A Deeper Shade of Green
by lola84
Summary: Bella moves to Forks for her senior year. When a mysterious new student turns her world upside down, will she have the strength to resist him, or is she destined to repeat her old mistakes? Will he be able to save her when the past catches up with her? AH
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1 – New Beginnings**

_I wandered aimlessly through a damp forest, vaguely aware of the fact that I was dreaming. I couldn't see anything around me except green – the leafy canopy above obscured my view of the undoubtedly gray sky, and the wet, mossy carpet beneath my feet covered the dirt below. The cold, damp air seemed to permeate my skin, chilling me to the bone. Walking in circles, I was lost. Lost, shivering, and drowning in an endless sea of green._

As the grating buzz of the alarm broke through to my consciousness, I groaned in irritation and shot a hand out to smack the snooze button, buying myself another precious few minutes in the cozy warmth of my bed. My attempt at wakefulness was hindered by the diffuse gray light glowing through the bedroom windows, an indicator of another rainy morning in Forks.

The infuriating alarm sounded again, and I grumbled, "I'm up, I'm up, already," as I headed to take a shower in the bathroom I shared with my dad, Charlie. We didn't have to worry about bathroom time-sharing issues, because Charlie left for work before sunrise. The warm water of the shower helped bring me to life, and as I sudsed up my hair with my favorite strawberry shampoo, I found myself wondering what my first day of Forks High School held in store and recalling the convoluted path that had led me here in the first place. _Me – back in Forks. Who would have guessed?_

Though I thought of myself as a Phoenix native, I was actually born under the nearly constant cloud cover of Forks, WA. My mother, Renee, split up with Charlie when I was 2, and Renee moved us away and raised me by herself in sunny Phoenix. She was young when she had me, only 19, so in a way we grew up there together.

We were best friends, and her impractical, carefree, frivolous ways balanced out my serious, introspective, analytical tendencies. In some ways, it was as if our relationship was reversed, and I was the parent and she the child. Renee always told me that I was an old soul, and that I had never really been a child, only a miniature adult.

As such, I couldn't ever seem to connect with people my own age. All throughout my childhood, I was painfully shy and sort of tomboyish. As an awkward, clumsy preteen, junior high was a particularly difficult time for me. I didn't look like all the other girls in Phoenix; whereas they were suntanned and bleached blonde, I had thick, wavy, mahogany hair and pale ivory skin. I was thin and petite, pretty but not gorgeous, quiet, and so clumsy that I was almost disabled. To my great chagrin, I was cursed by the tendency to blush furiously at the slightest provocation. This made me a particularly enjoyable target for teasing, as my tormenters were guaranteed to get a reaction in the form of my pale complexion flushing crimson.

Instead of sharing common interests with my peers, I was intellectual and bookish, an avid reader and a deep thinker. My advanced vocabulary made the gap between my classmates and me even more obvious. I was always quiet; an invisible observer content to watch the social dynamics of those around me from a distance. Most days, I was lonely but relatively content in my role as an outsider at school. I didn't feel like I belonged in any of the cliques in Phoenix any more than they were willing to accept me. Still, some days I grew tired of being invisible.

For all of my somewhat antisocial tendencies, I was also quick-witted and sarcastic, intensely creative and fiercely loyal. Eventually, I began to fear that no one would ever have a chance to get to know the real me.

Then, after my freshman year of high school, everything changed. As if overnight, I finally came into my own. When I returned to school for sophomore year, the braces had come off of my teeth, my untamable hair had calmed into long, shiny waves, and my body had developed in ways that caught the attention of the upperclassmen boys.

It wasn't just the physical maturation that defined my transformation; I felt different on the inside as well. Over the summer, I had grown up. It was as though my emotional and social maturity had finally caught up with my intellectual maturity. I suddenly felt confident and capable in social situations, and I was actually able to open up to people and make friends. It was then that I met my best friend in Phoenix, Angela Webber, one of the sweetest, most genuine people I have ever met.

To my great surprise, I was suddenly inundated with male attention, and I had no idea how to react. Luckily, flirtation is fifty percent feminine intuition and fifty percent balls, and I turned out to be pretty good at flirting. I was so good at it, in fact, that I ended up dating a guy named James. I liked James, but I definitely wasn't interested in pursuing a serious relationship with him. I wasn't opposed to relationships in general, but my priorities were schoolwork and college admission, in that order. _Don't dampen the excitement of this fresh start by thinking of James! Get going!_

Hopping out of the shower, I blew my hair dry until it hung, glossy and straight, halfway down my back. After applying some moisturizer, a brush of mascara, and a sweep of sparkly pink lip gloss, my simple maintenance routine was complete. I glanced quickly in the mirror, appraising the results. I'd been blessed with creamy porcelain skin, large expressive brown eyes, and full pink lips.

"Damn sexy, Swan. Those bitches don't stand a chance," I said cockily to my reflection, trying to psyche myself up for the first day of junior year at Forks High.

I went back to my bedroom, pulling on a pair of tight, dark denim jeans. I added black leather boots, a slim fitting white t-shirt, diamond stud earrings, and a pair of black sunglasses. Bounding down the stairs, I stopped briefly in the kitchen to fill a travel mug with hot coffee and grab a granola bar before sweeping up my backpack and jacket and heading out the door.

I sprinted to my pride and joy, a hot black Audi S5 coupe with buttery leather seats and a to-die-for sound system. I turned the key in the ignition, and as the car purred to life, I groaned in satisfaction. _This car is an orgasm on wheels. Damn good thing too, because I need a man in my life right now about as much as I need another hole in my head._

I sighed and allowed myself to relax as I skillfully navigated the rain-slickened roads to the high school. _Ah, thank you Phil._ My mom's new husband Phil was a major league baseball player who was just signed to play for the Florida Marlins. He very generously provided me with a bank account large enough for the three things that I deemed necessities, including the hotness that was my car, a modest but fashionable wardrobe, and (most importantly) four years worth of tuition to an ivy league university. Now that I could afford tuition, of course, I just had to work hard enough for these last two years of high school to be admitted to a top school.

As my thoughts drifted, the car handled so precisely that it practically drove itself, and I arrived in the parking lot in what seemed like no time. The exterior of Forks High School was exactly what I expected: small, brick, and backwoods as fuck. I was running late, so I had to circle the lot once before I found a spot.

The lot contained mostly secondhand vehicles and beaters, not unlike the vehicle I'd be driving were it not for Phil's contribution. My shiny baby appeared to be the nicest car in the lot, including the teachers'. I felt a twinge of guilt at the thought, but then I decided that it might be just as well. If everyone here mistakenly assumed that I was some entitled rich bitch, then they were just that much more likely to keep their distance. _And distance means Bella gets more work done, which in turn means Bella gets to go to Dartmouth, or Harvard, or Yale. Now stop thinking in the third person, Fucktard._

After years of observing the teenage social dynamic, I knew exactly how I'd have to behave in order to fit in without having to commit too much time and energy to making friends. I didn't enjoy acting like a frosty bitch, but at least I was becoming a damn good actress.

Holding my charcoal grey jacket over my head to protect my recently blown-out coif, I popped in the front office to pick up my schedule before heading off to my first class. The office lady, Mrs. Cope, offered me a campus map to aid me in finding my classes, but if I needed a map to navigate a campus consisting of approximately 10 clearly numbered buildings, then I should just strap on a helmet and demote myself to the second grade.

Honestly, I was nervous, though I was trying very hard not to admit it to myself. _What would the people here be like? _I would fit in well enough, one way or another. Either I'd find some people who I could genuinely click with, or I'd just fake it. The latter would leave me miserable (as usual) and sarcastic (as always), but at least I wouldn't get so caught up in burgeoning friendships that I'd lose focus on my work. That's what I tried to tell myself, anyway.

My first class of the day was Literature, and I easily located building 3, sliding in the door behind some other students and stashing my jacket on a hook near the door. _All right, Sexy B, it's go time._

Despite the fluttering of butterflies that I suddenly felt in the pit of my stomach, I strode into the tiny room like I owned the place, fixing my eyes on an empty chair in the middle of the class and heading straight for it. Every eye in the room followed my entrance, including those of the overweight, balding teacher. The girls were all staring at my hair and guys were staring at my tits, with very few exceptions. _You kids act like you've never seen a non-native Forkian before. Jeez, if I weren't slightly creeped out, I might be flattered._

Baldy (Mr. Mason, as it turned out) was eventually able to tear his gaze away from my chest for long enough to begin class, for which I was thankful. I was disappointed but not surprised to see that I had already read everything on the semester's reading list, so it looked like this was definitely going to be a sleeper class for me.

My next three classes were Government, Trig, and Spanish, and these went much the same: more unabashed stares, more material that I was already familiar with. _Yawn._ And, still, not a single person had actually talked to me yet.

As class ended, I noticed a short, somewhat spastic girl with very curly hair who had been in two of my classes so far. She was looking over at me and squirming, and I deduced that either she had to pee really badly or she was trying to summon the nerve to speak to the New Girl. Charitable creature that I am, I decided to put her out of her misery.

"Hey, you're in my Trig class with Varner, aren't you?" I asked her.

"Ohmygod, yes!" the spaz blurted.

_Eww. I asked her a question and she just came. Ha._

"I mean, yes, I am," she continued. "You're Isabella Swan, right?"

"Bella," I corrected, proffering a hand.

"I'm Jessica, but you can call me Jess," she began, as we exited the classroom and walked toward the cafeteria.

She twittered excitedly for the rest of our journey to the lunch room and into the food line. It seemed as though her primary objective was to fill me in on the trashy rumors about everyone at Forks High. Cringing internally, I found myself zoning out. From what I caught, she was attempting to inform me about the social hierarchy of Forks High. _This chick is definitely getting on my nerves._

In response to Jessica's sudden, frantic gesticulation, we were joined by a girl with cornsilk blonde hair and an attitude problem, who introduced herself as Lauren. Her natural expression appeared to be a condescending sneer. _So far, it seems as though I've met every tool in the shed.__Who's next?_

I purchased a blueberry bagel with cream cheese and a diet coke, then proceeded to follow these two gems to their table, where I "absolutely had to sit". _Well, okay then. _I was next introduced to a guy named Tyler, who seemed okay except for his inability to look anywhere above my chin, and a Star Wars type named Eric.

However, the real icing on the cake was Mike Newton. Newton had a round baby face, sky blue eyes, and hair gelled into tiny, idiotic spikes. This dude hung on my every word, much to the growing displeasure of Jessica. _Uh oh, I can already see this one playing out in my head… _Jess loves Mike. Mike loves New Girl. Jess hates New Girl._ And I worked so hard to secure my spot at the cool kids' table. Damn._

Trying to avoid the drama, I directed Newton's attempts at private conversation to the whole group, Jessica in particular. She was more than happy to jump in, even contributing a couple little thinly-veiled digs at me in the process! _Awesome._

Well, at least I was certain that these buttfucks would in no way detract from my single-minded mission of studying and success. With that reminder, I tore into my bagel and resumed my patented smile-and-nod routine with renewed vigor.

After lunch, Biology was my next class. Mike insisted on walking me there, chatting all the way. I'd come to the conclusion that this guy could be likened to a piece of toilet paper stuck to the bottom of your shoe. _He follows you everywhere. You can't get him away. He deserves to be flushed. It'd probably improve his hairstyle. _

All internal monologue aside, Bio was actually interesting. I was sans-partner and had a whole desk to myself, since the other students were all partnered up already. This worked greatly to my advantage, because I was way ahead from my AP Bio class back in Phoenix, and I was able to move at a quicker pace. I left the class, followed by Mike "TP" Newton of course, quite pleased… that is until I recalled that I was headed for gym, my last class of the day.

Ah, gym, the one chink in my carefully constructed armor. Even though I was mostly recovered from the disablingly clumsy days of my youth, I was certainly not graceful and I could _never_ be considered athletic. Instead, I had perfected an arsenal of useful gym class skills, the first of which was the classic duck-and-cover. In a bind, that was the only surefire way to save life and limb of both myself and everyone else within a 20 foot radius.

My next skill, more subtle and perhaps also more useful, was to flirt my way into being rescued by an athletic male teammate. As of the moment, it looked like Mike was the front runner among potential candidates to be my knight in wrinkly gym shorts.

My final skill, which was more like a mantra really, was to act like I didn't give a shit about anything, regardless of what humiliating things transpired. Hell, sometimes I'd even act like I actually intended for things to turn out that way.

_Just never let them see you cry._ Over the years, I'd learned to show no weakness, because teenagers can sense it, and they'll be on you like a wounded gazelle if you let them. Biting my lip in trepidation, I headed for the locker room.

To my fantastic relief, there was a note on the door stating that we wouldn't be dressing for gym today. I cheered internally. It had been a somewhat tiring first day, and I was almost aching to escape to the comforting leathery interior of my car.

At some point after getting my license at 16, I realized that driving was a pure joy for me. I liked the feeling of control as I guided a vehicle around sharp turns, and I enjoyed the way the purr of the engine became more of a growl when I floored the gas pedal. Enjoying the free feeling of speeding down the open road, I drove fast but not recklessly. After all, I was Sensible Bella, never one to let slip my tight grasp on control.

When gym class finally convened, I strode out to my car, trying to make it out of the parking lot before the crowds began to gather. I was semi-successful, but when I reached my shiny black baby, I was suddenly aware of a crowd of males gathered around it, eyeing the car with varied mixtures of envy, lust, and awe. I wanted to say "yeah, I can't believe I'm this lucky, either. I could never have afforded a car like this if it weren't for my stepdad."

Instead, I purred, "You like it? Look but don't touch, bitches. That goes for the car, too." I could see Jessica and Lauren nearby, giving me a gaze of what appeared to be unadulterated hero worship.

"Bye, Lauren. See you tomorrow, Jess," I called to them through the open window as I reversed smoothly and made my exit. In the rearview mirror, I could see them squealing with glee in my wake. I guessed that meant that I was "in", whether I exactly wanted to be or not.

The next stop on my tour, tentatively titled 'Bella goes to Bumpkinville', was the grocery store. I busted out my shopping list and made quick work of buying everything I'd need to turn Charlie's tragically understocked kitchen into a functional culinary workspace. Loading my wares into the trunk, I once again sunk into the soft seat behind the wheel of my favorite distraction.

Perhaps my love of driving was partly inspired by Jacob's enthusiastic affection for all things fast and mechanical in nature. Jake and I had been friends for nearly as long as I could remember. As a child, I used to spend 2 weeks in Forks every summer with Charlie, and we had spent most of time on the nearby La Push Indian reservation with my father's best friend, Billy Black. Jake was Billy's son, and though he was a year and a half younger than me, we became fast friends, talking and playing together on the rocky shores of First Beach.

Since I insisted instead that Charlie and I spend our vacation time together in California for the past few years, Jake and I hadn't seen each other since I was in eighth grade. _I'll have to stop by the rez and visit him one of these days, for old time's sake. It'd be nice to talk to one person my age who isn't a total douche bag. At least I hope he's not – I haven't actually seen him since I got boobs._

As I drove back to the familiar old house I'd be calling home for the next couple of years, rain began to drip from the skies again. Pulling into the driveway, I collected my groceries and high-tailed it into the house to stock the long-barren cupboards and get started on dinner. Domestic though I was not, I absolutely loved to cook. There was something very calming about pursuing a task all the way through, starting with raw materials and ending with a satisfying culinary creation. I used cooking as an outlet for expressing my mood, be it adventurous, joyful, depressed, or anywhere in between.

Tonight, chicken enchiladas were on the menu, because I was feeling a little homesick for Phoenix. Admittedly, the transition from sunny, endless skies to the hopelessly grey clouds of Forks would require a little adjustment on my part. I had only been here for a couple of days, and already I missed Renee, Angela, and every color besides green. I heard Charlie's footsteps then, breaking through my reverie. "Bells, you here?" he called.

"Yeah, Dad, in the kitchen," I responded. "Dinner will be ready in a few minutes."

He entered the kitchen, then, after hanging up his gun holster and his uniform jacket. As corny and provincial as it sounded, my dad was the Sheriff of Forks. Charlie looked over at the stove tentatively, sniffing the air. "Smells good, Bell. What is it?"

"Chicken enchiladas, Dad. I thought we'd broaden your taste horizons a little bit. Just trust me!"

We sat down to dinner a few minutes later, and Charlie hesitantly took his first bite. Looking pleased, he proceeded to dig in. _Ha, I guess he likes it. _Charlie was a man of few words. He was a bit of a loner, preferring to immerse himself in his work then spend his evenings in front of the television. My dad had always had difficulty expressing his emotions; I suppose I'm a bit like my old man in that way. As a result, our relationship was built on a quiet kind of unspoken affection for one another. Between working and fishing, he was hardly ever home, and he let me have my own space, which made him a very easy person to live with.

After we finished the dishes, I retired to my bedroom for the night. Since it was the first day of class, I didn't have any homework to do, so I wrote quick emails to Renee and Angela, then changed into a t-shirt and sweatpants and settled down in bed with my favorite dog-eared copy of _Pride and Prejudice_.

Before long, I switched off the lamp and drifted off to a peaceful, unusually dreamless sleep. I'm sure I wouldn't have slept so well had I known that my life was about to be turned upside down and shaken.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2 – First Impressions**

The rest of week went by much the same as the first day had. I was settling into a comfy little routine of acing my classes while trying not to let the inane chatter that constantly spewed forth from Jessica and Lauren kill any of my brain cells. If I was ever going to make it at a top university, I would need every last I.Q. point I could hang on to.

By Friday morning, I was confident that this semester would be exactly what I needed. Forks was not an exciting town, by any stretch of the imagination, but I was content to just keep to myself and read a good book. I could get used to the rain and the lack of sunlight, because I was really just biding my time until I finally got to go to college.

I imagined college to be a magical world of challenging coursework, deep discussions, and the potential to meet people with whom I shared common interests. And perhaps I'd meet an intellectual guy who I could actually carry on a conversation with. _Don't get me wrong, I love guys. Well, I love looking at guys, at least. Somehow, when they open their mouths, it all goes south._ I desperately hoped that college boys would be more mature than their high school counterparts, with slightly more to offer than sports conversations and constant, inappropriate boners.

When I left Phoenix, I resolved not to repeat my past mistakes. Arriving here at Forks, I vowed not to date anyone until I graduated high school. While I tried to convince myself that the self-imposed dating ban was just about wanting to focus fully on my academics, I couldn't ignore the fact that a large part of the decision was a result of everything that happened with James back in Arizona. What had started off as a little innocent flirtation eventually spiraled out of control, morphing into an unhealthy relationship that ended in near-disaster.

I met James at the beginning of my sophomore year of high school. I noticed him immediately; he was absolutely gorgeous, with soft, closely cropped blonde hair and sparkling blue eyes. He was new to the school that year, and apparently he was such a talented soccer player that he was able to walk into a position on our varsity team. What surprised me was that he seemed to notice me, too.

Though his tanned, toned body was certainly visually appealing, I wasn't impressed by his athletic prowess, unlike pretty much every other female in the school. They practically formed an entire religion around him, gathering daily at his locker to worship at the shrine of his body. Since that's definitely not my style, I made no move to join the Church of James. In fact, I was a little disgusted by all the attention he was getting just because he was a good looking soccer star. As far as anyone knew, he could be a deranged serial killer. A very sick, very hot serial killer.

However, my opinion of him changed the first time I heard him speak in my Honors English class. We were having a somewhat heated discussion of Milton's _Paradise Lost_. Defending Satan's viewpoint eloquently, James suddenly stood and quoted, "The mind is its own place, and in itself can make a heav'n of hell, a hell of heav'n." In that moment, I realized that I had misjudged him when I pegged him instantly as a shallow, self-absorbed athlete.

Perplexed by his depth of understanding of the poem, I approached him after class, and we continued the discussion well into our lunch hour. Speaking to him at length for the first time, I was impressed by his thoughtfulness and complexity, as well as surprised by his intensity. With the same fervent intensity that he argued his points in class and dominated plays on the soccer field, he pursued me. I flirted, but resisted his advances at first, because sometimes I intuitively sensed that he enjoyed the thrill of the hunt more than he actually enjoyed my company.

Eventually, I gave in to his charms and we started dating exclusively, but it seemed as though James always wanted more from me. He demanded increasing amounts of my time and attention, driving a wedge between me and my best friend Angela, as well as causing my grades to suffer. Even worse, he never respected the boundaries that I set for our physical relationship. James certainly never assaulted me, but he constantly tried to push me to the very limits of what I would allow him to do. I was no prude, and I was definitely attracted to him, but I knew myself well, and I certainly wasn't ready to have sex with him or anyone else.

After dating for around six months, I realized that our relationship was exhausting me. My grades were slipping, my other friendships were suffering, and I was completely tired of feeling like I was being chased. Sensible girl that I was, I decided to call it quits with James before things got any more serious. Unfortunately, his single-mindedly tenacious personality did not equip him to deal well with rejection.

When I confessed to him that I didn't think we should see each other anymore, his fiery temper exploded in a display worse than I'd ever seen. He refused to take "no" for an answer, and I became so frightened that I actually had to get the police involved. In what I considered to be one of the worst possible outcomes of our relationship, James began stalking me. He followed me constantly, lingering beside my car after school and creeping around outside my windows at night. When he began threatening me verbally, I felt like I had no other choice but to get a restraining order against him.

So, when Renee and Phil moved to Florida, I was thrilled at the chance to get out of Phoenix and start fresh. Out of love for my mother and respect for her wish to travel around with Phil and his ball team, I made the decision to move to Forks and live with Charlie. I rededicated myself to my schoolwork and promised that I wouldn't date anymore until college.

While I realized that two years was a long time to go without getting any regular action, I figured I'd survive. Besides, I wasn't above having a few no-strings-attached makeout sessions in the interim. Not that I'd seen anyone at Forks High who I'd like to make out with. _Ick. The best looking person I've seen here is Lauren, and she's a bitch. Even if she weren't, I don't like girls that way. But if I were forced to choose between her and Mike Newton…_ _Let's not go there._

My wandering thoughts were interrupted by the loud buzz of my alarm, which I deactivated immediately. I felt well-rested for once, so I climbed right out of bed without even bargaining with myself for another five minutes of warm cozyness. It was Friday morning, and I was in a good mood. The sun even looked as though it might peek through the clouds intermittently today, which was a small miracle considering my current locale.

Gliding through my morning routine, I put a little extra sexy into it on account of my cheerfulness. I even decided to dress up a little (for me), slipping into lacy blue underthings, a scandalous denim mini skirt, a tight grey knit top, and knee high black leather boots. I took one last glance in the mirror as I applied an extra coat of sparkly lip gloss. _Smokin' hot_. In reality, I looked a bit more like a hooker than I would have liked, but it was a little late to change. Somehow, I was running late as usual, and I collected my gear before flying out the door to my car.

As I hopped into the driver's seat, I was acutely aware of the sensation of the cool, buttery leather against the backs of my bare legs. I revved the engine to life, and I turned the volume of the radio all the way up. _Oh, yes. Today was going to be a good day. _

By the time I finished rocking out to Kanye's Love Lockdown, I had reached campus. I could tell from a distance that almost every spot in the student lot was already occupied, so I automatically drove around into the faculty parking lot. Without even slowing down, I swung the car into a tight sideways skid, screeching to a stop precisely in front of the building. _Fucking perfect car. I love you._

Beeping the locks behind me, I strode towards the door. Suddenly, I had the strangest sensation that someone was watching me. Fully cognizant of my microscopic skirt, I swung my hips a little as I made my entrance. _I hope you enjoyed the show, asshole._

When I reached my first period class, there was a static buzz of excitement in the air, and I could hear bits and pieces of hushed conversations. "What's the deal, dude?" I asked of no one in particular.

"Ohmygod, you're no longer the newest student at Forks High," Jessica gushed immediately. I merely raised my eyebrows and waited for her to continue. "So the new town doctor, Dr. Cullen, has like five adopted kids, and they're totally all starting school today."

I nodded my acknowledgement, then turned my attention to the teacher. I didn't enjoy being rude, but people like Jess had to be owned, or they'd try to own you. _Ah, so I'm no longer the New Kid. That's good; I think these fools were running dangerously low on fodder for gossip. Talking about five new students will keep them busy for at least a month._

The morning flew by, and every class period hummed with the same excited whispers. I caught sight of one of the new students in my Trig class. She was a tiny, pixie-like creature with pale skin and spiky black hair. The girl moved with unparalleled grace, and when she turned her head to face me, I let out a gasp of surprise. She was breathtakingly beautiful, with delicate, perfect features.

My lips formed an involuntary smile as I appreciated the aesthetics of her angelic face. The tiny girl caught me staring at her, grinning like an idiot, and she returned my smile with a warm smile of her own. "Hi, I'm Alice," she said in a musical voice.

"Bella," I responded, reaching out to shake her frail little hand. "Nice to meet you. Welcome to Hell," I added pleasantly.

Alice giggled. "It's nice to meet you, too, Bella. I have a feeling we're going to be great friends."

She turned back to face the front, and I raised an eyebrow at the whole exchange. _What the fuck was that? _Actually, though, something about her manner struck a familiar chord with me. We'd only just met, but somehow I felt as though I'd known her for years. It was an odd sensation, and I shook it off with a deliberate toss of my long, silken hair.

Jessica caught my attention, having overheard our brief conversation. She mouthed the words "total freak". I shrugged ambivalently, but I prickled internally at the insult to little Alice.

Spanish passed by uneventfully, and my growling stomach indicated that it was, in fact, time for lunch. The skirt and I (it attracted enough attention that it merited individual acknowledgment) headed for the cafeteria, and at some point I noticed that Jess and Lauren were flanking me, one behind each shoulder. _I guess that makes me their fearless leader. Oh, goody._

I stepped into the food line, aware of the fact that every guy within a 15 foot radius was unabashedly ogling my ass. I leaned over, pretending to adjust my shoe, and I heard a tray clatter to the floor directly behind me.

"Bella, you just literally made that guy drop his food. It's seriously like all over him now," Jess informed me, gazing at me in awe.

"Yeah, and?" I questioned coolly. _Everyone must play their role, and apparently mine's Queen Bitch._

Squirming uncomfortably then changing the subject, Jessica quickly moved on to her favorite topic of the day, the Cullens. "So I've got all the dirt on the new kids, and trust me, it's controversial. They were all adopted…"

"Shut up, Jess," Lauren interrupted. "They're right over there. Wait 'till we get to the table."

Shut down by me, then Lauren, in succession, Jessica looked utterly defeated. She stood there, tail between her legs, until we got to the front of the line. I purchased a vanilla yogurt and a diet coke. _School food sucks. I'll eat something more substantial when I get home._

As the two lapdogs hurried to complete their transactions and join me, I turned and strode purposefully toward our table. Swinging my hips in time to an imaginary beat, I felt the eyes of everyone in the cafeteria follow me across the room. _Damn, it feels good to be a gangsta._

I reached the table, where Newton was anxiously waiting to pull out a chair for me, and I quickly scanned the room. As I sat down, my eyes met the cold, stony gaze of the most heart-stoppingly beautiful boy I had ever seen. He was thin and lanky, with an untidy tangle of bronze-colored hair. He had pale skin and perfect, angular features. The most compelling parts of his inhumanly beautiful face, however, were his piercing green eyes. Suddenly, inevitably, I was drowning in them—drowning in a sea of green. He glanced away, disinterested, and the spell was broken.

Unaware that I'd been holding my breath, I automatically inhaled with a shudder. _Get it together, B. Sure, he's gorgeous, but you've seen better._ Though it helped to calm my palpitating heart, the statement was untrue. The boy had the face of an angel, and I'd never seen anyone so perfect.

Newton, annoyingly attentive pup that he was, immediately noticed my distress. I made the excuse that I wasn't feeling well, and rested my chin on my arm. Lauren, Jess, and Tyler joined us at the table, and Jessica immediately launched back into her story about the Cullens. Only, this time, I listened with acute interest.

"So Dr. and Mrs. Cullen can't have kids of their own, but they're like ridiculously rich and everything, and they adopted these five older kids. They're all gorgeous, obviously, but they're really stuck-up, and I hear they're all total freaks." I grimaced at Jessica's candor, but she continued, oblivious. "The really fucked-up part is that they're all _together_, like as couples. And they live together," she said, a hint of condemnation coloring her tone. "The huge, muscular boy is Emmett, and he's with the blonde girl, Rosalie. The tall blonde guy who looks like he's in pain is Jasper. He's actually Rosalie's twin. Anyway, he's with Alice, the little spiky-haired one."

"How the hell do you know all this stuff?" Tyler wondered. "They just moved here today!"

"Are you kidding? I've been waiting for the Cullens to arrive from Alaska for like two months now. It's a small town, you know? People talk," Jessica responded. Tyler just laughed and shook his head.

"And the boy with the reddish brown hair?" I interjected.

"In love already, Isabella?" Lauren questioned with a snide little smirk.

I actually hissed at her, and the smirk disappeared from her face. _Ha._

"That's Edward," Jessica continued. "Hot, but moody and entirely unapproachable. I think he's got the whole brooding intellectual thing going. I wouldn't bother, if I were you."

"Are you kidding?" I snorted. "I wouldn't bother even if he begged me." _So untrue. But he can beg if he'd like. On his knees. Preferably naked._ Jess and Lauren laughed adoringly, and Mike looked pleased.

I couldn't stop myself from sneaking another glance in Edward's direction. He chose that moment to look up, meeting my gaze with a fiery look of barely contained disgust. _Huh?_ For the first time since the eighth grade, I felt my face flush with burning heat. _Now I'm blushing again? Fantastic._

I stood up from the table, diet coke in hand, and stated simply, "I've gotta bounce." As I made my hasty exit from the cafeteria, I could again feel the eyes of most of the student body following my departure. _I guess my novelty hasn't quite worn off yet. Note to self: don't wear this skirt to school anymore._

I proceeded directly to the ladies' room, where I locked the stall door behind me and sank to the floor with my back against it. _Breathe, Bella. _ Just when I was settling into a comfortable routine here, suddenly it felt as though my world had been turned upside down and shaken.

I couldn't figure out why I was feeling this way, when all he did was look at me. I couldn't deny that what I was feeling was a direct result of what I had seen in the bronze-haired boy's blazing green eyes. I found something in the depths of his eyes – something that touched my very soul. _Am I going crazy? Get your shit together, Bella!_

I took a deep, calming breath in an attempt to collect myself, then I left the confines of my stall and headed for Biology. I was determined to forget my little episode in the cafeteria and pretend like Edward Cullen didn't exist. _I devised my dating ban for a reason, and I'll be damned if I'm going to let some pretty-boy screw it up._

I reminded myself that this was about my life – my schoolwork, my chances at college admission, and my future. It was also about protecting myself from people like James. I shuddered at the mere thought. If I had to pretend to be a shallow, icy bitch to keep people at a distance and accomplish my goals, then it was a small price to pay.

Arriving at the Bio classroom a few minutes early, I settled into my big, empty desk, spread out my materials, and began reviewing my notes from the last lecture. When the other students began to filter in, Mike came to sit on the corner of my desk and bug the shit out of me, as per his usual routine. As Mike finally wandered back over to his seat, Jessica turned to give me a dirty look.

Unaffected, I met her gaze with a winning smile and a shrug. "Don't hate the playa," I began, but I stopped, mouth gaping open, when I suddenly realized that the lanky angel from the cafeteria was now standing directly at the end of my table. Up close, I could see that he was quite tall – about 6'2'' – and not nearly as thin as he'd appeared when he was sitting by his muscle-bound brother.

He wore a tight, long sleeved charcoal t-shirt, and I could see the muscles on his forearms where his sleeves were pushed up to his elbows. My eyes moved up his arms to his well-defined shoulders, then across his tight pecs. _Damn._ With great effort, I closed my still-gaping mouth, then raised my eyebrows inquisitively. "Yes?" I squeaked.

He paused, but the look on his flawless face spoke volumes. He was clearly _not_ impressed. Whether he was unimpressed by me, the entire Olympic peninsula, or life in general, I wasn't entirely sure. Finally, he spoke. "Hello, I'm Edward Cullen. Mr. Banner just informed me that we will be lab partners for the semester." His words were terse but polite, and the velvet tones of his voice temporarily stunned me.

"Bella," I managed. "Bella Swan."

Edward sat down in the empty chair beside me, and I gathered my belongings to my side of the shared table. Thankfully, it was a lecture day, so I didn't have to interact with him anymore. However, I couldn't resist stealing little glances at his profile. He was so beautiful that it made my heart ache. _Look but don't touch, B. He'd only disappoint you, anyway._

On about the third glance, he caught me staring, so I let a protective curtain of hair fall between us, shielding me from his inexplicably hostile green gaze. Trying to distract myself, I paused my note-taking briefly to reapply my pink lip gloss, and I caught Edward rolling his eyes at me contemptuously. _Oh hell, no._

I had every intention of confronting him after class and recommending a procedure to remove the stick from up his ass, but when the bell rang, he sprung up immediately and disappeared from the classroom. I was left in his wake, confused and somewhat pissed off. _Wow. He already hates me, and we've barely spoken two words to each other. As an added bonus, he's so gorgeous that I can barely keep my eyes off him. This is certainly going to make for an awkward semester._

Gym class was an absolute disaster, because I was paying even less attention than usual. _Oh, hmm, I wonder what has me so distracted? _ We played co-ed floor hockey today, and I inadvertently maimed a record three people. I passed off two of the injuries as having resulted from my overly aggressive playing style.

"Sorry, Coach, I just got caught up in the game," I said, batting my eyelashes shamelessly.

The third injury was a clear case of friendly fire, and there was no way to disguise the fact that I had accidentally racked my teammate (Mike Newton, no less) in the nuts with my hockey stick. I apologetically handed him an ice pack, and he informed me that he felt much better at the end of the period.

I changed quickly then raced out to the parking lot, anxious to be within the peaceful confines of my car. Making it there in record time, I shut the car door behind me then closed my eyes, laying my head back on the seat and inhaling deeply the smell of the rich leather interior. I immediately felt more relaxed, and I couldn't help but smile in pleasure as the engine purred. The long, terrible day was finally over.

As I pulled out of my spot, I noticed the charming Edward Cullen glaring at me from his position beside a shiny silver Volvo. His weak attempt to burst my little bubble of happiness infuriated me, and as I passed him, I flipped him a perfectly-manicured bird. _Welcome to Forks, asshole. _The surprised look on his face made me smile even wider as I pulled onto the highway with a definitive squeal of my tires.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3 – Old Friends, New Foes**

I put on My Chemical Romance for the ride home, and I listened to Cemetery Drive while I waited for the rain to let up so I could make it into the house without getting completely soaked. I was in need of some serious comfort food, so I went to the kitchen and started preparing dinner. I put some chicken breasts into the oven to bake, then I peeled potatoes and set them to boil on the stove.

While I waited, I started reading _Romeo and Juliet_ for what was probably the hundredth time. We were going to discuss the play in my Literature class on Monday and I figured I should refresh my memory. Actually, it was one of my favorite love stories of all time, so I was reading as much for my own enjoyment as for the class. _Romeo and Juliet_ had always touched my heart, because I was drawn to the idea of a pure, ideal kind of love that could overcome seemingly insurmountable odds. They went up against their families, even their own destinies. In the end, even death couldn't keep them apart. The story is a classic tragedy, and in my opinion, it couldn't have ended any other way. A love so powerful, burning so hot that it threatened to catch their world on fire, was never meant to last.

Setting my book down on the table, I checked on the chicken in the oven. It was almost done, so I drained the potatoes then mashed them with a little milk and some salt and pepper. I made a quick gravy on the stove and I was heating some vegetables in the microwave when Charlie's cruiser pulled into the driveway. As I set the table, I heard his heavy footsteps in the hallway. "Bella? Is that you?" Charlie called.

"Yeah, Dad, it's me," I answered, laughing softly. _Who else would be in the kitchen, cooking dinner?_ _The last time I checked, burglars just took your stuff._

"How was school, kiddo?" Charlie asked, sitting down at the table while I got the food out of the oven.

"It was fine, Dad. So far my classes are pretty easy, at least easier than my classes were in Phoenix."

"You, uh, studying Shakespeare?" he asked, nodding his head at the copy of _Romeo and Juliet_ still lying on the table.

"Yep, in my Lit class," I responded. Charlie grunted in acknowledgement, and that was the end of our dinner conversation. We spent the rest of the meal in companionable silence, and after we washed the dishes I headed upstairs to my room.

I read a little more, then I changed into my pajamas and responded to emails from Angela and Renee. I told them each about my day, but I didn't mention the odd encounters with my new biology lab partner. I didn't really know what to say about him—I couldn't exactly say "oh, yeah, and the most beautiful man I've ever seen started school today, but all he did was give me dirty looks for no apparent reason," so I left that part out.

It was Friday night, but I didn't really have anywhere to go, and I was actually pretty tired. I put on some music and got into bed. Though my eyelids felt heavy, my thoughts were racing. _Why on earth could he possibly hate me? What could I have done to offend him?_ I replayed the day's events in my head, but I couldn't figure out a single thing that I could have said or done to deserve the furious glares that Edward shot me at every opportunity. Giving up, I fell into a fitful sleep, but my dreams were haunted by his penetrating green eyes. As I tossed and turned, I had fleeting visions of him—his furrowed brow, his pale skin, his perfect lips, and his untidy bronze hair.

I woke up in a cold sweat with my sheets tangled around my legs. The greenish-gray light of the early morning shone through my bedroom windows, and I could hear Charlie moving around downstairs. I headed down to the kitchen, still in my sweats, to sit and drink a cup of coffee with Charlie before he left to go fishing with Harry Clearwater.

"Morning, Bells," he said, pouring me a cup of coffee as I took a seat at the kitchen table.

"Good morning. Thanks, Dad," I mumbled, accepting the coffee mug then slurping from it greedily.

Charlie chuckled. "What are you up to today? Would you like to go fishing with your old man?"

"Uh, actually, I'm just going to get some chores done around the house. And I think I'll wash my car today, since it's not too cold outside." He raised his eyebrows at that, but didn't comment.

"Are you sure you don't want to come with me? Or I could stay home… Sometimes I worry that I leave you alone too much, Bell."

"It's okay, Dad. I really don't mind being on my own. I think it runs in the family," I said, winking at him. "Besides, if you knew any of the kids in town, you'd be glad that I prefer my solitude."

"How about Billy's son, Jacob?" he pressed. "You two used to be pretty good friends. Maybe you could stop by La Push and see him."

"That's actually a good idea, Dad. I've been intending to go visit Jake since I got here; I haven't seen him in years. Maybe I'll do that today."

Charlie grunted in satisfaction, then packed up his fishing gear and left for the day. Pleased to have the house to myself for the morning, I collected my iPod, selected a pop/dance playlist, and proceeded to rock out while I cleaned the bathroom and started some laundry. Next, I took a sponge and bucket outside, where I painstakingly sudsed and rinsed my beautiful black coupe.

Stepping back into the house, I switched out the laundry, then dragged the Shop-Vac outside and vacuumed out the car's interior. Pleased with the glossy, spotless result, I went back inside to get ready. I took a leisurely shower, then pulled my hair back into a ponytail and dressed in a pair of old ripped jeans, a stretchy black t-shirt, and my worn black Converse shoes.

I decided to drive over to the La Push reservation to look for Jake, and I stopped in the kitchen to make a quick sandwich for lunch first. By the time I made it out to my car, rain had started to pour from the sky onto the Audi's perfectly buffed exterior. _Well, fuck. That figures. At least it was nice while it lasted—for all of thirty minutes._

Hopping behind the wheel, I made the fifteen minute drive to La Push in about eight minutes, and soon I was pulling to a stop in front of the Blacks' familiar red house. Jake must have heard someone pull into the driveway, because his shaggy head popped out of his little makeshift garage to look inquisitively in my direction.

"Bella!" he hollered, as his face stretched into a grin of unadulterated delight.

"Jake!" I yelled back, returning his infectious grin.

He suddenly bounded out of the garage towards me, grabbing me up into a huge bear hug as my feet dangled helplessly. "Can't… breathe," I gasped.

"Oh, sorry!" Jake responded sheepishly, still smiling. "I guess I don't know my own strength."

"Jake, you're huge!" I blurted, stepping back to appraise him. Jacob must have grown two whole feet since the last time I'd seen him. He had the same russet skin, large brown eyes, inky black hair, and blindingly white teeth that I remembered, but everything else about his physical appearance had changed. He was outrageously tall—maybe 6'5''—with lean, hard-muscled limbs and a strong, square jaw. "Dude, you look like you could pick up my car!" I joked. _But seriously. Growth spurt, much?_

Suddenly, Jake let out a long, low whistle. _I guess he noticed that I've changed a bit, too._ Smirking, I looked up at him, expecting to catch him checking out my body. Instead, I followed his line of sight directly over my shoulder to my car. Stepping around me, he walked the length of my car, running his gigantic hand reverently over its lines as he passed. "Fucking hot car," he muttered appreciatively.

"I know, right?" I agreed. "Thanks to my stepdad Phil and the Florida Marlins."

"Beautiful," he mumbled, peering into the interior of the Audi through the tinted windows.

"It must be! I have boobies now and you didn't even notice," I teased childishly. _I guess Jake still brings out the kid in me._

"Aww, Bells, sure I noticed. You look great," he said sincerely. "But you're no Audi S5," he added with a devilish smirk.

I chased him around the small yard, and when he tripped on his own gangly feet, I pounced on his head and gave him a rough noogie. "You may be bigger now, but I'm still older," I reminded him gleefully as we collapsed into a giggling pile.

Undoubtedly hearing the commotion, Jake's father Billy rolled his wheelchair out onto the porch to investigate. "Well, I see that some things never change," he commented with a smile. "Hi, Bella. It's nice to see you again."

"Hey, Billy! Good to see you too," I responded with a smile. How have you been?"

"I'm still dancing," he chuckled, pointing down to his chair. I just laughed and shook my head as Billy rolled back into the house.

Being here with the Blacks, it sort of felt like I never left. It was a nice, comfortable feeling of family and belonging. I made a mental note to come back and spend time with Jake more often. He and I spent the rest of the afternoon catching up, laughing and talking mostly about his friends from school. He told me all about his two best buddies, his classes, and the car he'd been working on. Jake had been building a VW Rabbit practically from scratch, and he hoped to have it running by his sixteenth birthday, which was coming up in a few weeks. As the sun began to set, I realized that I had better head back because Charlie would be home soon.

"I'd better get going," I sighed. "I have a world-famous lasagna to assemble."

"Ooh, lasagna. Sounds awesome," Jake enthused, rubbing his flat stomach.

"You should come over sometime and I'll make you some," I promised. "Charlie would love to see you."

"I'll do that. I had a great time today, Bells. It was really good to see you again," he said with a smile.

"Yeah, Jake, I had fun, too. I think I laughed more this afternoon than I have in months," I admitted. "I'll come to visit again soon, for sure."

As I pulled out of the driveway, I could see Jacob waving frantically behind me and I waved back with a laugh.

I spent most of the day on Sunday working on Trig homework and catching up on the assigned reading in my Government textbook. When I went to bed on Sunday night, I couldn't help but feel a little apprehensive about going back to school in the morning. I decided that I was going to try to talk to Edward in Bio to find out what his deal was. He obviously had a problem with me, and I intended to find out why. I told myself that the only reason I cared was for the sake of preserving a civil, functional lab partnership. _Riiiiiight._

I awoke with a start on Monday morning, sitting straight up in bed. I glanced at the clock and noticed that the numbers were flashing on the LCD screen. _Hmm._ The power must have gone off at some point during last night's thunderstorm. I checked the time on my cell phone: 7:20 AM. _Oh shit, I'm late!_

I bounded out of bed and down the hall to the bathroom. I took a hasty shower, then skipped the usual blow-out in favor of a high, wavy ponytail. I pulled on my favorite jeans and a deep blue v-neck sweater then bounded down the stairs, grabbing my things mid-stride as I flew out the door.

Pulling up to the school, I scanned the lot for an available parking space. _Well, crap._ The only open spot was located exactly two spaces down from the stupid, shiny Volvo. _Whatever._ I parked in the spot, then booked it into the school, arriving outside my Lit class exactly two minutes late.

I slipped into the classroom quietly, hoping to avoid the attention of the teacher. "Glad you could join us, Miss Swan," Mr. Mason said pointedly. _Sigh._ I flashed him my most winning smile, then proceeded to sit in an empty desk near the back of the room. "Perhaps you'd do us the honor of reading the part of Juliet."_ No problem._ "We'll also need someone to read the part of Romeo," Mr. Mason continued. All the males in the class immediately dropped their eyes and began to study their notebooks intently.

"No volunteers? How about... Mr. Cullen." My eyes moved to the bronze-haired boy sitting two seats ahead of me in the next row over, and my stomach dropped. _I didn't even notice that he was in this class! Now he's reading Romeo to my Juliet? Perfect._

"You may start on Act III, Scene V, page 134."

_My heart skipped a beat. Not this part! It's the scene of Juliet's transition into womanhood—after her first (and last) night with Romeo, right before he is sent off into exile. Romeo is willing to die just to stay with her, but she's forced to send him away so that he may live. This scene is so desperate, so hopeless, and so very final. It breaks my heart and I cry every time I read it! Shit shit shit._

Since I had no other choice, I took a deep breath and began to read aloud. "Wilt thou be gone? It is not yet near day: it was the nightingale, and not the lark, that pierced the fearful hollow of thine ear. Nightly she sings on yon pomegranate-tree: believe me, love, it was the nightingale."

_That was the nightingale singing, so it must still be night. It can't possibly be morning yet. I'm not ready for you to go. It's still night, please believe me._

Edward's velvet voice spoke Romeo's words, and my heart began to break. "It was the lark, the herald of the morn, no nightingale: look, love, what envious streaks do lace the severing clouds in yonder east. Night's candles are burnt out, and jocund day stands tiptoe on the misty mountain tops. I must be gone and live, or stay and die."

_He doesn't believe me. He says that it is morning and he must go; he'll be killed if he stays._

"Yon light is not day-light, I know it, I." My eyes filled up with traitor tears and my voice cracked, but I continued. "It is some meteor that the sun exhales, to be to thee this night a torch-bearer, and light thee on thy way to Mantua. Therefore stay yet; thou need'st not to be gone."

_Your eyes deceive you. That light is not the sun—you don't have to go yet, please!_

My vision blurry with tears, I could no longer read the words on the page, so I shut my book. I didn't need it anyway, because I knew these words by heart.

Hearing my book close, Edward turned to face me. He closed his own text and continued fervently, reciting from memory. "Let me be ta'en, let me be put to death; I am content, so thou wilt have it so. I'll say yon grey is not the morning's eye, 'tis but the pale reflex of Cynthia's brow; nor that is not the lark, whose notes do beat the vaulty heaven so high above our heads." He paused, breaking my gaze and squeezing the bridge of his nose between his finger and thumb as if deliberating on something. "I have more care to stay than will to go: come, death, and welcome! Juliet wills it so. How is't, my soul? Let's talk; it is not day."

_He will pretend it's still night. He's willing to stay if I want him to, even though it means that he will surely die._

"It is, it is," I pleaded with him, tears streaming down my face. "Hie hence, be gone, away! It is the lark that sings so out of tune, straining harsh discords and unpleasing sharps. Some say the lark makes sweet division; this doth not so, for she divideth us. Some say the lark and loathed toad change eyes, O, now I would they had changed voices too! Since arm from arm that voice doth us affray, hunting thee hence with hunt's-up to the day, O, now be gone; more light and light it grows."

_It is morning, after all. Go now, so that you can live, before it's too late!_

Edward looked up slowly then, his intense green gaze falling on my tear-streaked face. "More light and light; more dark and dark our woes," he said quietly.

The bell rang then, breaking the spell of our words. For a moment, no one moved. Mr. Mason cleared his throat and muttered, "Well, that was certainly interesting. Uh, class dismissed."

Everyone filtered toward the door, and I was silent as I walked to my locker. Putting my books away, I realized that Lauren had followed me out of the classroom. Honestly, I was still more than a little dazed from my poetic dialogue with Edward. "So are you gonna tell me what the hell just happened back there?" she asked unceremoniously.

"I don't know," I shrugged. _It's true. I don't have a fucking clue what that was._

"You don't _know_?" she repeated incredulously.

"Yeah, that's what I said," I snapped. "I just really get into Shakespeare, that's all."

"Whatever, Bella," Lauren grumbled as she turned on her heels, flipping her blonde hair as she walked away. "Bitch," she muttered under her breath. _I heard that._

"Cunt rag," I retorted loudly to her retreating figure. She stopped, turned, and smiled at me, then resumed walking away. _Weird._

Word had spread throughout the student body about my tear-filled display, so I dialed up the I-don't-give-a-shit attitude to near maximal levels. Acting like a haughty bitch was exhausting, and by lunch time I was already sick of it. When someone at our lunch table inevitably asked me about what had happened in Lit class, I responded with a purr. "I've been working on my acting skills, and Juliet was the perfect outlet. Don't be jealous."

"Wow, acting?" Jess gushed. "That's, like, so cool." _Well, that was outrageously easy to spin._

I didn't see Edward in the cafeteria, and I felt a twinge of inexplicable disappointment. I'd been planning to confront him about his hostile behavior from Friday, but at this point, the events of the morning seemed like a more pressing matter. _Great. I've known him for less than a week, we've spoken a total of like three words to each other (not counting Shakespeare), and we've already got a shitload of issues that merit discussion. Perfect._ I had no clue what I'd even say to him about this morning, but I figured I'd wait until Biology class and just wing it.

When I got to Bio, Edward was already there, sitting at our shared table and looking mind-numbingly gorgeous. It was a struggle to keep my jaw hinged and my breathing steady as my eyes took him in. He was wearing a thin navy sweater that clung to his muscular chest, and his long legs were stretched out casually underneath the table. He had a slight smile on his face, and he nodded to me in greeting. _Dude is a walking mood swing, but he looks like sex on a stick._

With a valiant effort to appear unaffected, I took my seat beside him. I busied myself with taking out my notebooks and pen, then took a deep breath and turned to face him. At the last second, I decided to go with the total honesty approach.

"Look, Edward, what happened earlier was… awkward. I'm really embarrassed that I started crying like that. It's just that I'm really passionate about the story of Romeo and Juliet, and we happened to be reading one of my favorite scenes. It's such a powerful moment, filled with such desperation and raw need. I figured I might tear up, because I always do when I read that part, but the all-out bawling thing was entirely unexpected," I rambled. _I intended to be honest, but not quite _that_ honest. Oh, well._

"That's all right," Edward said in his low, velvety tone. I practically melted into the floor. "I didn't mind your reaction at all. I really wasn't surprised; I've been told I make a very compelling Romeo," he said, his full lips stretching into a crooked grin.

My eyes widened in surprise. _That cocky bastard. I just opened up to him about my emotional reaction to one of my favorite plays, and he twists it around as if it were all about him?_ Edward's green eyes sparkled as he gauged my reaction. He seemed pleased with what he must have found—a mixture of surprise, embarrassment, and anger. But mostly anger.

"As if," I retorted with a huff. _Wow. His proximity must be negatively impacting my vocabulary._ "Don't flatter yourself. It really had nothing to do with you," I informed him angrily. "Arrogant asshole," I added under my breath. He heard it, and his eyes shone with obvious delight. I spent the rest of the lab with my arms crossed, speaking to Edward only when absolutely necessary. When I was forced to address him, I injected each word with as much venom as I could muster, which was quite a bit. He definitely got the idea that I was offended by what he'd said, and judging by the smug look on his face, it was quite the satisfactory result. When the bell finally rang, I stormed out of the class without sparing him a single glance.

Stomping into my last-hour gym class, I took my aggressions out on the volleyball. My wayward serve hit some poor girl in the head right behind her ear, and I'd have sworn she was lights-out for a couple of seconds. _I wish Cullen were on my team right now. I'd really like to knock _him_ out with a volleyball._

The period passed without any more serious injuries, and I was finally free to leave for the day. As I walked out to my car, I had calmed down considerably, but I was still irritated. _Why am I letting this guy get under my skin? He's obviously just a total dick who likes to mess with people's heads. I can't let myself get caught up in his mindfuck._

Pulling out of my parking spot, I saw Edward approaching his Volvo. Our eyes met, and I briefly considered gunning the engine and running him over. Ever the sensible girl, however, I decided that doing so would inflict too much damage to my car. I would swear that he caught the idea as it flashed across my face, because as I exited the lot I could see him in my rearview mirror, practically rolling with laughter.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4 – The Longest Day**

After today's events, I abandoned all hope of salvaging a workable relationship with my Biology lab partner. I was sure that Edward was a total ass and I didn't intend to have anything more to do with him. It was obvious that I had let the smug little sonofabitch get into my head, so I was going to have to make a concerted effort to get him back out. Unfortunately, by spending all evening trying to steel my resolve to forget Edward Cullen, I ended up thinking about him all night.

It was dark, and I awoke to the sensation of a cool breeze blowing across my sweat-dampened skin. My sleep-bleary eyes came into focus and I could see that the window was open, my filmy lace curtains fluttering in the breeze. I registered that as odd, because the window had been firmly closed when I went to bed. Climbing out from under my comforter, I shivered as another gust of wind hit my bare skin. I'd gone to bed wearing only a cotton camisole and a pair of boyshorts because it had been cozy and warm in my room earlier this evening. I reached the window and closed it, then tiptoed back across the wind-chilled wood floor towards my bed.

I heard the floor creak behind me and I spun, my breath catching in my throat. _Edward._ His name must have escaped my lips, because he instantly stepped forward to wrap his arms around me tightly. The hard planes of his perfect body pressed against mine, and as he leaned in towards my face he closed his eyes. I tilted my head up, and as his pouty pink lips touched mine in a gentle kiss, I was sure I'd died and gone to heaven. My body responded to him automatically and I wound my fingers into his hair, pressing him closer to me as I deepened our kiss. He moaned softly into my mouth, and suddenly I was pushing him down onto the bed, crawling on top of him as I continued to kiss his mouth hungrily.

Moving my attention to his neck, I kissed and nibbled my way along his collarbone, then gently sucked the hollow beneath his ear. He gasped, then flipped us over with a growl. I found myself on my back beneath him as he rested against me lightly, supporting his weight with his arms. He gazed into my eyes, and in that instant, I forgot how to breathe. With the most intent look on his angelic face, he slid his long fingers beneath the hem of my shirt, caressing the skin of my stomach. I thought I'd die of pleasure at the sensation…

The buzzing of my alarm pulled me back to consciousness, waking me from what was hands-down the best dream I'd ever had. Pressing the button to silence the buzz didn't seem like punishment enough, so I yanked the power cord free from the wall and drop-kicked the alarm clock across the room. Flushed and disoriented, I made my way down the hall to the bathroom, where I took an unpleasant but necessarily cold shower. I stepped out of the shower, shivering but clear-headed. _That fucking figures. I work so damn hard to try to forget about Edward then I end up having a sex dream about him?_ Well, technically, it wasn't a sex dream, but kissing Edward in my subconscious mind had been considerably hotter than any encounter I'd ever had, in dreams or reality. I tried like hell to put it out of my mind.

The school day started out relatively normal by comparison to the weird days that I'd been having lately. All throughout the day, however, I was uncharacteristically distracted. _His lust-filled eyes, his lips on my neck, his fingers grazing my skin..._ After the overt sexuality of last night's painfully realistic dream, I was left feeling frustrated and grouchy.

In an attempt to make up for my bad mood, I had taken extra care with my appearance this morning. I settled on a tight black boatneck top that showed off the pale, creamy skin of my neck and an artfully faded pair of jeans that clung in all the right places. I wore my hair down in soft, full waves, opting not to bother with the straightening iron, and I finished with a pair of dangly earrings and my signature strawberry lip gloss. _At least I make feeling bad look good._

In part, I was perturbed at my unconscious mind for constructing such an intimate fantasy around such a raging douche bag. On the other hand, I could hardly blame myself, because any woman with a pulse would find said douche bag undeniably attractive. It was almost as though he were a demon, sent here to torture me with his sex hair and his pouty lips, and tempt my already weakened resolve. Shaking my head to clear it, I continued the obligatory trudge through my morning classes.

By Biology, I had calmed down somewhat. _Just take deep breaths and try not to make eye contact with him._ As I walked to our table, I couldn't help but notice that Edward looked distant and somewhat strained. When I took my seat, his hands immediately grasped the edge of the table so tightly that the muscles in his forearms rippled and his knuckles turned white. Curious and a little concerned, I hazarded a glance at his gorgeous face. His head was angled purposefully away from me, and I could see that his strong jaw was clenched tightly in some unnamed emotion.

"Hi, Edward," I whispered softly, entirely expecting him to ignore me. _What the fuck happened to pretending he doesn't exist?!_ He turned, and his look softened.

"Hello, Bella," he responded sweetly, dazzling me with a beautiful smile. When my vision began to darken around the edges, I realized that I had stopped breathing, and I inhaled with a gasp. Edward chuckled lightly under his breath and I blushed in embarrassment. _Seriously? Not the whole blushing thing again…_

To provide some measure of coverage for my now pink face, I tossed my hair over my shoulder between us. I sensed him stiffen in his chair, then he squirmed uncomfortably and tried to angle his body away from me as he did so. I sniffed my hair surreptitiously, just to make sure it didn't smell like a greasy burger from the cafeteria. _Nope, I smell fine. Unless he has something against strawberries. Strange, beautiful boy._

We were doing a cell mitosis lab, and I was pleasantly surprised to find that Edward went through the slides as quickly as I did, labeling each one accurately as we took turns viewing them through the microscope. We finished the lab ridiculously early, and almost twenty minutes remained in the period. Making conversation, I asked him, "You seem really confident with the material. Have you done this lab before?"

"Yes," he nodded, putting our slides away. "I was in AP Biology at my school in Alaska."

"Me, too," I agreed, "back in Phoenix. The curriculum here isn't exactly challenging, but at least it leaves us with plenty of time to enjoy the raucous Forks nightlife." He laughed softly at my lame joke.

I was suddenly aware that we had at least one thing in common: we were both new to this rainy little town. We'd each left behind homes and lives to come here. I knew why his family had moved, courtesy of loud-mouthed Jessica. His mother wanted to live in a quaint little town and his father, Dr. Cullen, had relatives in the area. When Dr. Cullen applied for a position at the hospital, they offered it to him right away. Of course, they were thrilled to acquire such a knowledgeable and talented young physician.

Curious, I asked Edward, "Do you ever miss it? Alaska, I mean?"

"Not really," he responded with a shrug. "High school tends to be the same wherever you are. Different names, different faces, but always the same tired themes."

"That's a rather dark perspective. Don't you ever make friends? You know, connect with anyone?" _Oops, too personal._ I could practically see him closing off to me.

Without answering my query, he countered, "What about you? Do you miss Phoenix?" I didn't question how he knew where I was from, because everyone knows everything in this tiny town.

"Yes and no," I responded honestly. "I miss my mom and my best friend Angela. I miss the sun and the heat, and the AP courses. But that's about it—everything else, I just needed to get away from." I cut myself off with the realization that that I'd been about to engage in an overshare of epic proportions. Edward seemed sincerely interested in what I was saying, but there was no way he needed to know what (or who, more accurately) I was running from.

He seemed to sense my omission, and he pressed for more. "Why did you move back to Forks, after being gone for so many years?"

"My mom recently got married to my stepdad, Phil. When they moved to Florida, I decided to come here and live with my dad," I explained, giving him the simple version.

"You don't like the guy," he guessed.

"No, Phil is great. It's just that he's a baseball player for the Marlins and he travels around a lot. Renee really wanted to travel with him, but she offered to stay with me instead. I want her to be happy, though, so I decided to come here and live with Charlie," I explained.

"But that's not the whole story. What were you running from?" he questioned, his green eyes fixed on me intensely.

"Excuse me?" I squeaked, shocked. _Was he reading my mind?_

"You said before that you needed to get away, so I just assumed… I'm sorry, that was too forward of me," he muttered, looking chagrined.

"No, it's okay," I responded. "I'll just turn our worksheet in," I said quickly, grabbing for the page. Edward must have had the same idea, because he reached to pick up the sheet at the same time, and his hand grazed the back of mine.

The instant our hands touched, it felt like an electric current shot up my arm. The spark originated where our skin touched and spread throughout my entire body. Surprised, I jerked my hand back. His touch reminded me of last night's dream. When he turned to look at me, all of the images from the dream came flooding back – _his eyes, his hands, his lips_ – and I was frozen in place, mesmerized by my own recollections. I blushed furiously as images of him – _licking, touching, tasting_ – filled my mind. I hadn't blushed this much in years; I just couldn't seem to control my body's reaction to him. I noticed that Edward was still staring at me, his full lips parted slightly. I could almost imagine that his breathing was a little irregular, as well.

When the bell rang, I watched as he somehow collected himself, pulling on an air of polite detachment like a mask. _I caught you! You're a fucking fraud, just like me._ Though it took me a little longer to pull myself together, I, too, assumed my well-practiced façade of cool indifference.

Since I was distracted again by the thoughts buzzing around in my head, gym class was another waking nightmare. By now, everyone had learned to give me a wide berth on the courts, but I still managed to sprain my wrist. However, I was thankful that (this time) I was the only casualty of my own athletic inabilities.

My mind kept returning to the same thought—I couldn't believe that I'd actually had a civil, even pleasant, conversation with Edward Cullen. He was the first person who'd actually bothered to ask me how I felt about the move, though admittedly I'd initiated the discussion. Still, he seemed genuinely interested in what I'd had to say. He looked captivated, even. _It's probably all part of a complex scheme to get into my pants._ I couldn't make myself believe that, though. When I looked into the unfathomable depths of his blazing green eyes, I felt as if I could tell him absolutely anything. _Maybe we could be friends._ My heart pounded in my ribcage at the very thought.

Heart thumping and mind racing, I crossed the parking lot to my car deep in thought. It was pouring down rain and the blacktop was covered in a thin layer of standing water, but for once I barely noticed. I pulled up the hood on my jacket and was sloshing my way to the Audi when I heard a strange sound.

It was the loud squealing of car tires, and the sound was getting closer. Shaken from my thoughts, I looked up to see a minivan sliding towards me at an unnatural angle. I froze in fear; it was all happening so fast. All I had time to do was squeeze my eyes shut before a blow from the side knocked the wind out of me. I heard the screeching of metal and the crunching and popping of glass.

I opened my eyes, afraid of what I might see. _Edward._ I found myself laying on the pavement in his arms, mere feet from where the careening van would have pinned my body against the bumper of a truck. As I looked into Edward's concerned green eyes and felt his strong arms holding me to his body, I felt safer in that moment than I'd felt in my entire life. One of us was shaking, but our bodies were pressed so tightly together that I couldn't tell if it was him or me.

"Bella, are you all right?" came Edward's soft voice in my ear.

Unable to trust my own voice, I just nodded.

I became aware that a crowd was gathering around us, and I scrambled to get to my feet as Edward helped me up from the cold, wet pavement. Alice was beside us in an instant, looking back and forth between Edward's face and mine.

"What just happened?" I asked, confused and disoriented.

"The van was going to hit you, and Edward pulled you out of the way," Alice explained softly, her voice shaking.

Turning to Edward, I said, "You saved my life. Thank you."

The tender expression was gone from his face. It was replaced by a tense, angry look, and Edward's fists were balled at his sides. "If you weren't so self-involved, you might actually be aware of what is happening around you, and I wouldn't need to save your life," he spat.

My mouth gaped open in shock at his vicious words. I wanted to come up with cutting remark to hurt him as badly as he'd just hurt me, but I was speechless. I'd been blindsided—it was as if Edward had just accomplished what the minivan had been unable to.

"What?" was all I could manage to say before my eyes welled up with tears that spilled down my cheeks. Edward spun on his heels, storming away to his Volvo and leaving me, shocked and crying, in the rain.

"I'm so sorry," Alice spoke. She looked every bit as appalled as I felt. Alice stood with me quietly, holding my hand until my dad arrived in the police cruiser to take me to the hospital. I'd refused an ambulance ride (since nothing had actually touched me, apart from Edward) but I still needed to be checked out by a doctor. Tyler had been driving the minivan, and the EMTs insisted on transporting him to the hospital via ambulance.

Charlie didn't say much, but his face was so red it was almost purple, and I knew he was terrified by the close call. He didn't have any good means for dealing with such emotions, so he just sat there looking purple and threatening to revoke Tyler's license. When we arrived at the ER, I was ushered to a curtained area to await the attending physician. After a short wait, I was greeted warmly by the second most beautiful man I'd ever seen. He introduced himself as Dr. Carlisle Cullen, and even though I knew he wasn't biologically related to Edward, I could almost see a family resemblance. He had pale blonde hair and clear blue eyes, but something in the intensity of his eyes or the confident set of his jaw reminded me of Edward.

"So I heard you had a near-miss in the parking lot, Miss Swan," Dr. Cullen said seriously.

"Yes. A van was sliding towards me on the slick pavement and, um, Edward pulled me out of the way. He saved my life," I explained, trying not to cry again.

"Your son, Edward?" Charlie asked, and Dr. Cullen nodded.

"You're very lucky he was there," Dr. Cullen noted gravely.

He examined my head and neck and asked me a few questions, and before long I was free to go.

Exhausted, confused, and hurt, I went directly to bed when we got home, assuring Charlie that I just needed to sleep it off. As soon as my head hit the pillow, the sobs that I'd been trying to contain all afternoon came rolling out. I cried for myself and how scared I'd been at that last second when I thought my life was over. I cried for my parents and for what they would have gone through if the van had killed me. I cried about Edward and the way he'd treated me in the parking lot.

_Why had he saved me, if he was just going to regret it afterwards? How could he hate me so much that he would scream at me only seconds after I'd almost been killed? Didn't he care that I was already terrified?_

The only possible sense that I could make of the whole ordeal was that Edward must have acted on instinct to pull me out of the way. Once he realized who it was that he'd saved, he regretted putting his own life in danger. He must have lashed out in anger, both at me for needing to be rescued and at himself for being stupid enough to jump in front of a minivan to save me. Even though he obviously regretted the whole thing, I couldn't forget the overwhelming sense of security that I felt for the brief moment when he held me in his arms. For the first time in my life, I felt truly safe, like he wouldn't let anything hurt me. How ironic it was that he had hurt me so badly with his words.

Just as I was about to go to sleep, tear-stained and exhausted, my cell phone rang. It was an unknown number. Wondering if the call was somehow related to the accident this afternoon, I put the phone to my ear. "Hello?"

"Hello, Bella." The silken voice had a quiet, menacing quality that sent shivers up my spine. "Are you enjoying the rain?"

_Holy fuck. He knows where I am._

"What do you want, James? You know you aren't supposed to call me," I spoke firmly, trying to keep the fear from creeping into my voice as I began to panic.

"I just wanted to remind you, in case you've forgotten, that you belong to me." The soft, composed tones of his voice escalated into a growl.

Unwilling to play his game, I reminded him of the terms of the restraining order. "James, you are not legally allowed to come anywhere near me or to contact me. If you try to call me again, I'm going to inform the police. I'm hanging up the phone now."

"Goodbye, Bella, my dear. I'll see you soon," he said, before disconnecting the call.

The thinly-veiled threats that laced his words haunted my dreams.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5 – Whiplash**

I awoke from a fitful sleep before my alarm went off. By the time my eyes adjusted to the grey-green light of the early morning, a pervasive feeling of isolation had settled over me. My eyes stung, irritated from the salt of last night's tears, and blinking felt like dragging sheets of sandpaper across my corneas.

Stumbling to the bathroom, I was startled when I caught sight of myself in the mirror; my skin looked blotchy and my eyes were red-rimmed and puffy. _Cute._ I splashed some cold water on my face, but it didn't help. _Fuck it._ I pulled on a zip-up hoodie, hoping to hide in its big, fur-lined hood for most of the day.

Even the drive to school did little to lift my spirits. I had hoped that a new day would provide me with a fresh perspective on matters, but I felt no better than I had last night. I was hurt and confused by Edward's actions, more than a little traumatized by my near-death experience, and now (to top it all off) I was looking over my shoulder at every turn, waiting for James to pop out from behind a shrub and make good on his promise to "see me soon".

Most of the time I tried not to think about James, but the idea of him following me here was terrifying. To be honest, even when we were dating he scared me a little at times, mostly because I truly had no idea what he was capable of. He was usually sweet and charming, but every now and then my intuition would flicker and I'd get a glimpse of the dangerous edge to his personality. I could never fully shake the feeling that he was a hunter and I was his prey. Maybe that's why it was an easy decision to break it off with him—I was never one hundred percent comfortable around him in the first place. Unfortunately, he didn't agree with my decision, to put it mildly. _The end result? I have my very own possessive, psychotic stalker with rage issues and a profound inability to move on._

When I reached the school, I parked as far away from the silver Volvo as possible. Edward was there, leaning against his car, and from a distance it looked like he was watching me. I pulled my hood up, desperately trying to hide. Doing my best to ignore him, I fixed my gaze on the glass doors of the building as I walked across the parking lot. I winced involuntarily as I passed the site of yesterday's accident. Shards of glass still covered the blacktop where Tyler's minivan had collided with the back corner of the truck. _That was a close call. Way too close._

Shaken, scared, and trying to shut out the world, I put in my earbuds and dialed up the volume on my iPod. The song was Radiohead's Paranoid Android, and it seemed to fit my dark mood. I'm not a big believer in the concepts of fate or destiny, but as I rifled numbly through my locker I found myself wondering if maybe the van was _supposed_ to crush me. _What if Edward interfered with my fate by pushing me out of the way? Perhaps I was never meant to make it to my eighteenth birthday. If so, what happens now that I'm still alive? Does everything somehow reset itself, or does fate try to finish what it started? Was it a coincidence that James chose last night to force his presence back into my life?_ I shuddered at the thought.

Closing my locker door, I was turning to walk to Lit class when a strong hand closed around my shoulder. _Oh, no, James!_ Terrified, I let out a choked scream and whirled around to face the person behind me. I blanched as I realized it had been Edward's hand on my shoulder. Obviously startled, he held the offending hand up in the air to show me that he wouldn't touch me anymore. Secretly, I wished that he would. For some sick reason, Edward's touch made me feel safe and protected. Looking into his emerald eyes, my fear subsided. _He must think I'm completely fucking nuts._

"I'm sorry for scaring you, Bella," he began softly, as though speaking to a frightened child. "I actually came to apologize for last night; I acted like an insensitive prick, and I am truly sorry."

_I couldn't believe my ears._

"You know, your mood swings are starting to give me whiplash. Just… No," I sputtered angrily. "Apology _not_ accepted. You can take your insincere apologies and your arrogant attitude and your stupid dad-car and shove them up your ass!"

With that, I spun on my heels and stomped to class, feeling somewhat liberated by my description of that anatomically impossible act.

"Wait, please," he said, following me. "I know my behavior to this point has been reproachable. It's just that… well…"

"Spit it out, Cullen," I demanded.

"We shouldn't be friends, Bella—" he began, but I interrupted him because I didn't want to hear it.

"You could have told me that before! Why didn't you just let the van crush me and save yourself the trouble?"

Edward stilled instantly, glowering at me. "You think I regret saving you, Bella?" he asked in a quiet tone.

"I know you do," I responded, just as softly.

"You don't know anything!" he growled furiously.

We entered the classroom to find that most of the students were already seated, and everyone looked up with apparent interest as Edward followed me into the room.

_This conversation ends now._

"Yes, Edward, they're real," I spoke loudly over my shoulder, "and no, you _still _can't touch them!"

As laughter erupted throughout the room, Edward's face turned bright red in anger and embarrassment. He sat, fuming, for the rest of the period. I wanted to gloat internally about finally getting a rise out of him, but I felt so miserable that I couldn't even bring myself to do it.

In Trig, I noticed Alice peering at me over her shoulder, a concerned look straining her pretty face. I pursed my lips and nodded to her in what I hoped looked like an expression of reassurance. It felt more like a grimace. _Great. Nothing says "I'm fine" like a nice, reassuring grimace._

The hallways were abuzz with chatter about yesterday's accident, and though people kept pressing me to tell the story, I didn't exactly feel like talking about it. Finally relenting, I gave everyone at my lunch table the shortest, least-exciting possible version of the incident.

"Tyler's van spun out on the wet pavement, and it was going to hit me but Edward pushed me out of the way," I explained. "The van crashed into the back of the truck right where I'd been standing. That's the whole story."

"But I heard Cullen pulled some kind of a Superman move and actually held the van off you with his bare hands!" a guy named Ben interjected excitedly.

Rather than dignifying his ridiculous statement with a response, I just cocked an eyebrow and stared at him, waiting.

"I mean, of course that's stupid, but I just thought… well, sometimes you hear about that kind of thing… maybe an adrenaline rush…" He trailed off.

Choosing to ignore Ben altogether, Lauren piped up. "Bella, that's not exactly the _whole_ story. You're forgetting the best part," she said with a smirk.

"You mean the part where Edward totally lost it afterwards and screamed at Bella for not getting out of the way?" Jessica blurted.

Lauren nodded, still wearing a smug little smirk. _I'd like to wipe it off her face with my fist._

"He must just, like, completely hate you!" Jessica added, giggling slightly as she turned to me.

_Ouch._

"Poor Bella, does it bother you that Edward hates you?" Lauren asked, giving me an unconvincing look of sympathy. "I mean, you totally look like shit today, and I'm not the only one who noticed. You've obviously been crying."

I involuntarily glanced over at Edward, who immediately met my gaze, to my great embarrassment. He looked for a moment like he might come over to the table, but he thought better of it and sat down. I was relieved because I was sure that whatever he had to say, I didn't want to hear it.

"I wasn't crying about that. Just some other stuff," I protested weakly, tugging at my hood.

Lauren and Jess rolled their eyes in obvious disbelief. There were so many things that I could have said to Lauren at that moment to make her wish she'd never opened her mouth, but I said nothing. For the first time in a long time, I just didn't care enough to stand up for myself. Feeling miserable and defeated, I went to the nurse's office to finagle my way out of going to my afternoon classes. I told the nurse that I was still shaken up about yesterday's accident. With one look at my puffy, red-rimmed eyes and slumped shoulders, she wrote the out the note and handed it to me.

Driving home, I felt marginally better. I was mostly relieved that I wouldn't have to face Edward again in Biology.

Angela was still at work, and I didn't want to freak Renee out, but I needed to talk to someone. I didn't know who else to call, so as soon as it was late enough for school to be out I called Jacob. He answered on the second ring.

"Jake's house of tantric love," Jacob spoke in a low, seductive voice.

"Eew, what?" I asked, surprised, and giggled despite myself.

"Bella, is that you?" he asked, laughing loudly.

"Uh, yeah, it's me. I was trying to reach my friend and I seem to have gotten some perverted hotline instead," I teased.

"Sorry, Bells. I thought you were Embry," he admitted.

"That might actually be worse, Jake."

"Yeah, I guess you're right," he agreed. "So, what's up, B? Did you call for a little tantric lovin' and a _whole lot_ of Jake?" he teased suggestively.

My mouth temporarily dropped open. _Where did he get his confidence? He used to be such a shy little boy. _

I recovered quickly.

"Tantra? Yeah, right. You'd be done in like eight seconds flat," I quipped.

"Maybe, but it would be the best eight seconds of your life," he retorted.

I couldn't help but collapse with laughter. _It's strange how Jake's cockiness is endearing, but Edward's infuriates me._

"Actually, how about a little innocent companionship and a big brown shoulder to cry on?" I asked earnestly.

"Bell, these shoulders are always yours whenever you need them," he replied, his jocular tone turning serious. "What's the matter?"

"I don't really think I can talk about it over the phone," I sighed.

"Okay. I'll be there in ten minutes," he said, and immediately hung up the phone.

I wondered how he was going to get to my house without a car or a driver's license.

Nine minutes later, I got the answer as Jake pulled into the driveway on a shiny black motorcycle. I bounded out of the house to greet him. Just seeing Jacob's shaggy hair and wide, goofy grin made me feel better, and I met him with a big hug. I caught a glint of silver out of the corner of my eye as a car passed on the road. _Fuck, now every silver car I see reminds me of that asslick and his Volvo._

"Jake! I can't believe you drove that thing here without a license," I squealed, pointing to the bike. "You _do_ realize that Charlie is the Chief of Police, right? He's a serious dude. Friend of the family or not, if he catches you he'll have your nuts in a vice."

"Yeah, you're right," he shrugged, as if the thought had never even occurred to him. "Let's put the bike around back."

When he picked up the motorcycle easily with one arm, I couldn't stop my mouth from dropping open in surprise. He must have seen my startled look, because he picked me up around the waist just as easily and tucked me under his other arm.

"Jake!" I screeched as another stupid silver car passed the house in my peripheral vision. _Fucking color must be popular._ "Put me down, you big ape!"

Ignoring my struggles and complaints, Jake swung around haphazardly, bike under one arm and me under the other.

"Let's see… Where should I put this stuff?" he wondered aloud, teasing me.

Finally, he carried us around the back of the house, resting the motorcycle on its kickstand and setting me on my feet beside it. As soon as I was free, I began my lighthearted rant.

"Don't manhandle me, you beast! Obviously you're enjoying that stage in a boy's life where his body is grossly overdeveloped and his brain is _tragically underdeveloped_."

"And what an enjoyable stage it is," he agreed good-naturedly.

Giggling like kindergartners, we went into the house and took a seat on the couch.

"So, B, are you going to tell me what's on your mind?"

Sighing, I finally let out everything that had been bothering me. I told Jake about the bitchy girls at school, Edward and his bipolar behavior, the close-call with Tyler's minivan, and James's ominous phone call.

"Whoa, that's a lot of stuff to deal with," Jake said, his brows furrowed in concern. "It sounds like this James guy is bad news. I don't really know what else to say, except that I'll be here whenever you need me. If James ever comes looking for you, I'll _end_ him. You know I'm never more than a phone call away, right?"

I nodded, feeling better. It helped quite a bit just to talk to someone about the things that had been weighing on me so heavily.

"As for the Edward problem… Honestly, Bells, it seems to me that you can't figure out whether you want to beat the shit out of him or screw him senseless. If you decide on the former, I'd be happy to help, but if you go for the latter, you're on your own," he said with a wink.

I groaned and Jake laughed, pleased with my reaction.

"I'd better get going before Charlie gets home. If he sees me on the bike, he'll probably arrest my ass on the spot!" Jake said, standing up.

"Thanks for listening, Jake," I said as he wrapped me in a tight bear hug. "Too tight… can't… breathe…" I gasped. He just laughed and let me go.

"Later, Bells," he called over his shoulder, closing the front door behind him.

Though talking with Jacob helped to ease my mind, it didn't really solve the worst of my problems. In the event that James showed up behind me in a dark alley, I refused to wait helplessly for him to hunt me down for whatever twisted purpose he had in mind.

I was desperately seeking some shred of empowerment, so when Charlie got home, I asked him to help me practice the self-defense moves he'd taught me several years ago. What I didn't remember, I learned quickly, and when we ended the impromptu lesson I felt adequately prepared to defend myself. I may have left the Chief with a couple of bruises, but he suffered in silence. That's just our way, I suppose. He didn't even question my sudden interest in practicing, for which I was grateful.

The next morning I felt a little less vulnerable and a lot more like myself, though I was still somewhat jumpy. In the shower, I made up my mind that one day of wallowing in misery was enough. I was going to face the new day with fierce determination, if nothing else. Some things in life were just beyond my control: Edward was an insufferable asshole and James was one sick fuck, but I'll be damned if they were going to make me cower in fear and self-doubt.

To make up for my temporary lapse, I dressed to kill in a thin black sweater, grey pencil skirt, and sexy black heels. I blew my hair out until it was smooth and shiny as glass and put in a little extra time on my makeup.

At school, I blatantly ignored Edward, and it was easier today than it had been. I avoided his soul-piercing green eyes, because I knew that if I got ensnared in his gaze all would be lost. So, I resisted. I think he may have been looking at me a few times, but I didn't so much as glance over to find out. His recent behavior made it so much easier to resist him. As it turns out, being heartbreakingly beautiful can't make up for being certifiably insane.

With bigger issues on my mind, I went to lunch to set some things straight. After my poor performance yesterday, Lauren suddenly seemed to think that she could victimize me at her will and I wouldn't defend myself. _She is sorely mistaken._

As I took my usual seat, I could see an evil gleam in Lauren's eye, and I tried to keep a look of pleased anticipation off my face. Yesterday, I was the wounded gazelle, and she and Jessica attacked when they sensed my weakness. _Well, I licked my wounds and sharpened my teeth and today _I'm_ the predator, bitches. Like your worst fucking nightmare._

"Bella, you're looking much better today. No more crying your eyes out over Edward last night?" Lauren mocked.

I sneered at her, baring my teeth. Startled, she recoiled but didn't back down.

"I didn't realize it was such a touchy subject," she continued. "But, seriously, what did you expect? You think someone as rich and cultured and drop-dead gorgeous as him would actually slum it with the Police Chief's daughter?"

I saw red.

"For your information, Lauren, I wouldn't so much as _look_ at Edward Cullen again unless someone gave him a lobotomy followed by a personality transplant," I growled, leaning over the table towards her. "And if you ever speak _one word _about my father in my presence again, I will pry off every last one of your fake-ass fingernails and force you to eat them."

Lauren sat back in her chair, stunned. By her side, Jessica visibly retreated, rightfully worried that I'd feed her pieces of Lauren's manicure as well. Social dominance reestablished, I resumed eating my bagel as though nothing had happened. _I hate high school._

Over the next couple of weeks, things calmed back down into some semblance of normalcy. I immersed myself in my schoolwork, getting ahead in all my subjects, and I spent the rest of my time reading, cooking, and aimlessly driving around. I talked at length with Renee and Angela on the phone, and I kept up the house work.

Every day, I ignored Edward. Some days, it felt like I lived to ignore him. I didn't even look at him, and eventually he stopped looking at me, too. I was always aware of where he was, like his body had some sort of magnetic draw on mine, but I ignored that as well. I had erected a cold, hard veneer of indifference around my soul, and I would never let that strange, beautiful boy hurt me again. The thought was reassuring. He had never cared, and now I didn't care, either.

Our Biology lab partnership was a joke; it's impossible to do a lab with someone who you refuse to look at or speak to. We each did the work separately, and after awhile Mr. Banner just accepted that we weren't ever going to work together. Neither of us needed the help, so it didn't matter anyway.

Before I knew it, it was Jake's sixteenth birthday. As a gift, I got him the last part that he needed to finish his car. Actually, he picked it out it himself – some sort of exhaust manifold thingy – I just went along and paid for it. I put a bow on it, and the grey hunk of metal looked so ridiculous with a little pink bow that we both giggled all the way home.

Jake was so anxious to take out his newly-finished VW Rabbit that I thought he might burst with excitement. He promised to come over early and pick me up so that he could drive me to school the next day. He'd have to drive all the way back to his school on the reservation afterwards, but he swore it would be a great chance to road-test his new wheels.

The next day at 7:30 AM, the little red car was in my driveway, with Jake honking the horn and waving maniacally out the window. Laughing, I grabbed my bag and went outside. Getting up so early was really a stretch for me, but I wanted to dress nicely since it was a special occasion, and it was worth it to see the huge smile on Jake's excited face. I wore a thin white angora sweater with three-quarter sleeves and a pair of low-rise pinstriped charcoal slacks, and I put on my black sunglasses in protest of the nearly nonexistent sunlight.

In an uncharacteristic show of good manners, he sprung out of the car and around the passenger side to open my door. I lifted my sunglasses and peered at him quizzically from beneath them.

In response to my unasked question, Jake grinned. "Yeah, yeah, I'm not usually very gentlemanly, so don't get used to it. This is a special occasion."

"Maybe you should make it a habit," I teased. "With a license, a car, _and_ a set of manners, you could have girls lined up around the block!"

"Oh, I don't need manners for that. The first two will do just fine," he said with a wink.

"What, did you read somewhere that the whole heathen thing is popular with the ladies?" I asked, snorting as we broke into uncontrollable laughter.

Just then, we pulled into the student parking lot. At this early hour, there were only a handful of cars in the lot, and it didn't escape my notice that a silver Volvo was one of them.

Jake pulled up to the front door of the school, and again he hopped out of the car and came around to open the passenger door. He extended a huge, warm hand to help me from the car, and we both laughed at how absurd it felt.

"You know, this polite, mannerly Jake is kind of weirding me out," I commented. "I think I like Jake the Cretin better."

"Yeah, me too," he agreed. "Next time, I'm just slowing down to a coast and pushing your ass out the door with my foot."

He swept me up into one of his signature bone-crushing hugs, then walked back around and climbed in the driver's side.

"Happy birthday, Jake," I called as he pulled away.

"Thanks, B!" he hollered back.

With time to kill until first period, I sat my backpack down on the sidewalk and dug through it for a paperback. Finding a well-worn copy of _Pride and Prejudice_, I thought I'd sit in the Lit classroom and read a chapter or two. I turned around to enter the school building, coming practically nose-to-nose with the absolute last person I wanted to see: Edward Fucking Cullen.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6 – Fallen Angel**

"Bella," he spoke and his warm breath fanned out over my face. It had sweetest scent that I'd ever experienced, and I was nearly intoxicated as I inhaled, drinking it in. My eyes lost focus and my heart fluttered. All I could see was sparkling green, and it was the most beautiful color I could have imagined. My knees must have buckled, because suddenly the world shifted and Edward caught me lightly with his arms.

"Jesus, Bella. What's going on with you?" he asked, his brows furrowed in concern.

"I'm fine. I've just had a lot of to deal with lately, and I guess I'm a little out of it," I replied breathlessly, biting my lower lip. _God, he's so beautiful._

As if he couldn't help himself, he raised his fingers to stroke the skin of my cheekbone. I wanted to slap his hand away, but my body refused to comply. Instead, I closed my eyes and sighed at his caress, my skin tingling where his fingers trailed along it. Even as my mind screamed in protest, I never wanted him to stop touching me.

"I must be partly responsible for that. I can't tell you how sorry I am," Edward said, his eyes burning with intensity.

His words cut through the thick, hazy fog enveloping my mind. _He _is_ partly responsible for my current state. I've been ignoring him for the past few weeks for the sake of self-preservation. Now, here I stand in his arms, letting him fuck with my head again._ I immediately stepped back, pulling out of his grip.

"Since when do you give a shit? Just leave me alone, Edward." The wavering of my voice belied my adamant words.

"I've tried, Bella," he replied, "but I can't. I'm not strong enough to stay away from you." I could read the sincerity and pain in his eyes, and they ignited my soul.

My eyes filled with unwelcome tears. "Why are you doing this to me? Nothing you do or say makes any sense, and I just can't deal with it."

He stepped towards me again, and his scent was sweet cinnamon and rainwater and heaven, and unwelcome tears broke free and rolled down my cheeks at the beauty of it. Fighting my own instincts, I took another step back.

"Please, Edward," I pleaded with him. "What do you want from me?"

His eyes flickered with what might have been hope. "A chance, that's all I ask. Just one date, and I promise to tell you anything you want to know."

"But why, Edward?" I asked, frustrated. "This doesn't make any sense. Why here, why now?"

"All I need is one chance, and I will explain everything," he replied, avoiding my question.

I shook my head. "I can't do this anymore. You're out of chances." I turned and walked away before I changed my mind. The cool breeze hit my face and cleared the fog from my mind, and I knew it was the right decision. I would never let Edward Cullen hurt me again.

I practically jogged to Lit class, even though I was still a little early. My head was humming with a discordant mixture of thoughts and feelings, but I couldn't decide whether to tune them out or go lock myself in a quiet bathroom stall and think them through. I could still feel the slight tingle on my face where Edward had touched me, and I could almost smell his sweet, indescribable scent.

When he walked into the classroom to take his seat, all messy hair and crooked smile and beautiful, it was almost my undoing. I was afraid of being dazed by his smell again, so I held my breath. That lasted for all of about twenty seconds, until I realized that I could just breathe through my mouth instead. I refused to breathe through my nose for the rest of the period, and when the bell finally rang, I sprang up out of my chair and got the hell out of Dodge.

I busied myself with taking notes until lunchtime, at which point I sequestered myself in my favorite stall of the downstairs ladies' restroom. Locking the door, I rested my elbows on my knees and finally allowed this morning's events to replay in my head. _Edward wants to go on a date with me?_ I couldn't help but thrill to the idea, but I didn't allow myself to enjoy it for long. _It's never going to happen! I don't date anymore, and even if I did, that boy is nothing but trouble. _

However, the opportunity to finally get some answers about Edward's cryptic behavior was almost impossible to resist. By the time I had to go to my locker and gather my things for Biology, I was no closer to sorting out my thoughts about the matter than I had been this morning. Reaching into my locker for a notebook, I found a heavy piece of cardstock resting on top of my books. It was a note, written in black ink in a perfect block script.

_**One date is all I ask.**_

_**- EC**_

With the note in my hand, I shut my locker and leaned against it, closing my eyes. _I can't believe this is happening. That boy is going to be the death of me._ I walked to Biology with my heart fluttering and my pulse pounding in my ears because I had absolutely no idea what I was going to do.

Of course he was there, sitting at our shared table looking more like a Greek god than any man should. I couldn't help but sway my hips as I walked toward him. _Don't picture him naked, don't picture him naked, stop picturing him naked._ His sparkling eyes raked shamelessly over my body as I approached, starting with my eyes and roaming all the way to my glossy pink toes poking out my peep-toe heels. I found myself blushing, but I returned the favor.

My gaze wandered slowly from his unkempt tangle of bronze hair, down the straight line of his perfect nose, over his full pink lips, and across the muscular expanse of his chest. He was sitting casually with his bent knees spread far apart, and my eyes roamed down his flat stomach to the button fly of his jeans. Catching my stare, he laughed, but I didn't let myself blush.

As I sat down in my seat, I turned to face him, cocking one eyebrow in a wordless challenge.

"You like what you see, Swan?" he teased, his voice like smooth velvet.

I shrugged noncommittally in response, earning another laugh from Edward. _I like it more than you'll ever know, buddy._

"So how about that date? I'm free on Saturday night…" he prodded confidently. Not trusting my voice, I quickly shook my head, examining my French-manicured nails carefully as I avoided looking at him.

I heard someone choke at a nearby table, and shocked gasps escaped from several people around us. Edward paid no attention to the eavesdroppers, extending a long finger under my chin and tilting my face up so that I was forced to look at him. His green gaze smoldered, and his pouty lips stretched into the sexiest half-smile I'd ever seen.

My eyes widened and my breath caught in my throat. Everyone else in the room faded and it was just Edward and me. I had to inhale before I passed out, so I drew in one deep, shuddering breath. His sweet fragrance assaulted my senses, clouding my brain and blurring my thoughts. He leaned in closer to my face, and a warm tingling sensation started in my stomach and pooled between my legs.

"How about I pick you up at seven?" he crooned in a low whisper.

"I, uh – " I began, but I stumbled over the words. My brain screamed "no" but I wanted so badly to say yes. I could deny him nothing when he looked at me like that.

His crooked smile widened as he sensed my impending surrender. His molten green eyes flashed with primal victory, and I blinked.

_Wait a minute. Victory? Over my cold, dead body._

Gathering every ounce of strength I had, I broke free from his mesmerizing gaze, shaking my head to clear it. Finally finding my voice, I said, "No means no, Edward. Now quit creeping on me."

He sat back in his chair defeatedly, the air leaving his lungs with a whoosh. The look on his face was one of stunned confusion. _Obviously, this man has never been turned down in his entire life._ He pouted quietly for the rest of the hour, and I cheered internally in silent victory. _Ha! If I can resist _that_, I can do anything!!_

Pleased with myself and feeling great, I actually returned a serve in volleyball that afternoon. Both teams stared at me in slack-jawed amazement. "What?" I asked, knowing damn well what they were surprised about. _Maybe my skills on the court are proportional to my mood, because right now I'm feeling fan-fucking-tastic._

My good mood lasted until I was halfway across the parking lot. It was then that I spotted him, looking every bit like a fallen angel, leaning up against the side of my Audi with his arms crossed. His pale ivory skin stood out in striking contrast to the glossy black finish of the car, and the sheer beauty made my breath quicken.

As I approached, Edward's angular jaw tightened in determination. "One date, please, Bella," he said. It sounded more like a statement than a question.

I remembered the disdainful looks he gave me on his first day and the way he'd yelled at me when I needed him, leaving me crying and alone in the parking lot after the accident.

I walked toward him until I was mere inches away and I could feel the heat radiating off of his hard body onto my skin. Leaning in so close that my lips grazed his earlobe, I whispered my response in his ear. "Get your ass off my car."

He silently stepped aside, so I pulled the door open and climbed in. When I reached the highway, he was still standing there, looking after me as I drove away. I turned on the radio to distract myself during the drive home. Kanye West was singing Heartless, and I furrowed my eyebrows because the appropriateness of the song selection was not lost on me.

As soon as I got home, I took the stairs two at a time up to my bedroom where I collapsed face down on the bed. I was exhausted. Resisting Edward Cullen all day had taken every last ounce of my strength, and I had none left. _Why doesn't he stop trying? What if I don't want him to stop trying?_ I was fairly sure that if he dazzled me again, my weakened resolve would buckle. _Do I want it to buckle? _

_Do I want to go on a date with Edward? Make it three dates, more like it. That's the rule, right, three dates before it's socially acceptable to have sex?_

I was just kidding myself, of course. _But why would I want to date him?_ From what I could tell, he didn't have a single redeeming personality trait. _Because being mind-numbingly gorgeous doesn't count as a personality trait. _And yet, somehow I was undeniably drawn to him. I got the feeling that under that beautiful, cocky exterior there was something beautiful inside, too. _But I'll never know, because he won't stop acting like an arrogant dickhead. Or would he? What if he opened up to me, like he started to that one day in Biology? _I trembled at the thought.

I did what any mature, levelheaded young woman does when she has a boy-related dilemma: I called my mom. Renee and I had always been able to talk comfortably about sex and relationships. She was an open, free-spirited woman and over the years I'd heard quite a bit more about her sex life than I'd really wanted to. She was actually more liberal than I, so it made for an unconventional mother-daughter dynamic.

I dialed the number on my cell phone, and she answered on the third ring. "Hi, sweetie!" she squealed.

"Hi, Mom," I answered, frustration apparent in my voice.

"What's wrong, Isabella? Is everything okay?" Renee asked.

"It's just… there's a boy," I began.

"A boy? I knew it!" she replied excitedly. "So, what's he like?"

"He's the most gorgeous human being I've ever seen. And he's a total asshole," I confided.

"Hmm," she said, waiting for me to continue.

"He's arrogant and horrible and all-wrong, but for some sick reason I'm drawn to him anyway. And I'm not sure if I'm really drawn to _him_ or just how he looks."

"I see," she said thoughtfully.

"He asked me on a date today, Mom. And I really, _really_ wanted to say yes, but he's been a total jerk to me since he moved here. Well, except when he saved me from being crushed under a minivan. But he went right back to being a jerk immediately afterward," I babbled. "I'm so confused! And that's not even taking into consideration my self-imposed dating ban…" I trailed off, burying my head in a pile of pillows.

"Ah, so this is the minivan hero guy?" After pausing for a few moments to think it over, Renee came to a decision. "I think you should go for it, baby," she said simply.

I was shocked. "But, why, Mom?"

"Well, you're only young once, and what harm is one date? You aren't promising him your hand in marriage! If he's a total ass, then that will be that and you'll never have to speak to him again. And if he's as great as you suspect he might be under all the attitude, then maybe he can make you happy," she said confidently.

"That's good advice," I admitted. "But what if he's _too_ great and I get all wrapped up in him and forget all about my schoolwork and Dartmouth and everything that's important to me?"

"Dear, isn't it a little premature for you to be worrying about that, since he still has the 'gorgeous asshole' status?"

"Yeah, I guess you're right," I sighed. "Part of me is scared, too. I'm a little afraid that I'll find out that he's just a total douche bag. That would ruin the fantasy that there's something more to him."

"I think that's a risk you're just going to have to take. Besides, even if his personality sucks, it could still be fun. If he's as flawless as you say he is, then you could at least enjoy his body," she commented seriously.

"Mo-om!" I practically yelled into the phone, rolling my eyes.

"What?" she asked defensively. "You're going to have to give it up sometime, so why not to the most perfect male specimen you've ever seen?"

I groaned but didn't argue. The "it" she was referring to was my virginity, and I was suddenly anxious to end the conversation. "Okay, Mom, thanks for the advice."

"You're welcome, Bella. I hope it helps. I love you, sweetie."

"I love you too, Mom," I said, ending the call.

I was lost in thought for the rest of the evening, but Charlie didn't seem to notice. By the time I went to bed my mind was still racing, but about three things I was absolutely positive. First, Edward was hot enough to make a woman's panties drop from fifty yards away. Second, he was in need of some sort of medication. Third, when it came to resisting him, I was totally fucked.

When I woke up the next morning, I knew what I needed to do.

Picking out clothes for the day was harder than usual. _What do you wear when you're going to ask Edward Cullen out on a date?!_ Technically, I wasn't so much asking him on a date as agreeing to go on a date with him, but the ball was in my court now and I was really feeling the pressure. I settled on distressed indigo jeans with a slim navy blue top and a pair of diamond stud earrings. I wore my hair down in loose, soft waves and I applied mascara and sparkly pink lip gloss as the finishing touches.

I was overflowing with nervous excitement on the short drive to school. I couldn't believe that I was actually going to accept his offer to go on a date. _Hell has officially frozen over._ My hand tapped anxiously against the steering wheel as I sang along with the radio. By the time Rihanna and I had crooned the final words to Umbrella, I was parked in the school lot, unwilling to get out of my car. _Get out of the car and face him, you pathetic little puss._

A little internal trash talk was just the motivation I needed, and I slid out of the leather seat with as much confidence as I could muster. My plan was to track Edward down in the hallway before first period and tell him my schedule for Saturday night had opened up. As I stalked the already-crowded hallway looking for him, I felt a pleasant rush of adrenaline course through my veins. _ This could be fun._

Then I spotted him. The unusual bronze color of his untidy hair was easy to pick out, especially since he stood nearly a head taller than most everyone. I felt the corners of my mouth turn up into a smile as I pointed my body in his direction. I finally caught sight of his face through the crowd, but my smile faded as I took in his expression. His jaw was clenched tightly and his eyebrows were furrowed in what looked like anger or frustration. _Great._ _He must be in one of his moods. Maybe I can fix that…_

I positioned myself so that Edward would have to walk right by me. As he passed, I got his attention by reaching out to lightly brush his arm. His head snapped towards me, and I looked up at him from under my eyelashes.

"Hey, Edward— " I began softly, but my words were cut off by his murderous glare. The contempt in his eyes stung like a slap to the face, and I recoiled instinctively. He held my gaze for an instant and then he looked away dismissively, scanning the crowd above my head. Without even pausing, he continued on his way down the hall. _Ouch._

I just stood there, stunned. _Déjà fucking vu._ Fantastic though his ass was, I was getting really sick of watching him walk away from me. Maybe I've toughened up, because the tears never came.

Edward didn't show up to our Lit class, but my mind was on him the whole time. _Where is he? Did he go home? Okay, so he doesn't handle rejection well—I get that. I would probably be a little pissy if someone turned me down, too. But the look he just gave me did not say 'I'm a little pissy.' It said 'I'm going to murder you while you're sleeping.' And I'm pretty sure I didn't deserve that._

I saw Alice Cullen in Trig, but I didn't get a chance to speak. I wasn't sure what I'd have said, anyway. _Hey, do you mind telling me why your brother is acting like a psycho? _I doubt that would have been warmly received…

I went to lunch, still perplexed by Edward's behavior. My heart skipped a beat when I realized that he was there in the cafeteria, sitting at his usual table. Even surrounded by his gorgeous siblings, he was breathtaking, but the look on his face fractured my heart. He wore an expression of utter despair, and my gut reaction was to go to him and comfort him.

As though he felt my eyes on him, Edward looked up to meet my gaze. He immediately rearranged his features into a look of disgust, but it was too late. I had seen the truth, and for the second time that day I knew exactly what I needed to do. Taking a deep breath, I started walking across the cafeteria to the Cullens' table.

As I passed my usual lunch table, I heard Jessica's high pitched whine. "Bel-la! Where are you going? I saved you a seat…" I ignored her for the moment, because I was on a mission.

Proverbial nuts in my throat, I strode up to the most intimidating group of people I'd ever seen. Edward watched my approach, and if looks could kill, I'd be cold and stiff. I stood there for a second in awkward silence with five pairs of perfectly-shaped eyes trained on me. _Maybe this was a bad idea._ The huge one looked mildly amused, and his girlfriend the flawless blonde was shooting me death looks that rivaled her brother's. The tall blonde guy looked constipated as usual, but when I looked at Alice, the tiny pixie gave me a smile of encouragement.

I smiled back. "Hi, Alice," I ventured.

"Hello, Bella," she responded, as if it were the most natural thing in the world.

"Edward?" I questioned. He just looked at me, his gaze cold and disinterested. _Well, it looks like this is going to be a one-sided conversation. Awesome._

"I thought about your offer, and if it still stands, I'd like to take you up on it. Saturday night at seven sounds perfect."

His eyes widened briefly before he could control his expression. _Gotcha._

"However," I continued, "I have two conditions. First of all, it's not a date. I don't date. Also… I get to drive." With that, I turned slowly on my heels.

A low growl erupted from behind me. It might have been a statement, so I turned back around to investigate. "What was that?" I asked lightly.

Edward repeated his words through tightly clenched teeth. "I. Drive."

"Oh, look, he speaks," I said condescendingly. "I only have two conditions, and that's one of them. Think about it and get back to me."

At that point, Edward's whole table (barring Edward, of course) erupted into laughter. Even the gorgeous blonde girl couldn't keep the corners of her mouth from turning up. Giving Alice a wink, I turned and walked away.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7 - Revelations**

I didn't have to answer any questions about where I'd been, because my entire lunch table (and the rest of the cafeteria, from what I could tell) had been gawking at me, open-mouthed, the entire time.

Jessica started in on me before I could even take my seat. "Ohmygod! I can't _believe_ you went over and talked to them! What did you say? What did they say? Edward looked so pissed!" she blurted.

I knew that if I didn't answer, she'd just hear (and spread) a potentially distorted version of events. So, I rolled my eyes and tried to address each of her questions. "Let's see. Yes, I did go over and talk to them. I told Edward that I decided I would take him up on his offer to go to dinner, but it's not a date and I have to drive. He disagreed about the driving thing. And, yes, he looks pissed. I guess the permanent scowl is just part of his charm."

Jess was shocked, Lauren was jealous, and I was just relieved, because the bell rang before their cross-examination could begin.

I was still so high from the adrenaline rush that I'd experienced when I approached Edward (and his entire family) that I didn't even pause to think about the fact that I was going to have to sit a mere foot away from him for the next hour.

When I walked into the Biology classroom, Edward was already seated at our table. He looked pleased, a little sheepish, and sexy as hell. _Gulp._ When I recovered control of my extremities, I took a seat beside him.

He turned to me and gave me a crooked smile that made my knees weak, and I was grateful that I was sitting down.

"So, Bella," he began in a velvet tone, "where would you like to go to dinner?"

"We're going to dinner? Judging by your earlier reaction, I didn't figure there was any way that you'd agree," I said, feigning surprise.

"I have agreed to nothing. However, I'd like to counter your offer."

"I have _offered_ nothing," I replied, imitating his precise articulation. "I will drive. That is a non-negotiable condition."

"I'm certainly not proposing that we take my Volvo; I just thought that perhaps you might like to see my _other_ car," Edward said with a smirk.

I couldn't help but react to that, because now that he'd mentioned it I was _very_ interested in seeing his other car. "You have another car?" I asked, failing to conceal my curiosity.

"Yes. It's a steel grey…" as he spoke he leaned in closer to me, and my skin tingled with electricity, "520-horsepower…" he leaned in close enough that his nose almost skimmed my ear, "Aston Martin Vanquish."

Edward's sweet breath flooded my senses, and for a moment my vision blurred. I shivered uncontrollably and I was certain that my eyes reflected wanton need. _I have to ride in that car. With him._ Between his words, his scent, and the proximity of his lips to my ear, I was temporarily stunned. He dazzled me; there was no other way to describe it.

He spoke softly into my ear. "Bella? Would you like to ride with me to dinner on Saturday night?"

"Yes," I breathed, automatically. I could deny him nothing in that instant. _Yes, I'll ride with you; yes, I'll marry you; yes, yes, yes._

Edward immediately straightened, pulling away from me, and his manner changed from soft and dreamy to crisp and businesslike as if he had flipped a switch.

"Good. I'm glad that's been resolved," he said brusquely, but his eyes betrayed his amusement.

_Shit. I've been had._ It should have bothered me more, but I still felt somewhat dazzled.

"Now where would you like to go for dinner?" His expression was smug.

"Uh, I'm not picky," I responded truthfully.

"Very well. I'll pick something, then."

My head began to clear, and I fully realized what had happened. Disappointed, I resorted to pouting. My eyes wide and pleading, I stuck out my lower lip and gazed up at Edward meaningfully. "But… I wanted to drive."

His smug expression faltered. _Aha!_

"Would it make it better if I told you that you could drive on our second date?" he asked, visibly disconcerted. I gloated internally at how easily he had succumbed to my pouty-face.

"I suppose so," I conceded. "It's just that I love to drive. I guess I kind of enjoy the feeling of being in control."

"I have no problem with submitting to the will of a beautiful woman," he responded, his green eyes sparkling with amusement.

My mind was suddenly flooded with visions of Edward lying back on my bed, his chest bare. Straddling his abdomen, I held his wrists above his head and used my mouth to… _Whoa. Must think unsexy thoughts! Baseball. Beef stroganoff. Mike Newton._

I felt the hot blood rush to my cheeks, and I wanted to crawl into a hole and hide. I attempted to obscure my face behind my thick hair, but Edward wouldn't have it. He gently tucked the strands behind my ear and examined my face.

"Your blush is really quite stunning," he mused. "Now tell me, Bella, how far down does it go?"

_Aggh! He did _not_ just say that. _I pointedly ignored him, turning to face forward. _How far down _does _it go? _When I was confident that Edward had stopped paying attention, I hooked one finger into the neck of my thin top and took a careful peek down. To my surprise and embarrassment, the pink flush spread over my breasts and down the valley between them, nearly to my navel. I gasped and immediately released my finger from the shirt and, impossibly, I got even redder.

Somehow, he noticed. Still staring straight ahead, he mumbled, "That's what I thought—all the way down."

_He's messing with me!_ "As much as I'm enjoying this little game of see-how-red-Bella-can-get-before-her-head-explodes, I wish you'd shut the hell up so I can listen to the lecture," I snapped.

He chuckled softly, but remained silent for the rest of the class. As much as I wanted to come up with a snarky retort, I couldn't. I was too flustered. _You may have won the battle, but you haven't won the war._

Before I knew it, it was Saturday, and I had a date with Edward Motherfucking Cullen. I was so nervous that I was nearly beside myself. Charlie left early for his obligatory fishing trip, and I was on my own for the day. I needed a distraction, so I decided to call Alice on a whim. Even as I looked up the number I wasn't sure what I wanted to say to her, but I found myself dialing anyway.

"Hello?" her bell-like voice answered.

"Alice? Hi, it's Bella," I spoke, relieved that it was she who picked up the phone.

"Hi, Bella," she said, as though she'd been waiting to hear from me.

"Hey. I'm not sure if you've heard, but your brother and I are going on a date tonight," I said. I heard an odd noise on the line that sounded like a muffled squeal. I continued. "Actually, the reason I'm calling is… I'm not doing anything today, so I was wondering if maybe you wanted to come over and hang out for awhile, then help me get ready for my date?" My voice broke off towards the end of my spiel, and I figured that she had me pegged as totally insane.

"Oh, Bella, I'd love to!" Alice gushed. "I thought you'd never ask," she admitted.

_Huh?_ I shrugged it off. "Great. You can help me search through my closet for something to wear!"

"Absolutely," she enthused. "I'll be there in like 10 minutes."

"Okay, Alice. See you soon," I responded, ending the call.

Alice and I spent the afternoon together. We agreed on a black cocktail dress then accessorized it with dangly earrings, stiletto heels, and a silver clutch. The dress was simple and sophisticated, with an off-the-shoulder neckline. It was fitted to my curves and the hem fell just above the knee. Alice blew out my hair until it was smooth but still had some volume, and she even applied my makeup like a real pro.

I hugged her in thanks, and we spent the rest of the time laughing and talking until Edward came to get me. Alice was a relentless little ball of energy, and her enthusiasm for life was contagious. Her undeniable spark melded nicely with my mellow sarcasm, and we seemed to balance each other out. She spoke briefly of her boyfriend Jasper and I could almost feel the boundless love and devotion pouring out of her. I could only hope that someday I'd feel that strongly about someone.

Time seemed to pass quickly with Alice, and before I knew it, it was 6:58 PM. She hugged me goodbye and seemed to vanish into thin air. _I guess it's show time._ Edward showed up at 7 PM on the dot, just like I knew he would. I opened the door and the sight before me took my breath away.

He was dressed in a well-fitting pair of designer jeans, a slim black button-down shirt, and black dress shoes. The contrast between his dark shirt and his glittering emerald eyes nearly brought me to my knees. Edward's pouty lips stretched into a crooked grin, and I was speechless.

Thankfully, he spoke first. "Hello, Bella. You look amazing," he said, his eyes sparkling with excitement.

"Thank you; so do you, Edward. You're, uh, beautiful," I spoke, without thinking. _Beautiful? Shut up, Bella, before you embarrass yourself… _ Edward just chuckled good-naturedly.

As we made our way out to the driveway, I could feel his eyes appraising me. It didn't feel awkward like I was being ogled; it was as if he was truly appreciating me. I looked at him, and his eyes were filled with an unreadable emotion. Awe? Caught in the act, he looked embarrassed, but I was pleased. _Maybe it's the dress. _I made myself a mental note to thank Alice again later.

When he opened the passenger door of his Aston Martin and helped me in, I nearly growled with pleasure. He appeared in the driver's seat and turned the key, and the engine purred to life. I closed my eyes and tilted my head back against the black leather seat, and the purr of the 6 liter V8 engine mingled with my soft, rumbling sigh into a sound of utter contentment.

Pleased that I liked the car (in the understatement of the year), Edward sped us toward our destination in comfortable silence. A few minutes into the trip, I opened my eyes and let the reality of the moment sink in. We spoke idly, mostly of books, cars and the incredible little pixie that is Alice.

About twenty minutes into our drive, I began to get curious. "Where exactly are we going?" I asked.

"We're headed to Port Angeles, to a little Italian restaurant that Alice recommended. I haven't been there myself, but supposedly it's pretty relaxed, with good food."

"Hmm, sounds perfect," I remarked happily, and Edward just smiled.

Within a few minutes, we pulled up outside the restaurant, and Edward was out of the car and opening my door before my hand could reach the handle. "You don't have to do that, you know," I protested shyly.

"It's the very least I can do," he replied softly, and the contented look in his eyes stopped me from arguing.

I felt like I'd stepped into a fairytale. The night was perfect, Edward was perfect, and everything felt surreal. Reality came crashing back around me as he led me into the restaurant, his hand ghosting the small of my back without actually making contact. We walked up to the hostess stand, where the tall, blonde hostess eyed Edward hungrily. I rolled my eyes but didn't comment.

Swaying her hips shamelessly, she led us to a booth, and when we were seated across from each other, she left after casting a parting glance at Edward. Showing as much restraint as was housed within my 110-pound body, I ignored her. Unfortunately, the hostess must have given our waitress the heads-up, because she announced her presence with a nasal, flirty laugh that grated on my last nerve.

Looking only at Edward, she approached our booth. "What can I get you to drink?" she asked in what must have been her best attempt at a seductive voice. I almost laughed aloud. _I deserve a medal for my remarkable restraint._

Keeping his beautiful eyes trained on mine, Edward gestured for me to begin. "I'll have a diet coke, please," I said politely.

"I'll have the same," Edward said, and the annoying waitress sashayed away to get our drinks.

After she disappeared around the corner, I snorted and rolled my eyes. Edward looked at me quizzically.

He didn't get the opportunity to ask me about it, because the waitress chose that moment to reappear. "What can I get for you?" she asked Edward, leering at him.

I spoke up this time. "I'll have the mushroom ravioli, please." She wrote down my order without so much as a glance in my direction.

"I'll have the same," Edward said again, and we both laughed. Our laughter broke the tension, and I allowed the waitress to leave the table once more without using my French-tipped nails to gouge out her eyes.

I was hesitant to begin the serious discussion that brought us here, but since the evening had begun to go downhill since we entered the restaurant, I felt a little less guilty about broaching the topic.

"Edward," I began, looking into the green depths of his eyes. "I have some questions, and I need answers." The seriousness of my statement was apparent, and he didn't attempt to divert me or lighten the mood.

"I know, Bella, and you deserve nothing less than my complete honesty. Please, ask anything you'd like," he replied somberly.

"I think it would be best to start at the beginning. From your very first day at school, you hated me. Why? What could I possibly have done to deserve such animosity?"

Edward examined his long, pale fingers, tenting them on the table as he gathered his thoughts.

"I _did_ hate you," he admitted, and I couldn't help but flinch as he confirmed my fears aloud. "When I first saw you, I thought you were the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen. But, you were with Jessica and Lauren and I assumed you were just like them—another shallow, inconsequential teenager who was only concerned with the latest gossip and her manicured nails." _Shit, that stings._

He squirmed in his seat, obviously uncomfortable with sharing these details. I reached out and squeezed his hand, encouraging him to continue, even though I wasn't sure I wanted to hear what he was going to say next. Edward refused to look me in the eye, instead looking down at his hands or squeezing his eyes shut.

"I thought… I thought that your physical beauty was wasted. It made me disgusted with you, and I was even more disgusted with myself for having such a strong… physical reaction to you," he said, struggling to find the words to express himself.

I pulled my hand away from his as I instinctively recoiled from his ugly, hurtful words. _The truth hurts. This is what you wanted..._

Edward winced when he felt me jerk my hand from his, but his eyes remained tightly closed. When the waitress brought out our food, neither of us touched it, and he dismissed her with a wave of his hand.

"Then, I made you angry," he continued, "and I couldn't get enough. I couldn't help myself—you were so furious with me, but with your delicate body and your innocent, expressive eyes, you—" he hesitated as if he didn't want to continue. "You reminded me of a kitten who thought she was a tiger. It was incredibly sexy, and I'm ashamed to say that I provoked you for my own pleasure."

Edward's eyes were downcast as he examined his tented fingers, and he didn't look up to gauge my reaction to his words.

I was glad, because he would have seen a mixture of shame, anger, and resentment. "Is that all?" I asked coldly, because I couldn't find it within myself to comfort him anymore. _Even kittens have claws._

"No, of course not." His words had a tone of pleading, but he still didn't meet my gaze. "Despite my misgivings about your personality, I was drawn by my physical attraction to you. I found myself watching you, and as I observed, I decided that the persona you project is not the real Bella. You're deeper, so much deeper than I originally gave you credit for. I could see that you couldn't stand Jess and Lauren and their stupid little games. I discovered that you were passionate and knowledgeable about literature. And when you finally spoke to me, that's when I truly fell—" he broke off before starting again.

"That's when I realized that I had feelings for you. From the things you told me about your mother, and Angela, it seemed you were selfless," he finished, squeezing his eyes shut while he pinched the bridge of his nose. "And entirely too good for me," he muttered under his breath.

I was sick of his avoidance. "Edward, look at me," I said in a firm tone, and he finally turned his gaze up to meet mine. I saw a twisted mosaic of guilt, regret, and uncertainty in his eyes, and I felt the oddest sensation. It was as though his pain was my pain, and to reach out and comfort him would be to comfort us both. But I couldn't comfort us, not yet.

"What happened with the minivan, then?" I asked.

"You eat, I'll talk," he ordered, and I obediently popped a ravioli into my mouth before he continued. His voice was low and strained, and I could tell it was painful for him to speak his next words. "When I saw the van skidding towards you, all I could think was 'no, not her'. I didn't even consider it; I just leaped in front of the van and knocked you out of the way."

I shuddered silently at the memory of how close we'd both been to dying.

"I couldn't stand the thought of going to school every day and not seeing you there," he added sheepishly. "And when I held you in my arms and realized that you were safe, I kind of lost my mind," he said, running his hands through his messy hair. "I didn't know how to deal with all the emotions I was feeling, and it was infuriating. I was angry at the world for being such a destructive place as to endanger such an angel, and I was mad at myself for getting so caught up in another person that they could affect me that way, and I was furious at the cruel nature of fate for making me fall for someone I couldn't have. So, I behaved unforgivably, and I pushed you away."

"But, why can't you have me?" I asked quietly.

Edward looked pained as he struggled to explain. "I'm… not a good person. I'm arrogant and smug and moody. And I'm a loner; I love my family but I pretty much disdain everyone else. How could I ever make you happy?" His voice broke on the last word.

"Edward, why do you think you're a bad person?" I asked, my question barely a whisper.

After a long silence, he answered. "You see, Bella, girls have always thrown themselves at me, but I was never more than fleetingly attracted to anyone. If I could tolerate someone for long enough, I would use them to sate my physical needs. I never really cared for any of them, and though I always felt unbearably guilty afterwards, it was not enough to stop me from doing it again the next time I felt the need. I am a user, Bella. I'm no good. I never meant to be a coldhearted bastard, but that doesn't change the fact that I am."

He looked at me expectantly, like he was waiting for me to go running out the door, screaming all the way. But I wasn't going anywhere. Our shared pain was thick in my throat, and I was unable to speak.

"I just assumed I was destined to be alone. But then I found you, and you brought my cold, dead heart to life," Edward said, his eyes blazing with intensity.

_I feel the same way, Edward. I've never felt about anyone the way I feel about you._ I fought for words. "Then why do you keep pushing me away?"

His lips twisted into a sarcastic sneer and his eyes darkened to a deeper shade of green. Something about his expression instinctually frightened me, and I found myself inching backward.

"I need you to run away from me, Bella, because I'm not strong enough to stay away from you. I am essentially a selfish creature, and there's a good chance that I'll hurt you like I hurt the others," he spoke, still sneering blackly.

I forced myself to swallow and lean towards him over the table. "I'm not running away." The words came out with more conviction than I felt.

His twisted expression melted into a look of frustrated sadness, and he covered his face with his hands. "Bella, I'm not good for you. My flaws will only bring you down; I'll tarnish your halo. I'm so—" he broke off.

_Scared. Tortured. Beautiful._

The intensity in the air was palpable, but it abated slightly at that moment, as the waitress appeared with our check. Edward placed a black credit card into the folder and handed it back to her without taking his eyes off me.

"You should have let her split it up. This isn't a date, remember?" I asked, glad for the temporary reprieve from our serious discussion.

"Of course, how thoughtless of me," he replied with a glint humor in his eyes.

I made a soft "hmmph", satisfied that he recognized his transgression. We looked at each other in silence for a few moments.

"Edward," I said, returning to a serious tone. "I'm a grown woman and I can take care of myself." He opened his mouth to interrupt, but I silenced him by holding up a hand. "And that includes making my own decisions. I've never been one to let anyone else decide what's best for me, and I'm not about to start now. I'm not as frail as you obviously think I am," I stated, looking down.

_He thinks I'm weak and delicate—an untouchable porcelain angel who will break if he treats her too roughly. How skewed his perceptions are. I don't fracture that easily._

"I don't think you're frail." He frowned.

"A kitten, Edward?" I reminded him, unamused.

He just sighed and took his credit card back from the waitress, signed the receipt and placed it on the table with the check. I could see that she'd scrawled her name, phone number, and a heart on the back. _Shameless hussy. _ I rolled my eyes as we both stood, leaving our food mostly untouched.

"Do you always have this effect on females?" I questioned, gesturing down to the note on the check.

"Usually," he replied, smirking.

We walked in silence to his car. I had been inundated with information and I needed some time to absorb it all. I had assumed he would skirt around my questions and give me halfhearted explanations for his behavior; I hadn't imagined that he would bare his soul to me. As we reached the car, I was considering the courage it must have taken to speak so openly with me—to make himself vulnerable in that way.

When he climbed inside the Aston Martin and shut the door, my senses were bombarded. His sweet, indescribable scent filled my lungs, and the air between us was filled with an electric charge. Between the deluge of emotions I felt and the odd, tingling sensation of being so close to Edward in the dark car, I felt an unbearable tension. I was a rubber band, pulled taut. And then I snapped.

I grabbed two handfuls of Edward's shirt and pulled him to me, desperately pressing my lips to his. He hesitated for only a moment, then his body responded as I knew it would. Our mouths moved together softly, but with an intensity that added fuel to the fire of my need. He seemed to sense the urgency and he deepened the kiss, sliding his tongue between my lips and tasting the vibration of the soft moan I produced. My tongue met his, and my hands moved of their own accord to knot in his soft hair.

_This is heaven. This is all I need. This will not end well._

Our pace quickened, and he sucked and nipped at my lower lip. I couldn't stop the whimper of need that escaped me. _More, more. I have to have more. I need to touch his skin—I'll die if I don't._ His lips moved down my jaw to my neck, where he planted wet, open-mouthed kisses as I panted for air. Frantically, my hands moved to the buttons of his shirt, seeking to expose his skin to my touch and make the contact I so desperately desired.

"Bella," he said softly, his voice low and rough. He ceased his glorious assault on my neck and his hands grasped mine. He sighed deeply and pulled my hands from the buttons of his shirt, keeping hold of one hand and gripping it within his own. Sitting up straighter in his seat, he cleared his throat.

_Oops. Fuck. What have I done?_ The silence lasted a beat too long and it became uncomfortable. "I, uh… Sorry about that. I don't know what came over me. I guess I don't have brakes," I offered weakly.

His grip on my hand suddenly felt stiff and forced, and I pulled it away, using it instead to cover my face. _He was just holding my hand to comfort me in the face of rejection. Is it possible to actually die from embarrassment? _

"It's fine," he said stiffly, starting the car. He pulled on to the road swiftly and I sat in the passenger seat, burning in my own personal hell.

_I can't believe I just did that. I attacked him… and then I started undressing him… in a car… on our first date! And it wasn't even a date!! He thinks I'm a total whore. Hell, I think I might be a total whore. How far would it have gone? I wasn't even thinking about stopping—I wasn't thinking about anything._

Hot tears of shame welled up in my eyes, and I wanted to disappear. Edward said nothing, and he was driving at 120 miles per hour.

_I'd be anxious to get me home, too. Could this be any worse? Wait, yes it could. I'm pretty sure my next move was to climb over the console and straddle his lap. I would have ground my hips against his body to find the friction that I so desperately craved. That definitely would have been worse._

I couldn't help but laugh out loud at my ridiculous thoughts, and Edward turned, staring at me like I was insane. "Tell me what you're thinking, please," he stated, turning his gaze back to the road.

"I was thinking… at least I didn't dry hump you," I answered honestly. Another involuntary giggle escaped me, and the corners of Edward's mouth twitched as he fought to control his laughter. His expression made me laugh even harder and he joined in, unable to resist.

When my laughter faded out, the tears of mortification began again, and I tried to hide them by turning my face towards the window. "Are you crying?" Edward asked, horrified.

I couldn't answer, because the giant lump in my throat was blocking my airway. "Bella," he began, "I just didn't want you to do anything you'd regret."

"I know that, and I'm glad you stopped me. It's just that when a red-blooded seventeen-year-old boy stops you from taking his clothes off, it kind of strikes a blow to the ego," I responded. _Jeez, the total honesty thing can stop any time now._

I sniffled and Edward frowned. He took a breath, clearly about to go into a speech about how I am desirable and how there's no reason to feel that way, but I was spared by the ringing of my cell phone.

"That's Charlie, calling to see why I'm not home yet," I said as I dug through my purse for the phone. I flipped it open and pressed it to my ear. "Hello?"

My greeting was met by staticky silence. "Hello?" I repeated.

"That's a lovely dress, Bella," said the quiet, menacing voice that I would recognize anywhere.

_No. Please, no._

"What the fuck do you want?" I practically screamed into the phone.

Edward's eyes widened in surprise and confusion at my outburst.

"I'm just calling to see how your little date went," James replied in an icy tone.

_How could he know that? Is he here? Oh, God._

"Why can't you just leave me alone?" I begged, fighting to contain the tears that were already so close to the surface.

"Tell me, Bella, did you let him touch you? Did you let him put his fingers inside you? Did you make him beg for it? You always were such a dirty little cocktease." His words made my skin crawl, and I gagged as I snapped the phone closed.

I sat, shaking, in disbelief as Edward made the last turn and pulled the car into my driveway. He killed the engine and turned towards me, cupping my face in one of his hands. His brow was furrowed with concern. "What the hell was that about?"

"I… I can't talk about it right now," I responded, then I opened the car door and was out before he could react. I leaned my head back in. "Thanks for dinner, Edward. And, I'm sorry about everything." Without waiting for a reply, I swung the door shut and bounded up the steps and into the house.

I called goodnight to Charlie on my way through the house as I continued the sprint up to my bedroom. I shut the door, sinking to the ground against it. I shuddered and gasped with quiet sobs. Eventually, my tears were all dried up, and I needed to think. _Where to even begin? So much fucked up shit has transpired tonight that I'd need months on some shrink's leather couch to sort it all out. _


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8 – The Circus**

I sat on the hard wood floor of my room, trying to slow my thumping heart and organize my jumbled thoughts.

After I calmed down and tried to consider the situation objectively, I realized that James might be bluffing. He made it sound like he'd been watching me, by asking about my date and commenting on my dress. Realistically, though, he could have been just guessing about those things. It wasn't that far-fetched to assume that I'd have a date for Saturday night, and he knew from experience that I usually wore dresses on date nights. I certainly wouldn't put it beyond him to try to scare me and mess with my head. James was angry—he never got over the fact that I didn't want to be with him. He doesn't deal well with rejection, to put it mildly. But to follow me all the way to Forks just to make some menacing phone calls? It didn't seem likely.

I had to admit, though, his words scared the hell out of me. The smartest move would probably be to get Charlie involved, but I was hesitant to do that because I knew he'd have a police escort following me around at all times. When it came to my safety, my dad tended to be overprotective to the extreme. So, unless James showed up in my front yard, I didn't want to resort to telling Charlie.

I had another problem: Edward overheard my phone call with James, and he was bound to be curious. I hoped he would just let it drop until I was ready to talk about it. As much as I wanted to tell Edward everything, I couldn't tell him about James, not yet. It was too early to load him down with that kind of baggage; that was one surefire way to squish our fledgling relationship before it even began. _Relationship? Gulp._

Which brought up another topic up for debate… whether or not to pursue a relationship with Edward. Part of me still worried about losing focus on my school work, but that felt like an excuse even to me. When it came to his grades, Edward seemed just as driven as I. Honestly, I was just terrified of getting hurt. I didn't know if I could handle making myself so vulnerable to another person again. He'd warned me himself that he was quite capable of hurting me. But, I was inexplicably drawn to him, and I knew I couldn't walk away now, even if I wanted to.

And then there was The Kiss. Edward's lips were sweet torture; the longing I felt when we kissed was unlike anything I'd ever experienced. _Ha, obviously_. I realized that I no longer felt embarrassed about what had happened in the car. My initial reaction was to feel rejected, but that was irrational; I knew that Edward just stopped me because he didn't want to do something that we'd both regret.

But I couldn't regret my actions; it was as though I couldn't control my body's response to him. Somehow, I recognized that that the intensity of that moment was borne of more than just a physical connection. Our union transcended the physical—it was mental, emotional… even spiritual. _Wait, seriously? Oh, that's sappy. Gonna puke now._

I couldn't help but hear the little voice whispering warnings in my head. The worldly, sarcastic little voice told me I would get hurt. I'd offer everything I had to this God-like creature, and he would destroy it. After all, like Romeo and Juliet, such an all-consuming love was never meant to last. I scoffed at my own thought. _Love? I barely even know him. But I desperately want to. What are his hopes and dreams? What is his family like?_

I wanted to know everything about him—what he was like as a child, his worst fear, what he looks like when he's sleeping… More than anything, I wanted to see his bedroom—to lie in his bed and bury my face in his pillow and just revel in being in the place where he sleeps every night. And his pillow would smell just like him. _That's fucking weird, Swan, even for you. And James is supposed to be the obsessed stalker? _I wanted to peruse his CD collection and thumb through his books—anything to give me some insight into the workings of his strange, lovely mind.

My haphazard tumult of thoughts was eventually interrupted when I noticed that the black night sky had lightened to the pale purple glow of pre-dawn. _Have I really been sitting here on the floor all night?_ I stood and stretched my stiff limbs. Collapsing on the bed, I pulled the covers up under my chin and let myself fall into a deep, exhausted sleep.

I awoke to a muffled ringing sound, and as it pulled me to consciousness, I heard the gruff rumble of Charlie's voice downstairs.

"Bella?" he called up to me. "Phone for you."

Sighing dramatically, I extricated myself from the tangled bedsheets and grumbled incoherently all the way down to the kitchen. Charlie handed me the phone wordlessly, then returned to the living room, where he was watching ESPN. "Hello?" I asked, with a tone of barely-concealed irritation.

"Bella? Hi, it's Edward," his unexpected velvet voice answered. "I'm sorry, did I wake you?"

"Uh, no. Well, yes. It's okay," I replied, disconcerted. I tried to recover my senses. "What's up, Edward? Are you calling to let me know that you found my dignity under the passenger seat of your car?" I joked.

He laughed. "No, actually. I was calling to see if you had plans for the afternoon."

_Really? Act casual!_

"Hmm, nothing concrete," I said easily. "Why, what did you have in mind?"

"I was thinking perhaps you'd like to come over to my house and meet my family."

I froze. _Oh shit. It's way too soon for that. What if they don't like me? Mayday, mayday!_

"I, uh…" I began, but I couldn't come up with an excuse fast enough.

"I was hoping I'd get to show you my room," he added.

_How could I refuse an offer like that?? And miss a chance to surreptitiously sniff his pillow? Not a fucking chance. It's on like Donkey Kong, bitches._

"Sure, I'd like that," I replied.

"Great, I'll come pick you up at 2," he said, hanging up the phone before I could protest.

_Uh, what just happened? Did I seriously just agree to meet his family… on the day after our first non-date? Fuuuuuuck._

I was absolutely terrified and in total disbelief that I'd just agreed to go to Edward Cullen's house to meet his family. I already knew his brothers and sisters from school, but we'd never actually been introduced, and the only one I'd ever spoken to was Alice. To my knowledge, the Cullens hardly interacted with anyone at school unless it was absolutely necessary. Though I wasn't one to believe the gossip, most people assumed it was because the Cullens thought they were better than everyone else at Forks High School. _They are definitely smarter, better-looking, and more cultured than pretty much everyone at FHS. What if they don't think I'm good enough for Edward?_

The son of wealthy, educated parents dating the local Police Chief's daughter sounded more like a Cinderella story or a made-for-tv movie than a relationship that could work out in reality. That said, I was bound and determined to _make_ the Cullens like me. I showered and dressed in a stretchy white shirt and a pair of jeans, and before I knew it I was riding in the passenger seat of the silver Volvo.

Edward turned off the highway through a small opening in the dense forest. The long, winding gravel driveway was lined by tall trees on either side which lent a surreal, mysterious quality to the drive. As we rounded the last curve, I could see the Cullen house in a small clearing within the lush green of the surrounding forest. The house was a breathtaking mixture of modern architecture and woodsy appeal. The exterior was mostly a natural wood, but the wood met with long, sleek expanses of glass, forming a stark contrast of rustic warmth and cold hardness. The design was unexpected and entirely appealing, and I found myself just staring through the windshield in awe.

Edward noticed my awe-struck expression and chuckled. "My mother, Esme, designed the house herself. She dabbles in architecture and interior design, though her true passion is restoring historical homes."

"It's beautiful," I breathed, still taking in the lines of the home. It was three stories, and large enough that it looked more like a modern mansion than someone's house. Before I could open my car door, Edward appeared around the car and opened it for me, taking my hand as I stepped out. I noticed that his jaw was clenched tightly and his eyes looked unusually dark.

"Edward?" I asked, concerned. "Are you… nervous?" As soon as the words left my mouth, I recognized the truth of them. He was as nervous as I'd ever seen him.

"It's nothing," he countered dismissively, but I knew him better than to believe that. _Shit, he probably knows that his parents won't approve of me. What if he's afraid that I'll embarrass him?_ Though my nerves had calmed appreciably on the drive over, they returned in full force as we climbed the steps to his front door. _Here goes nothing…_

He held the front door open for me and we walked unceremoniously into his living room. I could hear voices emanating from what was probably the kitchen, but we were alone in the living room, so I took the opportunity to take in the tasteful interior. Everything was decorated in pale, neutral shades and the furniture looked more like pieces in a showroom than real, usable furniture.

My eyes were drawn to one corner of the room, where a glossy black piano stood. I gravitated towards it and I sat down on the bench to admire the instrument. "Wow, this is incredible. Does someone in your family play?" I asked. I immediately felt stupid for asking, because obviously one of the Cullens played piano, or they wouldn't have it in the first place.

"Yes. I do, actually," Edward responded shyly.

"And quite well, I might add," came a woman's dulcet voice from over his shoulder.

Turning, I observed a gorgeous woman with shoulder-length caramel hair, soft curves, and a warm, kind face. "You must be Mrs. Cullen," I said, stepping forward to shake the lovely woman's hand.

"And you must be Bella," she said, her voice a rich mezzo-soprano. "Please, call me Esme."

"Of course," I responded with my sweetest smile. "So this one plays well?" I teased, gesturing to Edward. "You never told me."

"Well, my mother taught me to be modest," Edward said evenly.

"Nonsense," Esme chided. "There's a time and a place for modesty. Play something for us, dear."

Apparently the shyness was an act, because he took a seat beside me on the bench and began to play without hesitation. His long fingers danced skillfully along the keys as he played a beautiful composition with which I was not familiar.

"That was amazing," I enthused. I had never heard a more emotional, soulful piece in all my life. "I've never heard it before."

"I wrote it for Esme," he said, looking down as I gaped at him in surprise.

"You must be very proud," I said to Esme. Her face glowed, exuding warmth and adoration for her son. She leaned down to place a light kiss on the top of his head, and the gesture was so touching that I almost had to look away because it made me miss my mother. Now that I was living with Charlie, I found myself feeling a little affection-starved. I could count on both hands the number of times my dad had even hugged me; he was always more of an awkward pat on the back sort of guy.

Edward stood up from the piano bench. "Shall we meet the rest of the family?" he asked, holding out his hand. I nodded and accepted his hand, following him through the doorway to what appeared to be the kitchen and dining room area. His jaw was tight again and he looked slightly ill. I could only imagine what was going through his head, and it did little to soothe my fears about meeting the rest of his family.

When I saw the remaining Cullens in the dining room, I froze in the entryway, temporarily paralyzed with something akin to stage fright. I recovered myself quickly and looked around the room. My gaze was immediately drawn to a tall blonde man who I recognized as my E.R. doctor (and the second most beautiful man I'd ever seen).

"Dr. Cullen," I spoke, "how lovely to see you again." _Ha, total DILF. Cue porn music (bow-chik-a-bow-wow)._

"Bella," he said warmly, "it's nice to see you as well. And on better circumstances, this time!"

Dr. Cullen chucked good-naturedly, and I couldn't help but laugh along with him. He seemed like such a gentle, compassionate man, and I could almost feel the waves of kindness emanating from him. Esme stepped forward and Carlisle wrapped an arm around her waist, pulling her close and placing a gentle kiss on her forehead. I averted my gaze again. _I couldn't imagine that my father ever touched my mother that way when they were married. Charlie has the emotional sensibilities of a tree stump… and he'd make one insensitive tree stump._

I turned my attention to the other occupants of the room, only to cock one eyebrow questioningly. The huge man-beast, Emmett, was sitting in a dining room chair with the leggy blonde, Rosalie, straddling his lap. When I glanced back at Edward, he looked every bit as uncomfortable as I felt. Grabbing my hand and leading me over to where the happy couple was sitting, he cleared his throat. Emmett pried his lips away from Rosalie's neck for long enough to introduce himself and give me a wide, dimpled smile. Rosalie barely acknowledged my existence.

Anxious to get away from the blatantly sexual display, I wandered further into the room towards Alice and the tall blonde guy, Jasper. Jasper looked uncomfortable, like he was about to sneeze. He was sitting in the corner of the room wearing a puffy white pirate shirt and strumming an acoustic guitar. Alice was twirling her tiny body in circles, and it made me dizzy just to look at her.

Midway through one of Alice's spins, she caught sight of me and broke into a sprint. When she was halfway to where I stood, she literally sprang into the air and hurled herself at me. Luckily, I saw her coming so I bent my knees and braced my body for the impact. She landed on my chest like an 85-pound missile, knocking the air out of my lungs with an "Oof."

Edward put his face in his hands in total embarrassment. "Really, Alice?" he asked.

"Hey, Al," I said, placing the tiny pixie back on the ground in front of me.

"Hi, Bella," she squealed excitedly. "So, I heard the date went well last night?" she asked, wagging her eyebrows suggestively.

"I don't know; it started out well then crashed and burned like the fucking Hindenburg…" _Oops. Could I be a bigger tool?_

I realized my mistake as I saw Edward's face fall. "I didn't mean that," I fumbled, trying to explain. "I had a great time, it's just that I kind of made a fool of myself and then started crying and then got this menacing phone call…" I rambled.

"Wait, a menacing phone call?" Alice asked, confused.

_Shit shit shit. Did I really say that part out loud?_ Edward waited expectantly, his intent gaze trained on me.

"Uh, yeah," I shrugged. "It was nothing."

"It didn't sound like 'nothing' to me," Edward said, frowning. _Great, he's not going to drop it._

"I guess it was just my past catching up to me," I mumbled.

Edward laughed loudly, causing Alice and I to stare at him like he'd gone insane.

"Well that's just fucking cryptic!" he managed between laughs. _Edward Cullen is calling_ me _cryptic? Oh, the hell no. _

"Whatever!" I practically yelled at him. "Pot, meet Kettle. Your middle name is Enigmatic! Edward fucking Enigmatic Cullen."

"Wait, my middle name is Enigmatic, or Fucking?" he questioned with a smirk.

"Either, actually. Or both. You rich people all have like twelve names, anyway, so why not?" I retorted jokingly.

The whole room fell silent. _Fuck me. I really need to install a filter between my brain and my mouth. Not only did I just insult the boy I may or may not be crazy about and my closest (read: only) female friend at Forks, I think I also insulted his entire friggin' family._

"It's Anthony," Carlisle called from the kitchen.

"Huh?" I asked, confused and mortified.

"His middle name," Carlisle continued matter-of-factly. "So that would make him Edward Anthony Fucking Enigmatic Cullen."

At that, the whole family burst into laughter and I realized with a huge sigh of relief that I was off the hook.

"Bella just got Carlisle to drop the f-bomb!" Emmett bellowed happily. He reached over Rosalie's shoulder to slap me a high five. Rosalie just looked annoyed and rolled her eyes. _Bitch._

"'I feel like a wet seed wild in the hot blind earth'," Jasper blurted from his seat in the corner. _What the fuck?_

"Faulkner?" I asked, puzzled by his weird outburst.

"Yes, but wrong quote," he replied, his brow furrowed in thought. "You said that your past was catching up to you; I had a relevant Faulkner quote, but that's not the one."

"Oh," I replied, still thoroughly confused. Edward, Alice and I all looked at each other quizzically.

"Ah, I've got it!" Jasper shouted triumphantly. "'The past is not dead. In fact, it's not even past.' William Faulkner."

"Uh, thanks," I said, because that was the only response I could think of. Edward looked thoroughly miserable and Alice looked pleased that Jasper was talking to me. "So, uh, Edward, are you going to give me a tour of the rest of the house?" I asked, anxious to get out of the dining room.

"Yes," he practically shouted as he grabbed my hand and pulled me quickly from the room. Edward looked noticeably calmer as we reentered the living room and approached a large, winding staircase.

"Do I get to see your room now?" I asked in a tone that conveyed more excitement than I'd intended.

His body stiffened visibly. "I'm not sure that's such a great idea," he said tersely, his jaw tight again.

"What?" I asked, crestfallen. "That's the whole reason I came over. You can't just make me deal with that circus," I gestured vaguely to the dining room, "and then not let me at least poke through your CDs." I couldn't help but pout. _I should have made his middle name Moody. Or Bipolar._

"I suppose you're right," he responded simply. He turned and led me up the three flights of stairs to his room, but he was definitely not happy about it.

We reached the door and I turned him around to face me. "Look, I don't know if you're afraid I'm going to try to molest you or something, and after what happened last night I wouldn't blame you, but I promise to keep my hands to myself," I spoke quickly, a slight flush spreading across my cheeks.

"Bella," he said, sneering blackly, "I think it's _you_ who should be afraid."

"I'm not afraid of you," I replied, taking a step towards him and closing the gap between our bodies. My chest pressed up against the hard muscles of his stomach and both of our breathing quickened.

Leaning down until I could feel the warm, sweet moisture of his breath on my face, he spoke in a low growl. "You _really_ shouldn't have said that."

He opened the door to his bedroom and gave me a light push through the doorway. One entire wall was made of glass with a breathtaking view, but I didn't have time to take it in because my attention was focused elsewhere. I was cornered and Edward was stalking towards me. His movements were slow and sinuous, his deep green eyes fixed on me. I could see that his pupils were dilated, and his nostrils flared as he made his calculated approach.

My heart was fluttering and my breath came in short gasps. I felt my face flush with arousal and some unnamed emotion. _Fear?_ Edward's behavior triggered some deep, primal instinct within me and my first reaction was to run. My rational brain still in control, I held my ground, but when he took another step closer my body screamed 'Run!' and my brain was powerless to stop it.

I sidestepped Edward and darted for the door, but he moved like a flash. I found myself flying through the air and landing on the leather couch with a loud crash. I was pinned beneath Edward; he was holding me down with his hips and I'd never been so turned on in my life. His intense green eyes pierced mine like he was staring into my very soul. His gaze dropped from my eyes to my mouth as he licked his full, pink lips in hungry anticipation. _Holy fuck, my panties are officially wet. _

A loud voice rumbled through the silence from some other room of the house. "Mom, Dad! Edward's screwing Bella and I'm pretty sure they just broke the couch!" Emmett hollered.

_Moment officially ruined._ I wriggled out from under Edward and stomped out the door, hell bent on committing homicide.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9 – Dynamics**

I stormed down the stairs to the second floor, where I encountered Emmett. He was standing in the hallway wearing the most obnoxious shit-eating grin I'd ever seen. _And I'm going to fucking wipe it off his face. _I strode towards him, fists clenched at my sides, shaking with quiet rage.

"You!" I began in a growl. "We were _not_ screwing!" I yelled, hoping that Carlisle and Esme would overhear. I continued in a lower tone. "But if we _were_ going to, we aren't now because you totally fucking ruined the moment!"

Emmett must have found my fury amusing, because his grin widened even more. Fueled by embarrassment, anger, and pent-up sexual frustration, my temper erupted.

"You fucking cockblocker!" I practically screamed as I charged down the hallway directly at him. I pounced on him, but he anticipated my move, ducking down in an attempt to send me flying over his shoulder. I had other plans. As I cleared his broad shoulder, I hooked my arm around his thick, muscular neck and swung myself onto his back. One arm still around his neck, I hooked it through my other arm and squeezed with all my might, temporarily cutting off the blood supply to his brain. Within about eight seconds, an unconscious Emmett dropped to the floor with a resounding thud that shook the house.

I hopped off of him, pleased with the result. Glancing up, I was met with the astonished faces of Alice, Edward, Jasper, and one angry-looking Rosalie.

"Did you just put my boyfriend in a sleeper hold?" Rosalie asked incredulously.

"Yep," I responded simply, because I didn't know what else to say.

"Nice," she replied, moving to help Emmett as he shook his head, regaining consciousness.

"Thanks." I cut through the crowd back toward the staircase, grabbing Edward's hand as I passed. I pulled him up the stairs behind me wordlessly and towed him by the hand back to his bedroom, shutting the door behind us. His shocked expression had been replaced by one of amusement.

"I'll add 'jiu-jitsu moves' to my mental list of Bella's Random Skills," Edward said, shaking his head.

"You keep a list?"

"I do," he responded with a smirk.

Curious though I was, the look on his face told me that I wasn't going to get any more information from him. So, I decided to let the subject drop for the moment, instead moving around his room and inspecting his belongings. He had a stellar music collection, and I was surprised to find that we had a lot of albums in common. I'd always thought that I had rather eclectic tastes in music, so to see that Edward and I had such similar collections was really strange. But for some reason, it made me happy.

I was equally as surprised to discover that we had radically disparate tastes in books. Examining the titles on his bookshelf, I cringed. I noticed a particulary dog-eared volume and plucked it from the shelf. "_Catcher in the Rye_?" I asked, making a face.

"Ah, you've found my favorite," Edward responded with a smile.

"_This_ is your favorite?" I asked skeptically. "How could you say that? The book is pedestrian and unimaginative and Holden Caulfield is an immature, whiny little bitch. It's high on the list of the worst novels I've ever read," I ranted, placing the worn book back on the shelf.

I truly did hate the novel, but more than anything I was trying to provoke a response from Edward. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I thought that maybe if I pushed him far enough he'd pounce on me again.

He managed to look both perplexed and slightly offended. "That is a classic piece of American literature!" he argued.

"It's a classic piece of _garbage_," I asserted.

His eyes narrowed. "It's a higher-caliber novel than that Jane Austen bullshit I see you reading all the time!" _That's hitting below the belt, but I deserve it..._

"Do you honestly—" I began.

"Yeah, I said it," he retorted, cutting me off. "Austen writes melodramatic fantasies for little girls. All her novels share the common features of unrealistic characters and gag-inducing romantic notions."

I gasped in shock and horror. I had just come up with a scathing remark to counter his when someone began pounding on the door.

"Let me in!" screamed little Alice from the hallway. Edward opened the door. "Sorry for interrupting, Edward," she apologized. "It's just that you guys were in here and I was stuck out there and… it's not fair! You've been hogging Bella all afternoon!"

Succumbing to the will of the tiny pixie, we hung out with Alice and their other siblings for the rest of the afternoon. It was… nice. Despite the initial weirdness, I actually felt comfortable spending time with them, which was something I hadn't expected.

After the sun sank low in the sky, I figured I had better get home. Edward drove me back and we listened to music in comfortable silence. Still processing the day's events, I welcomed the peaceful moment. When he pulled into my driveway, we both hesitated. I wasn't ready to get out of the car quite yet.

"I have a question for you," I began, continuing when Edward nodded his assent. "What else is on the list of Bella's Random Skills?" I asked, still insanely curious.

He paused, gauging my expression before answering. "Let's save that discussion for another time." From the smug expression on his face, I could tell that he knew exactly how badly I wanted to hear about the rest of the list and it gave him great pleasure to withhold the information. _Grrrr._

He asked for my cell phone number, so I punched the number into his phone before telling him goodbye and forcing myself to get out of the car. Before I even got up the stairs, I had a text message.

Thank you for tonight.

-EC

I saved his cell number in my phone, made a quick dinner for myself and Charlie, then went upstairs to swoon in private.

I spent the rest of the evening obsessively thinking about Edward. I couldn't help it. I replayed the events of the afternoon in my head, giving special attention to the part when he pounced on top of me and pinned me to the leather couch. I tweaked the events a little bit—in my new version Edward and I were both naked and Emmett never interrupted…

Carried away by my fantasies, I didn't realize that my cell phone was buzzing until it vibrated off the top of my dresser and onto the floor. When I picked up the phone and looked at it, my stomach did a little flip. _Edward._ _What on earth could he want? We just spent the whole afternoon together. Not that I mind…_ As I flipped open the phone, I suddenly felt like a nervous, stuttering junior high girl.

"Hello?" I answered, trying to sound more casual than I felt. It came out as more of a squeak.

"Bella," he breathed in relief, like he'd been waiting to hear my voice. The low, musical quality of his voice as he sighed my name was enough to send my heart into a fluttering frenzy and I felt a sudden tightening in the pit of my stomach. I bit down on my fist. "I'm sorry to bother you, but I forgot to ask you something earlier," Edward said.

"No bother," I squeaked again, trying (and failing miserably) to rid my thoughts of images of him sighing my name in another context. "What's up?" _I hope my voice doesn't sound as ridiculously strained to him as it does to me._

"I was just wondering if I could pick you up for school tomorrow," he said in a playfully seductive tone. _Sure, but only if you come 30 minutes early so I can molest you in the back seat first. _

_When did I become such a pervert?_

I realized that he was still waiting for an answer. _Decisions, decisions… Audi. Edward. Audi. Edward. Both are sexy as hell. Audi – always reliable. Edward – questionable at best. Besides, letting him drive for the third day in a row would be setting a dangerous precedent..._

"Thanks, but no can do. I haven't taken the S5 out all weekend and she's just itching to get out of the driveway," I responded. I thought he of all people would understand.

"Oh. All right, then," he replied quietly. _Shit. I hurt his feelings._

The silence that followed was painfully awkward. "Well…" he started to say at the exact instant that I said "You know…" and then we both fell silent again.

"You go ahead," he offered. _Damn it, Bella, fix it._

"I, uh, was just going to ask if maybe you'd like to sit with me at lunch tomorrow," I said tentatively.

"I'd love to," he responded silkenly, all traces of his earlier disappointment gone. "Under one condition, of course." _Great, here it comes._ "We have to sit at _my_ table. There's no way in hell I'm sitting at your usual table with those fucktards."

I laughed at his brazen honesty. "Condition accepted. I'd love nothing more than to spend my lunch hour away from the armada of asshats."

"It's settled, then. See you tomorrow, Bella."

"Bye," I replied. _Fuck it all, I squeaked again. He had to have noticed this time. That boy will be the death of me – and the destruction of my carefully engineered swagger..._

I woke up to the familiar buzzing of my alarm. Shutting it off, I bounced out of bed and trotted down the hallway to the bathroom. I was in the shower before it hit me… _Who the fuck are you and what have you done with Isabella Swan? I never EVER get out of bed without hitting the snooze button at least twice (and three times on Mondays)._ Yet, I was up and showering, bright and early on a Monday morning without any grumbling, complaining, or excess snooze button usage.

_What has changed? I know what's changed… I can't wait to get to school to see Edward gorgeous-ass Cullen. If anyone is worth getting out of bed over, it's him._

Buzzing from my not-so-inexplicably good mood, I dressed in a charcoal grey cashmere sweater and jeans. I wore my hair up in a carefully messy knot with a few strands left hanging down, throwing on a black belted peacoat before I left the house. The pleasurable growl of the Audi's engine brought a smile to my face as I sped around the curves to the school, and I couldn't shake the feeling that today was going to be a good day.

I got to school early and strutted into my Lit class like I owned the damn place. I was in a great mood and I felt unstoppable. There was suddenly a familiar charge to the air—it felt like the moment preluding a static snap of lightning. Looking to the door of the room expectantly, I wasn't disappointed. In walked Edward Cullen, looking like sex on motherfucking legs in a tight, long-sleeved charcoal thermal and a pair of designer jeans.

His emerald eyes locked on mine and I tried valiantly not to hyperventilate. He stalked over to where I was sitting, taking the desk directly in front of mine. He turned to greet me over his shoulder, and I was all but oblivious to the jealous stares of my female classmates. When class began and Edward turned back around to face forward, I was free to examine him intently.

I started with his coppery brown sex hair, raking my eyes over it and imagining the soft feel of it between my fingers. The sweet, hard outline of his perfect body was barely concealed by the tight grey thermal, and I could see every curve of his muscled shoulders and upper arms. As my eyes grazed across his tight, perfect back, my mouth dropped open of its own accord.

A single, viscous drop of spit dripped from the corner of my mouth onto the desk in front of me. I peered down at it in shock. Edward suddenly turned to say something to me, but his eyes were drawn like a magnet to the traitorous spit droplet on my desk. I immediately shot out a hand to wipe away the offensive droplet, but a large, pale hand flashed out to my wrist, restraining it. Edward smirked in amusement as I blushed uncontrollably. _I'll never live this one down. _

"Why, Bella, what is this?" he asked facetiously, lowering his perfect face to my desk to inspect the drool more closely as I watched in complete horror. He looked from the droplet to my reddened face, then back again. "It looks like… saliva! What could possibly inspire such a reaction from you?" he questioned, feigning ignorance. _I want to crawl in a hole and die of shame._

"Well, I don't see _food_ anywhere," he continued, prolonging my humiliation. "Let's see… what could Bella be drooling over?" he mused, looking around the room in an exaggerated manner. As he moved and turned in his ridiculous display, my eyes were again drawn to his shoulders and back, where the muscles flexed and rippled beneath the thin fabric of his thermal. When he brought up a hand to run his fingers through his hair, my gaze locked unabashedly on the firm contour of his bicep. _My pants are on fire. Please, put out the fire in my pants!_

I swallowed loudly to keep from slobbering again and thus cementing my shame. Hand still tangled in his bronze hair, Edward turned to face me again, a playful little smirk on his face. He followed the line of my glassy-eyed stare down to his arm, tracking the path of my gaze as it traced over his taut shoulder and up to meet his stunning green eyes. _Damn._

He looked down at himself innocently. "Oh, it's my shirt. You like my shirt, don't you," he said, teasing me. I could only nod my head. "Good to know," he commented smugly, turning around and resuming his note-taking.

I couldn't focus for the rest of the class. I studied the smooth skin on the back of his neck, the strands of his coppery brown hair, the outline of his soft pink earlobes… _I can fucking smell him from here._ I clenched my fists, fighting the urge to straddle his lap and screw him senseless right there in front of everyone.

When the bell finally dismissed us, I was a heavy-lidded, swollen-lipped, hard-nippled mess. I vowed not to sit behind Edward Cullen ever again. I practically ran from class to the ladies' room, where I bit down on my fist and tried not to scream in frustration. _Dude should come with a warning label. 'Warning: This man is one sexy sonofabitch. Side effects may include dizziness, disorientation, inability to concentrate, uncontrollable fits of lust, and frequent, frantic masturbation.'_

As I was holding my wrists under cold water and trying to get myself under control, two of my least favorite people came waltzing into the restroom: Jess and Lauren. They were frenemies of the worst kind—they'd act polite to your face then sell your ass up the river for a dollar.

"You were looking awfully cozy there with Edward," Jessica said, envy saturating her tone.

I couldn't stand it anymore—I had to talk to someone about my weekend. Mistake or not, I told them. "Yeah, we went on a date on Saturday night and then he had me over to his place yesterday." I stopped myself there, realizing that divulging too many details was probably not a good idea.

Lauren approached me and put her hand on my shoulder, a look of concern on her face. "As a friend, Bella, I need to tell you something. So don't freak out, okay?" _Well, what the fuck? Doesn't that mean I should automatically begin freaking out?_

"I happen to know that Edward has a reputation as a total man-whore. He went through half of the girls at his old school—he'd woo them and make them think he was interested until he got in their pants, then he'd never speak to them again. He took lots of girls' virginity then ignored them like they didn't even exist. I actually wouldn't be surprised if that was part of the reason his family decided to move," Lauren said solemnly.

_Edward told me about his… unsavory past. I accepted it. Lauren's just trying to fuck with my head._

"Just where the hell do you get your information, anyway?" I asked, irritated.

"I heard it from my cousin. Her friend's sister went to high school with Edward in Alaska," Jessica reported, smiling with pride.

"I'm just asking you to be careful, Bella," Lauren continued. "Think about it. At least make him wear protection—you never know where that thing's been!"

At her last comment, I felt the acidic sting of bile rising in my throat. I'm sure Jess and Lauren registered the look of disgust on my face, because they turned and left the bathroom, satisfied. I had no reason to trust either of them, so I tried to disregard their comments. I already knew that Edward had done things he wasn't proud of; I could only hope that those were mistakes of the past.

My pleasant mood eventually returned as I counted down the minutes to my lunch hour. When it was finally time to head to the cafeteria, I felt a little nervous and giddy. I walked into the cafeteria, spotting Edward and the rest of his family already seated at their usual table. Alice and Jasper were sitting across from each other, with Edward beside Alice and Emmett beside Jasper. Rosalie was nowhere in sight.

"Where's your girlfriend?" I asked Emmett lightly, "Did a house fall on her or something?" Em just looked wide-eyed, and I heard someone clear their throat directly behind me. _Figures._

"No, I was trying to buy a diet coke," Rosalie said, glaring at me as she walked around the table and took a seat beside Emmett. "Some stupid bitch got the last one," she added, looking pointedly down at the bottle of diet coke in my hands.

I held it out to her as a peace offering, and she snatched it up greedily. _Whatever. I don't need the caffeine buzz, anyway… I've had an Edward Cullen contact high going all day! _I sacked up and took the empty seat beside Edward and it actually felt good, like I belonged there. It wasn't awkward at all—I traded crude jokes with Emmett, giggled with Alice, and took the opportunity to wax philosophical with Jasper. Even Rose seemed to tolerate me, amazingly enough.

Best of all, I got to sit by Edward. He didn't say much, but every time I stole a glance at him he was gazing at me with the sweetest look. If I didn't know better, I'd say it was adoration. Steering clear of that train of thought, I had an idea.

"Hey, Edward," I began sweetly, looking up at him from beneath my eyelashes, "can I ask you a question?"

"Of course," he responded softly, taken in by my feminine wiles.

"What exactly comprises the list of Bella's Random Skills?" I asked. He frowned. "You said we would save that discussion for another time, and now's another time. Tell me, please?"

He sighed and I watched his willpower crumble to a pile of rubble at my feet. _Bella: 1, Cullen: 0._

Edward ran his hands through his hair nervously and I nearly squealed in anticipation. _Wait, I hope these are _good _skills…_

"Well," he began shyly, "the first one is driving. I've seen the way you handle that little Audi S5, and I've got to admit, you're good." I blushed at the compliment but waited for him to continue. "Next is wooing my family. You had my mother and father eating out of your hand in record time, which was quite impressive." I had to agree with that one.

He hesitated before continuing, making me even more curious. "You're good at dealing with my bullshit," he said, smiling. I raised one eyebrow in question. "After all I've put you through and the way I behaved… you're still here, sitting beside me."

_Okay, that was a good one._ If it weren't for fear of looking like a total panz, I might have teared up. Instead, I just nodded in assent.

Edward's pink mouth twisted into a devilish smirk and he leaned in close to my ear. "And, last but not least, there's the thing you do with your tongue that drives me wild." _Fuck me_. All the blood rushed from my brain to my pelvis and I'd swear my I.Q. dropped 40 points in that instant.

"Of course," he continued, "there's a whole subcategory reserved for things you do to me that drive me crazy."

I was seriously panting in the middle of the freakin' cafeteria. I decided to scrape up what dignity I had left and turn the tables a little bit.

"Oh, babe," I nearly groaned into his ear, "you haven't seen half of what I can do, yet."

His emerald eyes darkened perceptibly and he had to adjust himself. I couldn't help but laugh smugly. _Bella: 2, Cullen: 0_.

Edward was still staring at me with his lust-darkened forest green eyes when I felt my cell phone buzz in my pocket. I flipped it open and smiled at the text from Jake.

party at my rez this wknd. say u will b there

That actually sounded like fun, since I hadn't seen Jake in a few weeks. Plus, Edward hadn't asked me to do anything so it wasn't like I had other plans. I texted him back.

ok, u twisted my arm :)

Edward noticed that I was texting, but he didn't comment, and I didn't mention it because the bell rang signaling the end of the lunch period. We walked to Biology class together but he kept a careful distance between us, close but not touching. Irrationally, it made me feel a little insecure, like maybe he didn't want to touch me.

Sitting on the edge of the Biology table waiting for me was the spiky-haired bane of my existence, Mike Newton. "'Sup, Newton?" I asked, trying to ignore the fact that his ass was perched on my workspace.

Mike looked unusually sweaty and uncomfortable. _Ugh._ "I was just wondering if you wanted to go to a party out at La Push this weekend," he said.

"Yeah, dude, I'll be there," I responded.

His face lit up with excitement. _Whoa there, hormone._ "Do you need a ride?" he asked.

"Nope," I answered simply. "I'll drive myself."

"Really, it's no problem," Mike persisted.

"She said no, Newton," Edward growled from beside me. "Now take a hike!" Mike hopped off the desk and retreated to his own seat so quickly that it was comical.

Edward was grouchy then, presumably irritated by Mike Newton's intrusion, and he didn't say much for the rest of the day. _Stupid, moody boy._

I went home and spent some time with Charlie. We ordered a pizza and I pretended to be interested in whatever ballgame he was watching, but I was undeniably distracted. I wondered what Edward's deal was and whether he was mad at me for something. _Quit being such a puss and just call him._

I went upstairs to my bedroom and called Edward's number before I could talk myself out of it.

"Hello?" he answered in a rich, velvety tone. _I don't think I'll ever get used to that._

"Hi, Edward, it's Bella," I said, feeling stupid because he would obviously know it was me. I programmed my damn contact info into his phone myself.

"Hello, Bella," he responded politely, "How are you this evening?"

"I'm fine, thanks. I'm just calling to ask about this weekend… Would you like to go with me to a party over at La Push? I have a friend from the reservation who I'd like you to meet."

Edward was quiet for a moment, so I backpedaled. "I mean, you don't have to, of course, if you're busy or something." I bit my lip, waiting.

"Sure," he finally replied, "I'll go with you."

I sighed in relief. _Way to make me sweat bullets, jerk_. "Okay that sounds great. I guess I'll see you at school tomorrow," I said happily.

"Certainly. Goodnight, Bella."

"Oh, Edward, one more thing," I added. "I get to drive." I hung up the phone before he could protest, then laughed gleefully_. If Charlie hears me up hear laughing like a madwoman, he'll have me institutionalized before you can say 'Prozac'._

The phone rang immediately, just as I knew it would. _So predictable—he just couldn't resist dialing me back to get the last word!_

I flipped the phone open. "What, Edward?" I asked playfully.

"This isn't Edward," said a voice that chilled me to the very bone.

"Tell me, who is Edward?" James asked, and his tone was sweet honey laced with deadly arsenic.

I didn't answer. I wanted to flip the phone closed, but my hands were trembling and my brain couldn't seem to control them. _No, no, no. Not Edward. He can't find out about Edward._

"Just my Biology lab partner," I responded as nonchalantly as I could manage. My tone didn't fool me and it certainly wouldn't fool James. "As if it's any of your business," I said more forcefully. "I warned you not to contact me anymore. I'm getting Charlie and the police involved."

"Oh, that's terrifying," he laughed, and the unholy sound made me grip the blankets in fear. "The entire Forks Police Department consists of four deputies. How much are you willing to bet that they'll get to me before I get to you?" he hissed.

_He is coming after me. This is real._ I stifled a scream.

"Place your bet, Bella, my dear. Because I'm betting on _me_," he growled before hanging up.

I just sat, phone in my hand, shaking uncontrollably. I knew that I had no choice but to tell Charlie, even though that meant that everyone in Forks would eventually find out about my dark past. Including Edward.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10 – Push**

Still trembling, I slowly made my way back downstairs to where Charlie was on the couch watching tv.

"Daddy?" I pleaded. I felt like an infant, but I couldn't stop the hot tears that leaked from my eyes. James made me feel so vulnerable and helpless… so out of control.

Immediately shutting off the television, Charlie came and put his arms around me awkwardly. "What's wrong, Bella?" he asked. "Whatever it is, maybe I can help."

Determined to be strong, I quieted my sobs and cleared my throat so I could speak. "Do you remember my ex-boyfriend, James, the one from Phoenix?"

"Yeah, you may have mentioned him a couple of times. Did you two break up or something?" Charlie asked, clearly uncomfortable.

"I broke up with him before I left Phoenix. That's actually when the trouble started…" I hesitated, knowing that my dad would be upset that Renee and I hadn't told him about this earlier.

"What kind of trouble, exactly?" he asked gruffly, in the tone he usually reserved for police-related business.

"You should probably sit down, Dad," I began. We sat down on the couch and he looked at me suspiciously. We both knew he wasn't going to like what he was about to hear. "After the breakup, James started harassing me. He couldn't deal with the rejection, and he resorted to threatening me. He followed me around at school, but when he showed up at the house one night, it was the last straw. I got a restraining order against him, and he's not supposed to come near me or contact me for any reason."

Charlie's face turned red and he let out a long hiss of air. "Why the hell didn't you and your mother tell me about this?" he grumbled. "I'd have driven down there with the shotgun and taken care of the problem myself."

"That's exactly why we decided not to tell you, Dad. I knew you'd overreact, and I just didn't want you to worry. The restraining order seemed to keep him away, and I was moving here soon. I thought for sure I'd never have to worry about James again…" I couldn't keep the panic from creeping into my voice.

"But, what?" he asked gruffly.

"But," I answered, sighing, "it's happening again." Charlie's face went from red to purple, but he was silent. "James knows I'm in Forks, and he's threatening to come after me. I think he means it, and I'm scared," I admitted.

Charlie scratched his chin, thinking. He stood, immediately transitioning into Chief Swan mode. "Don't you worry about him, Bells, your old man will take care of this. We'll go down to the station first thing in the morning to file the necessary paperwork. It sounds like James is in violation of the restraining order, but I'll need to take a look at it so we can decide how to proceed."

"Thanks, Dad," I sighed, feeling a little better. _At least he didn't bring up the idea of getting me a police escort!_

"I also think we should have an on-duty officer with you at all times," he added. _Perfect. My humiliation will be complete._

"Chaaaarlie," I whined childishly, "Do you really think that's necessary?"

"I'm not willing to take any chances, Bell," he responded with a note of finality.

I decided to switch tactics. "The Forks PD only has four deputies besides you, Dad. It would be a real waste of city resources to have 20% of your police force following me back and forth from school," I said reasonably.

"Hhmph," he grunted in response. "I'm the Chief and I decide what is or isn't a waste of resources."

"Fine," I said, "but this discussion is _not_ over. And thanks, Dad. I really do feel better now."

"Sure thing, Bell," he replied, awkwardly patting the top of my head. "We're leaving for the station at 7 am tomorrow, so make sure you're ready to go."

"Okay," I sighed, heading back up the stairs to my bedroom.

I couldn't help but worry about what Edward would think when I told him about James. I was pretty certain that he'd have lots of questions, and I didn't really feel comfortable talking about it yet, not even with him. There was a possibility that he could decide that my problems were too much to deal with and start avoiding me altogether and I honestly couldn't blame him if he did. I would just have to be totally honest with him and hope that wouldn't be the case.

***

Sunglasses on, travel coffee mug in hand, and sour expression on my face, I looked every bit the petulant teenager that I strived not to be as we pulled up to the police station in Charlie's cruiser. I couldn't help my bad mood, though. Not only did I have to get up at the asscrack of dawn (which I hated), but I had to ride shotgun in the police cruiser (which I also hated). Plus, I had to miss school. Normally I wouldn't mind, but now that it meant I'd be missing a few hours of sideways glances and knowing smiles from the sexiest man in the known universe, I was pissed. _I'll never get that lost time back! I wonder if he's noticed that I'm not at school yet…_

I spent the next few hours answering questions for the police report and describing in detail my recent interactions with James. Charlie was angry that I didn't tell him about the phone calls sooner, but I explained that I had been sure James was bluffing. I was free to go at lunchtime, so Deputy Mark drove me home to my car then followed me to school. _This whole police escort thing is going to get old fast._

I saw that I'd missed a couple of texts while I was at the station, but I figured I'd just look at them later, because I really wasn't in the mood to deal with anyone. When I made my way into the school, I was just in time to catch the tail end of Spanish class. I walked in to take my usual seat behind Jessica, and her head was turned to talk to some girl whose name I couldn't remember.

"Yeah, she's been out the whole morning," I heard Jess say. "I think she had to go to the doctor to get an STD screen or something," Jessica commented, giggling.

I coughed loudly, taking my seat.

"Oh, Bella!" she exclaimed when she saw me. "How's it going?"

"I'm clean," I replied, loudly enough that the other girl could hear me. "But the doc asked me to tell you that you should definitely come in and get some cream for that rash. It sounds serious."

Jessica blanched and the girl beside her snickered. _There goes your social life, bitch._

I stomped to lunch, wishing that I'd convinced Charlie to let me stay home for the rest of the afternoon. Suddenly I was not in the mood to deal with high school, and I feared for the life of the next bitch who tried to cross me.

I entered the cafeteria, grumpy and fed-up. And then I saw Edward. He was staring directly at me, with his concerned green eyes and messy bronze hair and pouty mouth. I looked at him and everything else disappeared – James and his threats, my morning in the police station, my gossipy classmates – it was only he and I. My heart gave a little tug and it was then that I knew… I was absolutely crazy for this boy.

Without thinking, I walked right over to him, grabbed a generous handful of his beautiful hair, and pressed my lips eagerly to his. Sighing at the contact, I traced my tongue lightly along his lips. _Nnngh, Edward._ I needed him so badly—I needed to feel the wet warmth of his tongue on mine. Lightly holding his strong jaw with one hand, I tilted his head to the side and when his full lips parted slightly, I licked inside his open mouth. His soft little moan was nearly my undoing.

A low whistle from somewhere behind me startled me out of my trance. I dropped down in the empty chair beside Edward, mortified. I intently studied the table, my cheeks burning. The burning sensation between my legs was measurably worse.

Of course, Emmett started in on me immediately. "Damn, Bella!" he chortled admiringly. "That was the dirtiest thing I've ever seen anyone do with their clothes on! Good thing the administrators didn't see that."

I gasped then looked around frantically, trying to ascertain whether any of the teachers in the cafeteria had seen my little display. There was only one faculty member in the cafeteria and her back was turned to our table. She was talking to someone – Alice!

"Thank God for Alice," I muttered, still looking down at the table.

"Yes, she has a knack for being in the right place at the right time," Edward chuckled. "Maybe she really _is_ psychic."

"Maybe," I agreed.

"Bella?" Edward said softly, tilting my chin up so I was forced to look at him. "What's the matter? I was worried about you when you didn't show up for class this morning. I thought perhaps you were sick, and then when you came into the cafeteria, you looked so upset." He blushed slightly. "And then this… unusual greeting. Not that I'm complaining, of course," he said, flashing me a lopsided smile.

"I had a bit of a rough morning," I admitted vaguely. "Then I saw you, and it was like it all just went away. I felt a strange little tugging sensation in my heart, pulling me towards you. I needed to touch your skin, to taste your mouth… I couldn't even control myself," I said, dropping my head back down to the table. _What the fuck? Did someone shoot me up with truth serum while my head was turned?_

"It seems to me that your heart isn't the only organ that's interested in Eddie," Emmett interjected suggestively.

I couldn't help but laugh, because he was absolutely right, though not in the way he intended. My heart, mind, and body (_yes, including my girly parts_) were all drawn to Edward in ways I couldn't even begin to understand.

The sardonic, jaded little voice in my head reminded me that all I could do was enjoy it while it lasted. Our happiness was a fragile bubble—I couldn't shake the feeling that it could pop at any moment and he'd go back to being the cold, hard person who I'd met on that first day. I just prayed he wouldn't break my heart.

I reached under the table tentatively and found Edward's large, smooth hand. I wrapped my fingers around it then looked up at him, searching his eyes for permission. His gaze was warm and reassuring and he turned his palm over, taking my hand in his and squeezing it lightly. I let out a little sigh of relief, and the inexplicable energy that flowed from his skin to mine soothed me. I closed my eyes. I was in heaven and Edward was my angel. _Any amount of heartache down the road would be worth it, just for this one perfect moment._

Edward was still holding my hand as we walked down the hallway to Biology. Our open display of affection hadn't gone unnoticed, and we were the subject of hushed conversations and open stares_. I guess our relationship has gone public. Does this mean we're dating?_

As we entered the Biology classroom and took our seats, I realized that I had a goofy grin plastered on my face. Even though I knew I probably looked like the Village Idiot, I couldn't seem stop. I glanced over at Edward, noting that he wore a similar expression. But his carefree smile was crooked and dazzling, and I found it difficult to look away.

The lecture started, and Edward and I didn't talk much because Banner was obviously in a bad mood about something. Halfway through the class, a piece of notebook paper landed on top of my lecture notes. It contained a single sentence written in Edward's flawless script.

**Are you ever going to talk to me about what's going on with you, Bella?**

I knew I was going to have to face this soon but I needed to get my thoughts together first. Sighing, I scrawled a note back to him in my own loopy hand.

**I'll tell you everything soon… I just need a little more time. How about we talk about it on Friday night? I'm not so sure I'll be able to take you to the party anymore, though. **

He just nodded to me, seemingly satisfied with my answer. Our conversation reminded me – I needed to tell Jacob that I probably wouldn't be able to make it to the party. I couldn't imagine Charlie letting me go out there, what with my police escort and everything. I got out my phone to send a covert text to Jake.

more trouble with james. charlie knows. he prob won't let me come to ur party - sorry :(

My phone buzzed right away with his response.

that sucks. u ok? call me later

I called Jake that afternoon and told him about everything that had happened. After we talked, he somehow convinced Charlie to let me come out to La Push on Friday night. He made a good point, saying that even if James showed up in person, he'd be no match for a handful of overgrown Quileute boys. Charlie trusted Jacob, and he had to agree that I'd be just as safe on the reservation with Jake and his friends as with the overweight yet well-intentioned Deputy Mark.

I was distracted all week. To make matters worse, the police car following me to and from school didn't escape anyone's notice. The rumors about me ranged from a raging heroin addiction to grand theft auto. Some creative soul even invented a story about my gang involvement back in Phoenix. To my surprise, the outlandish rumors didn't make people try to avoid me—if anything, I became more popular. _Great._

Friday arrived before I knew it and I was still really worried about my impending discussion with Edward. I had a feeling that he wouldn't take it well, but I had no idea what to expect. I decided to just tell him and let the cards fall where they may.

The evening was unseasonably warm, so I dressed for the party in a tiny pair of white cotton shorts, a slim-fitting black hoodie, and black sandals. I left my hair down in soft waves because I knew the salty breeze would eventually make it a windblown mess anyway. As I drove out to Edward's house to pick him up, I felt an uncomfortable mixture of nervous excitement and outright panic. I really hoped that he and Jake would get along, and it made me a little nervous to know that I'd be introducing them soon. I'd also told Edward that we would 'talk' tonight but I was dreading telling him about James.

Edward was on the porch waiting for me, looking downright edible in a slim grey hoodie, jeans, and a pair of sandals. I had to smirk at the way we always tended to match. When he pulled open the passenger door and slid into the seat, my nervousness evaporated. I had my favorite person (Edward) with me in my favorite place (the Audi) and for however fleeting a moment, my perfect little world was complete. He smiled and it occurred to me that I'd do just about anything to see that lopsided grin. _Quit looking at him and drive, already!_

As much as I wanted to spend the evening gawking at him wordlessly, I decided to make conversation. "So I take it this will be your first time going out to the La Push reservation?" I asked.

"Yes, I haven't had cause to venture out there until tonight," he responded.

"I think you'll like it," I said with a smile. "I used to spend a lot of time there as a kid when I was visiting Charlie. He would always drag me out to First Beach to go fishing… that is, until I got old enough to put my foot down."

Edward chuckled lightly. "So who is this 'old friend' you mentioned?" he asked.

"His name is Jacob Black. Jake and I—we kind of grew up together," I added, glancing over at Edward. He looked… pensive. "Billy Black, Jake's dad, has been Charlie's best friend for years. They're practically like family to us."

"I see. And Jake is hosting this party?"

"Yep, Jake and the rest of the Quileute boys. There is a handful of guys on the reservation around Jake's age, and I've known them all for years. It's funny, though… when I moved back, I didn't even recognize any of them! I'd say not one of those boys is under six feet tall. They say it's just the old Quileute warrior genes, but I'm thinking someone's been spiking the drinking water with human growth hormone," I said with a laugh.

"So, they're all as big as Jacob?" Edward asked, raising his eyebrows.

"Yeah—wait, when did you see Jake?" I questioned, puzzled.

"I, uh, saw him when he dropped you off for school the one day," Edward mumbled, looking down.

We didn't say anything else as I pulled the car into the little parking area facing First Beach. The sun was setting over the water and blue flames from the driftwood bonfire licked at the sky. Just as I gasped at the beauty of it, Edward reached over and took my hand. Smiling, I turned to gauge his reaction to the breathtaking scene before us, but I don't think he even saw it. He was gazing at me.

_Wow. Just, wow._

We got out of the car and I slipped my hand in his as we walked over to the beach. The party was already in full swing, with a mixture of kids from Forks and La Push talking and laughing in little groups. Some people held red plastic cups of what I figured was Warrior Punch, a noxious mixture of cherry kool-aid, everclear, and God knows what else mixed together in an appetizing 20-gallon trash can.

"Drinks are in the trashcan, if you're interested," I said, playfully nudging Edward with my elbow.

"Uh, no thanks. Drinks from a bathtub are where I draw the line. You go ahead, though," he teased.

I shrugged. "Nah. Underage drinking is not really my thing. It probably has something to do with being the Police Chief's daughter and all." Edward cocked one perfect eyebrow in my direction. For once, I knew what he was thinking. "Yeah, yeah, I realize that I'm breaking the law every time I speed. I figure I can at least make an effort to obey the others."

Edward laughed at my explanation and I smiled at the beautiful sound. A looming shadow appeared out of nowhere and before I even had a chance to blink, my hand was pulled from Edward's as I flew up into the air. Seconds later, I realized what was happening.

"Jacob Black, I swear, if you don't put me down right now you'll regret it!" I threatened as he swung me around over his shoulder.

"Ooh," Jake teased, "I'm so scared. What are you gonna do about it, twerp?"

"I'll give you a 'This is Sparta' kick to the nuts! And you _know_ I'm the perfect height for it…" I warned.

Jake considered that one for about three seconds then sat me upright on the sand. I glanced to Edward, who was still standing nearby. His eyes were narrowed and he was clearly _not_ amused. _We're already off to a great start!_

"So, Jake, I'd like you to meet my, uh… Edward Cullen," I stuttered. _My Edward Cullen? My idiocy knows no bounds._ "Edward, this is Jacob Black."

Stepping forward, Edward reached out and Jake shook his hand firmly. They both winced slightly and I could only roll my eyes. _Stupid man-politics._

"I hear you and Bella are old friends?" Edward asked politely.

"Yep. We used to make mud pies together," Jake said, laughing and turning to wink at me. "I've heard a lot about you as well," Jake added, shooting Edward a pointed glance. _Awk-ward._

Sick of the weird showdown that was going on between the two of them, I broke it up. "I see some friends of ours over there, so we're going to go say hi. I'll catch up with you a little later, though, Jake," I said, hoping he would understand.

Jacob seemed to get it, and he smiled. "Well, nice to meet you, Edward. Bells—I'll be around," he said then turned to greet a bunch of kids who were coming up the beach.

Trying to ignore the uncomfortable start, I practically pulled Edward over to a group of barely-tolerable people. Mike stood with his arm around Jessica, trying to look down her shirt while she was busy angling herself to give him the best possible view. As I approached with Edward in tow, Mike dropped his arm from her shoulder instantly. "Bella, you made it!" he said, stepping forward to hug me as I stiffened in horror. Fortunately, Edward stepped in front of me and gave Mike a withering glare, halting him in his tracks.

"Hey, Mike," I said, doing a poor job of faking enthusiasm. "Hi Jess," I added, noticing that she was regarding me with a dirty look. _Maybe this party was a really, really bad idea._

Before I was forced to make small talk with them, a huge brown hand gripped my shoulder and pulled me away from the group. Again, I dragged Edward along with me. The owner of the hand was Quil, one of Jake's friends from school. He wasn't quite as tall as Jake (only a measly 6'0" or so) but he was thicker, with bulky muscles banding his upper body.

Giving Edward a suspicious look, Quil leaned in to me and spoke in a low tone. "Don't you worry about a thing, Bells. As long as you're here, you're safe. Me and the boys have got this."

I fought the urge to roll my eyes. Edward looked pissed. "Thanks, Quil. Hopefully that's not necessary, but I appreciate it," I said quietly. Quil just nodded and went to rejoin the party.

I didn't know what Edward's deal was, but I couldn't take it anymore. If the problem was jealousy, he should be informed that that shit did _not_ fly with me. "What the fuck is with the attitude, Edward?" I asked sharply, dropping his hand.

He glared at me. "If one more of your… _acquaintances_ puts their fucking hands on you, I swear to God I'm going to lose it," he spoke in a growl.

Jake must have noticed our heated discussion, because he came marching over. "Is there a problem, here, Bella?" he asked protectively.

"No, Jake—" I began, but I was cut off by the ringing of my cell phone in my pocket. I looked at the phone and all of the blood drained from my face. The screen identified the incoming call as unknown, but I knew exactly who was calling. My hand started to tremble as I moved to silence the call.

"It's him, isn't it?" Jake practically yelled. "Give it to me! I'll talk to that motherfucker." He reached for my phone, but I pulled it away, panicking. I just wanted to ignore James in hopes that he'd give up.

Making the decision for me, Jake pinned my body to his with one long arm, easily reaching my phone with his other hand and pulling it forcibly from my grasp. Releasing me, he moved to answer my phone, but it suddenly disappeared from his hand. Edward stuffed my cell phone into his pocket and regarded Jake with a look of disgust and fury. _This is so not good._

So fast that his movement barely registered in my vision, Edward threw a right hook. His fist collided solidly with Jacob's jaw, sending Jake's huge frame toppling backwards into the sand. I heard someone scream—maybe it was me. Jake sat up, rubbing his angular jaw and cursing under his breath. I winced as he spat a mouthful of dark blood onto the sand. He took barely a moment to collect himself then returned to his feet, his dark eyes filled with rage.

I looked back and forth between him and Edward, horrified. I could tell by Jacob's face that he had every intention of retaliating, but I had no idea how far it would go. He stepped up suddenly, sticking his chest out and coming practically chin-to-nose with Edward. Desperate to stop this, I stepped between them, separating them with a hand on each of their hard-muscled chests. Jake seemed to react to my touch immediately, his breath slowing. After all these years, I knew how to deal with Jake when he was angry—I knew just what to say and do to make him calm down.

Edward, on the other hand, was a wildcard. His moods and reactions were always so unpredictable. Glaring at Jake through cold green eyes, Edward looked dangerous. I realized in that moment how little I actually knew him and the very thought twisted my stomach into a tight little knot of despair.

Making a snap decision, I turned to Jacob, pushing him backwards with all my strength. He yielded to me, stepping back in the sand, but he continued to glare angrily over my head, his fists clenched at his sides. Hoping frantically that I could get through to him, I placed my small hands on either side of Jake's face, tilting it down so he was forced to meet my eyes.

"Jake," I pleaded, "don't do this. I need you to stop." His black eyes were still alight with rage, his nostrils flared, but he didn't break my gaze. I spoke slowly, still holding his face. "I know he started it, but you can finish it. Just walk away, Jake, please. _For me_." By some miracle, Jacob nodded. Without glancing at Edward, he turned and walked away, and I've never been prouder of him than I was at that moment.

Turning to Edward, I saw that the cold fury had drained from his eyes. His expression looked… defeated. "Edward," I said, pulling him close to me without even meaning to. I was angry and hurt that he had lashed out like that and still frightened by the murderous look I'd seen in his eyes, but those feelings were overtaken by the magnetic pull of my body to his. He let me hold him but didn't wrap his arms around me. Pulling back, I looked to him questioningly and gasped at what I saw in his eyes. _Sadness. Anger. Longing. Betrayal._ I was shocked by the intensity of the emotions conveyed so brutally by his gaze. I didn't understand.

"Edward?" I asked brokenly, "What are you thinking right now?"

He didn't say a word. Instead, he simply turned his back on me and walked away. Again. Left in his wake, I dropped to my knees in the sand and began to fall apart.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11 – The Fall**

_No. No, he is not doing this to me. Not now. Not if I can help it._

As Edward cut through the crowd of people who had gathered unabashedly to watch the fight, I struggled to my feet. _I am getting really fucking sick of watching him walk away._ Something inside me snapped.

"Coward," I screamed at the top of my lungs. Edward's retreating figure stopped. "You heard me," I screamed at him again, scratching my vocal chords raw. "Come back here and face this instead of running away like a _fucking coward_," I challenged. He slowly turned to face me in the distance, his mouth hanging open in shock.

His shocked expression hardening into one of contempt, he strode purposefully towards me, stopping only a foot away from where I stood by the black water's edge. I glared at him as he stood before me, a hateful sneer curling my lips.

Barely-contained rage boiling under the surface of his icy tone, Edward spoke in a whisper. "How. Fucking. Dare. You."

"How _dare I_?" I asked with a wicked smile. "I just call it like I see it. And all I ever see is your ass walking away from me… because you're a coward." I spoke with the confidence of someone who has never been punched in the face before, and I hoped to hell he wasn't about to change my perspective.

"You drag me to this party," he said with a grimace, "just so I can watch half the guys here put their filthy paws all over you… then you… you refuse to tell me what's going on in your life despite the fact that I'm apparently the only fucking person here who doesn't know… And then when Jacob manhandles you and I try to defend you, you turn your back on me and comfort _him_? And then you have the gall to call me a fucking coward?!" Edward looked at me incredulously. "You heartless _bitch_," he spat, and his words stabbed into my chest like a knife between my ribs.

"Just hold it together for long enough to say your piece then you can go home and slit your wrists," I mumbled to myself under my breath in a woefully misguided attempt at a pep talk. _If it's gonna go down like this, I'm sure-as-shit going to get some stuff off my chest first…_

"You want to know my deep, dark secret?" I hissed in Edward's face. "Back in Phoenix, I met a guy named James. He was intelligent, gorgeous, every girl in the school wanted him… _remind you of anyone you know?_" I questioned sarcastically. "He was the first guy who ever paid any attention to me. James seemed so perfect, and he wanted _me_. Bumbling Bella Swan. Things were good for a time, but eventually I realized that he wasn't who I thought he was, so I broke it off," I spoke, pausing a moment to collect myself. "Thank God that I didn't let him push me into having sex with him," I muttered under my breath.

My rant was starting to lose steam as I was forced to revisit my own fucked-up situation, but I continued. "Unfortunately, James didn't take it so well. Between the threatening phone calls and his tendency to lurk in the bushes outside my bedroom window, I had to get a restraining order against him. And I finally thought that chapter of my life was over… I thought I'd move to Forks with my dad, start over, and just bide my time until college."

Edward stared at me intensely, silent and unmoving. I couldn't read the expression in his blazing green eyes.

"But James can't even let me do that. He's calling again, saying he's coming to get me… and he fucking knows where I am. It's bad enough that he's got me looking over my shoulder and jumping at every little noise or touch… he's the reason I can't even fucking trust anyone." I looked down, panting. _Hold it together just a little longer…_

"Are you satisfied, Edward?" I asked coldly. "Are you all _fucking_ satisfied?" I screamed at the crowd of people still gathered and staring. "Now you know what my big problem is, and why I have a police car following me to school and I'm why scared of my own shadow… And I guess that's why I'm such a '_heartless bitch'_, too!"

The entire beach was silent, save for the gentle crashing of black waves along the shore. I let out a dry sob, but I wasn't crying. _Not here, not now._

"And, Edward, just so you know, I didn't turn my back on you to 'comfort' Jacob. I just needed to diffuse the situation, and I know him better than I know my own damn self, so I knew what to say to him to get him to back off. I didn't want you two hotheads to fucking kill each other over something that's not even worth it." _I'm not worth it._

"Why didn't you come to me?" Edward asked softly. "I would have stopped. I _needed_ you to stop me. My self control is not..." he trailed off, shaking his head and looking away.

"Honestly, Edward, I had no idea what you did or didn't need. Sometimes I feel like I don't even know you. You put up so many fucking walls around yourself… I get little glimpses of the real you every once in awhile, but whenever I think I'm getting somewhere, I just find more walls. I spend most of my time standing around outside the walls kicking at the dirt and wishing to hell you'd let me in."

"That's priceless, coming from a girl with such obvious intimacy issues," Edward snorted condescendingly. In that moment of my blatant honesty, his snarky dismissal illustrated my point. And I think I hated him for it.

"You're right, of course," I laughed coldly. "You know everything." With that, it was I who turned and walked away. I wasn't running from anything, though—I'd laid it all out there. I bared my soul in front of God, Edward, and half the damn high school. And he did nothing but stretch his lean body into a defiant pose as he watched me walk away.

I stomped aimlessly down the beach, desperate to get away from the prying eyes of everyone at the bonfire. I didn't know where I was going and I didn't much care, as long as it was in the opposite direction of Edward. As weariness slowed my angry pace, I eventually took in the sights around me. Light from the full moon cast my surroundings in an almost supernatural glow. It was as though the moonlight had drained the color out from the world, and all that remained were black, white, and shades of grey.

The ocean beside me was deep and ink black with white foamy caps on the breaking waves. Reflecting the pale light from above, the water's surface glittered hauntingly. My mind reeling, I continued to walk, concentrating on the sounds of the waves lapping the shore and the padding of my feet as I trudged through the white sand. It distantly registered that I must have gotten pretty far from the party, because I could no longer hear the buzz of the crowd in the distance. The silence soothed me and I was enjoying the peace and solitude of the colorless, starlit night.

The confrontation-spurred adrenaline that had been coursing through my body, making my hands shake and my mind swim, was gone, replaced by a sort of numb serenity. I didn't feel like dealing with everything that had been said during my argument with Edward yet. I didn't want to think about the fact that I'd told him about my past and he'd probably never look at me the same way again, or that within the next twenty-four hours, every single person in Forks would know about James and why my life is so completely fucked up.

The moist, salty breeze permeated my skin and the white-noise sounds of the eerie night were like Novocain to my frayed nerves. Overwhelmed with hopelessness and exhaustion, I fell to my knees in the soft, sparkling sand. Suddenly, the rhythmic pulse of feet pounding the sand behind me reached my ears, and I froze. I instinctively looked to the dense, black forest which would be my only escape route. _Damnit, what was I thinking coming all the way out here by myself? It's fight or flight time._

The source of the sound was gaining quickly on my position, so I stood and turned to face it. I could make out Edward's unmistakable silhouette as he ran through the sand towards me. _Motherfucker._ I didn't know whether to be relieved or furious. I settled on furious. Wordlessly, he continued his approach without slowing down, stopping only when his hard body collided against the soft curves of mine, knocking the wind out of both of us.

He must have been running the whole way because his body was radiating heat, his breathing labored and his skin glistening with sweat. I inhaled the gloriously sweet smell of Edward, intensified by his perspiration. It was as though everything about him was designed to draw me in—his smell, his face, his voice… Overcome, I pressed my nose into the hollow above his collarbone, breathing in deeply. Tilting my head up, I licked the soft skin right beneath his jaw. He tasted like sugar and sin: a little salt from his sweat, mixed with sweet cinnamon and a lingering hint of smoke from the bonfire.

As quickly as I'd been drawn in, I snapped out of it. _Have some dignity, for Christ's sake._ I stepped back from his body, my eyes wide. His head was tilted back and his eyes were closed. I stared at his flawless outline, unmoving and illuminated in the moonlight. Taking a step towards me, he reconnected our bodies, pressing his to mine and looking down at me. In the surreal light, his eyes were black and full of need.

Before I could react, his frenzied lips were devouring mine and I instinctively responded, our tongues twirling and teeth nipping in an all-consuming battle. Shocked and infuriated by my own body's response to him, I broke off the kiss, panting for air. His hungry mouth tried to find my neck, but I shoved him away with both hands. He stepped toward me again, pulling my hips to his roughly and eliciting an involuntary groan from me.

I pulled back and slapped him hard across the face. Finally, he spoke. "I deserved that," he said, his voice achingly low. I hooked one hand into the front of his jeans pocket and tugged roughly, earning a deep moan from his lips. I stuck my hand down in the pocket, retrieving my cell phone.

"Thanks, that was all I needed," I said, my voice coming out low and breathy. "Now get the fuck away from me."

Edward's face fell in response to my words, leaving him looking so sad and broken that I instantly regretted having uttered them. It was too painful to look at his hurt expression, so my eyes dropped to his right hand, clutched carefully to his side. His knuckles were red and swollen, with bruises blossoming across them. I let out a little whimper, because his pain was my pain, and I gathered up his battered hand in mine and kissed it gently.

I was on a hellish rollercoaster of emotions. I knew my actions were sending mixed signals, but that's exactly how I felt… mixed up. I just didn't know what to do with Edward. I loved him, but I hated him. He made me feel so good, but he infuriated me in turn. Being with him was beautiful and hurtful, hopeful and tragic, and I had no idea how I'd get through all of this intact. As it was, I was barely holding on. I needed more—this precarious dance on the blade of a sword was growing old and I was getting weary. I struggled with my words until, finally, they came blurting out.

"I can't do this anymore," I said, and when the words left my lips I knew they were true. I just couldn't do it anymore. "I know I was all for keeping it light, casual, uninvolved… whatever you want to call it. But I can't do it. I need more. I don't need an enemy or an opponent—someone to fight or trade insults with. I want a friend, a lover… someone to be on _my_ side," I confessed, my voice breaking as tears stung my eyes. "I thought I was strong enough to be on my own, not needing anyone, but I guess I'm not. I'm just scared and alone."

Edward wrapped his arms around my shoulders and sat down in the sand, pulling me into his lap so my back rested against his chest. At the tender gesture, my sobs broke free, and he held me quietly while I cried, rocking us gently back and forth.

"I'm here now," he said softly, "and I'm yours. You can have me in whatever capacity you'll take me. Take everything I have—it all belonged to you from the very start."

Held against Edward's warm body, wrapped in his strong arms as his velvet voice whispered in my ear, I felt complete. It wasn't as though my weakness took refuge in his strength, it was more like we balanced each other. He drew as much strength from me as I from him, and I knew he needed me, too. I turned to kiss his soft, beautiful mouth, and our lips moved together in a gentle, sweet rhythm.

We broke off our kiss when a loud whistle sounded from the forest lining the beach. A tall, dark figure emerged and walked over to where we were sitting. When he stepped into the moonlight, I immediately recognized Jacob.

"Hi, guys," he said amicably as he approached. "Sorry to interrupt. It's just, uh… I don't mean to scare you, Bells, but we think there might be someone in the woods. It could be a person, or an animal… no one got close enough to get a good look, but I think we should probably get you home, just in case."

"Wait," I said, struggling to catch up, "you've been in the woods this whole time? You followed me?"

"Yeah, of course," he said automatically. "We wanted to give you some space, but did you really think we'd let you wander out to the middle of nowhere by yourself? Of course, you're safe now that Edward's here," he said with a grin. "Dude hits like an anvil… trust me, I know." Still smiling, Jake rubbed his chin at the memory.

"Yeah, and you've got a hard head," Edward joked. "I think it broke my friggin' hand."

I just looked back and forth between the two of them, incredulous. _Since when did they become BFFs? _I rolled my eyes, but I was pleased that the two of them seemed to have worked out their differences. The three of us walked back down the beach to where my car was parked in comfortable silence. Perhaps I should have been concerned about whomever (or whatever) was creeping around in the woods, but I'd never felt safer in my life than I did walking between Jake and Edward.

Surprising myself, I relinquished the keys to the Audi and let Edward drive me home. He handled my car skillfully (_almost as well as I do_) and as we drove the silence between us was charged with our unspoken words.

"You know," Edward began, "Jacob really cares about you. I'm sorry I overreacted… I guess I just let jealousy get the best of me. His friends seem like good guys, too. It's just that you and I never really made anything official, you know… between us… so I was feeling pretty insecure." He paused, blushing, and I could sense he had more to say.

"What is it, Edward?" I prodded.

"This is embarrassing," he muttered. "I, uh, saw you with Jake before, outside your house. He was lugging around like you were his favorite toy, and even though I wasn't even speaking to you at the time, it almost made my head explode. I've wanted to hit him ever since then."

I gasped, disbelieving. "That was_ you_? What did you do, circle the block like twenty times? I thought every single person in Forks had purchased a silver car just to drive it by my house and fuck with me," I said, laughing. "Perfect. I end a relationship with one stalker, just to get involved with another one," I teased.

Edward's jaw clenched. _Oops. I guess I took that one a little too far…_ "You should have told me about James," he began. "You didn't have to be afraid. I would never let anyone hurt you," he said, turning to look at me, his green eyes burning with intensity.

I didn't know what to say to that, so I tried to lighten the mood. "Well, I didn't realize that at the time," I teased. "I thought you were just a Volvo-driving pretty boy, before I saw you pull that UFC shit on Jake." My weak attempt at humor fell flat.

"I'm serious, Bella."

"I know," I responded with a sigh. "I thought that you wouldn't want to be with me once you heard about my issues. I mean, who wants to get involved with a girl who has some psycho after her?"

"I do," he replied solemnly. "I mean, not specifically," he corrected and we both laughed, "but I want _you_. And if you happen to come complete with a psycho stalker, then I'll deal with it."

We pulled into my driveway then, but neither of us moved to get out of the car. I was so glad to finally get everything out in the open with Edward, and I decided that I'd never get a better opportunity to tell him about my last night with James.

"James really scares me," I confided, reaching over the console to grasp Edward's hand gingerly, taking care to avoid his bruised knuckles. "At first, I just thought I was intimidated by the fact that he was handsome and intelligent, but after I got to know him better, I realized it was deeper than that. Under his charming demeanor, sometimes I'd catch a little glimpse of something sinister. It was mostly when we… wow, this is really hard to talk about," I said, blushing.

"It's okay, Bella, you can talk to me about this," he reassured me. "Do you mean when the two of you were… physical?" He cleared his throat, his tone even, but I noticed that the hand that wasn't holding mine clenched into a tight fist.

"Yeah," I admitted. "He was never exactly, uh, loving or gentle with me. And that was fine, usually—I just chalked it up to raging teenage hormones. But then," I paused, struggling with the words, "one time I asked him to stop, and I didn't think he was going to."

_I thought for sure he was going to take my virginity, whether I wanted to give it to him or not. _Remembering the cold, calculating look in James's eyes that night, I shuddered. Edward said nothing, but his jaw was tight and he stared at me with a fierceness in his eyes that I couldn't interpret.

Taking a deep breath, I continued. "It's okay, though. I threatened him with unspeakable things, and I finally got him off of me. It was completely over after that. The next day, after he'd had a chance to calm down, I told him we were through."

I searched Edward's eyes for some reaction – maybe judgment or disgust or disbelief – but all I found there were compassion and understanding. "I've actually, uh, never told anyone about that before. It was such a private thing and I never felt the need to. I wanted you to know, though," I added, looking down at my lap.

A large, smooth hand tilted my chin back up to meet Edward's gaze. His look was so intense, I thought it would bore right through me. "Isabella," he breathed, "I will never let anyone hurt you again."

When my vision darkened, I realized that I'd stopped breathing. I inhaled, and the fact that my car was filled with Edward's man-boy-cinnamon-sex scent did nothing to clear my head. "I should probably go inside, but I don't want to leave you," I said, biting my lower lip.

"Then I'll stay," he said simply.

"Uh, that's unlikely. Charlie is home. If you come into the house with me right now, you'll either end up at the business end of his shotgun or with his size 12 boot up your ass," I stated truthfully.

"Let me handle the details," Edward said with a mischievous little grin. "You just go on in and get ready for bed."

"O-kay," I said skeptically, getting out of my car and heading for the house.

_Wait,_ _how is Edward getting home?! Is he really planning to stay here?_ In my Edward-induced haze, it had completely escaped my notice that he neglected to drop himself off at his own house.

I stopped to question him, but he was gone. _What the fuck?_

Turning back to the house, I saw Charlie peering out at me though the living room window. "Hey, Char—uh, Dad," I said cheerfully as I came into the living room.

"Hi, Bells," he responded. "Did you have a good time out at La Push?"

"Yeah, it was… interesting. Jake said to tell you 'hi', by the way. Well, I'm pretty tired, so I'm going to bed," I announced, hoping my voice didn't sound as suspicious to Charlie's ears as it did to my own. Charlie just grunted in response, so I guess he bought it.

I bounced up the stairs, laughing to myself. _Ha._ _There's no way in hell Edward is ever getting past Charlie. _ I could feel the grit of sand still stuck between my toes from the beach, so I went down the hallway to take a quick shower before the 'show' started. I was quite confident that if Edward actually worked up the nerve to try to sneak up to my room, my dad would undoubtedly catch him and hilarity would ensue. _He is the Chief of Police, after all!_

I sudsed up quickly then shut off the water, wrapped a towel around myself, and practically skipped back to my bedroom. Closing the door behind me, I turned to dig some pajamas out of my dresser but instead froze in terror. There was someone looking in my second story bedroom window.

_Oh, it's Edward._

Feeling a draft on my damp skin, I looked down and realized with horror that I had dropped my towel. Edward seemed to notice at the same instant that I did, because his expression changed from one of amusement to absolute shock. Before I could react, he disappeared from my view.

I gathered up my towel and ran over to the window, opening it to peer down. Directly below my window, Edward was sprawled out on his back in a shrub. I pulled on my usual sweatpants and a camisole, then ran down the stairs and out the front door, making the excuse to Charlie that I forgot something in my car.

"Oh my God, are you okay?" I whispered as I walked over to Edward, who had extricated himself from the shrub.

"I didn't see anything," he announced, ignoring my question. "Don't get me wrong, I wanted to, but I fell out of the tree before I could focus my eyes."

I looked him over, and he didn't seem to have sustained any serious injuries. "Are you all right, Edward?" I repeated. "You just fell two stories out of a tree!"

"Yeah," he grinned sheepishly, "I'm fine. Luckily, this bush here broke my fall. I think I kind of ruined it, though." We both turned to examine the shrub, and I agreed that it was, in fact, fucked up beyond repair.

"Well, since you survived the fall, are you up for giving this another try?" I asked hopefully.

"Absolutely," he responded with a grin. "I'll climb the tree again, you go upstairs and take your clothes off.

"Nice try, smartass. You had your free show—these pajamas are staying put."

"Damn," I heard him say as I closed the front door behind me.

Running upstairs, I opened my bedroom window just in time to see Edward scaling the tree with an almost feline grace. I watched in awe of his impressive upper body strength as he swung agilely into the room. _Damn, he looks good in my bedroom. He'd look even better in my bed. Naked._

He looked around at my small, somewhat cluttered room, then glanced at me shyly. "Hi," he said with an adorable grin.

"Hi," I responded, sitting down on the edge of my bed and patting the space beside me.

"Bella, I hope you don't think it's presumptuous of me, asking to stay here. Honestly, I just really don't want to leave you—especially not now that I know about James. I feel very… protective of you."

"I don't think it's presumptuous at all," I reassured him. "I'm so glad that you're here," I said, a goofy smile stretching across my face.

"Want to lay down with me?" I asked, peeling back the covers and looking at him with one cocked eyebrow. I'd swear he stopped breathing. "It's okay, Edward, I won't bite. Well," I amended, "I won't bite hard, anyway."

He pulled off his hoodie, leaving only a white t-shirt underneath, and climbed under the comforter beside me. I snuggled up to his warm, hard body and if I could purr with pleasure, I would have. _I have Edward Cullen in my bed! This is actually happening!! _

Trembling with nervous excitement, I was hyper-aware of every point where our skin was in contact. I tried to ignore my body's response to Edward, though, because I wanted to take this opportunity to really talk to him and get to know him better.

"So… what do you want to be when you grow up?" I asked him as I played with the hem of his t-shirt.

He stretched an arm over my shoulders so I could nuzzle closer into the space under his arm. "I want to go to a good college," he mused. "Maybe somewhere on the East Coast."

"Ah. A man after my own heart," I replied.

"I think I'd like to study psychology or chemistry, then I want to go to medical school. I eventually want to be a doctor, like Carlisle."

"You really look up to him."

"Yes," Edward agreed. "He's the kindest, most compassionate person I've ever met. I strive to be like him, though I don't always do a very good job. How about you, Bella? What are your aspirations?"

"I want to go to a good college," I said, repeating his words, "maybe somewhere on the East Coast." Edward smiled down at me. "Then I'd like to go to graduate school and study literature. I'd really like to write, someday." I sighed happily and Edward chuckled, a low rumble vibrating in his chest. He began to run his fingers lazily through my hair and I literally cooed. _Like a goddamn pidgeon._ I didn't care, though, because I was in heaven.

"How old were you when Esme and Carlisle adopted you?" I questioned. I hoped it wasn't a sensitive subject, but I wanted to know every little detail about his life. "If you don't mind my asking, of course," I added.

"Not at all. I was very young when they took me in—barely a toddler. I don't really even remember my birth parents. Carlisle was a friend of my father's, and when my parents were killed in a car accident, he and Esme adopted me and raised me as their own. I consider myself truly lucky—I couldn't ask for more loving parents."

"They must be wonderful people," I agreed.

"My mother's name was Elizabeth. Esme says I look quite a bit like her, with the same auburn hair and green eyes. Apparently I'm built like my father, Edward Sr. Their last name was Masen, but I took the Cullen name because Carlisle and Esme are my parents for all intents and purposes. I wish I could remember my birth parents, but I was so young. Perhaps it's better that way, though."

"Perhaps," I said, my mind focused on the beautiful boy beside me. _He's so lucky. His life could have been so much worse, if it weren't for Esme and Carlisle._

"I have a few things of my mother's," Edward continued, "just some baubles of hers that Esme kept for me. Sometimes I look at them and feel closer to her, somehow."

He was quiet for awhile, and we just lay together, him stroking my hair and me gleefully tracing little patterns on his stomach.

"I miss my mom," I said quietly. "Renee is my best friend. She was always more like a sister, really. She had me when she was only 19, and in some ways, we grew up together. Renee was always the irresponsible one, the polar opposite of me. Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to have a real mother, though, someone who could offer _me_ guidance and comfort _me_, rather than the reverse." My last word stretched into an involuntary yawn, and Edward laughed softly.

He reached over and pulled the little chain on my bedside lamp, then turned over, gathering me into his chest. "Sleep now, my Bella," he whispered into my ear. There in his arms, it felt like home and I fell into the deepest, most peaceful sleep I'd ever experienced.

I awoke in the morning, stretching, and I noticed that Edward was gone. A frown settled onto my face as I rubbed the sleep from my eyes. When my vision adjusted to the hazy morning light, I noticed a piece of paper on the pillow beside me. I pounced on it greedily, laughing when I discovered that the note was written in purple crayon.

**Dearest Bella,**

**I'm sure you're laughing at me right now. Impossibly, purple crayon was the only writing utensil I could find in your room, emasculating though it is. I went home to shower and pick up my car. Due to your comments last night, I live in fear of Chief Swan, his shotgun, and his size 12 boot. If he asks about the bush, please don't mention my name. I'll be back shortly to make a proper appearance at your front door. **

**Love,**

**Edward**

**P.S. – In the spirit of the crayon-written note, please answer me a single question.**

**Will you be my girlfriend? (Circle one)**

**Yes**

**No**

**Maybe**


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12 – Boyfriend**

Buzzing from the undeniably adorable note, I showered and dressed happily, then went downstairs to eat breakfast with Charlie. He didn't comment on my uncharacteristically good spirits, even though I'm usually a total beast before I ingest my first cup of coffee. Sucking it up, I decided to tell Charlie about Edward and just get it over with.

"Dad," I began, choosing my words carefully, "there's someone I'd like you to meet. He's coming over later to pick me up, and I want you to be nice to him."

"Oh, yeah?" Charlie asked, furrowing his brow suspiciously. "Is this guy your boyfriend or something?"

"Well, yes, I guess he is," I admitted, an uncontrollable grin appearing on my face as a sudden blush stained my cheeks.

"Isn't it a little soon for that?" he questioned, wearing an expression of obvious disapproval. "You just moved here and you've already got a boyfriend? I'd think after what happened with the last one, you'd be done with boys for awhile."

I sighed. I'd hoped that Charlie wouldn't go there… "That's not fair, Dad. Edward is nothing like James."

"Edward?" Charlie interrupted. "Dr. Cullen's boy?"

"That's the one. You know, the same Edward who saved me from certain demise at the hands of one Tyler Crowley and his out-of-control minivan?"

"Hhmph," Charlie grunted, nodding his head. He looked like he wanted to say more, but seemingly unable to find the words, he just resumed eating his breakfast in silence.

"Edward's a good guy, Dad," I said reassuringly.

"He sure as hell better be," Charlie grumbled, and I knew that was as close to his approval as I was going to get.

There was a knock at the door, and as I leaped up to answer it, Charlie assumed his place on the couch in the living room. It didn't escape my notice that he pulled his holster off the hook as he went through the hallway. Sure enough, when I invited Edward into the living room, there Charlie sat, holster (containing his .9mm Beretta) propped threateningly beside his leg.

I couldn't help but roll my eyes. _Does he have to get the gun out for every boy who comes near me? Though if he'd shot James, it might have saved me a whole lot of trouble…_

"Dad, this is Edward," I said, making introductions. "Edward, this is my dad, Chief Swan."

Looking each other squarely in the eye, they shook hands firmly. "It's nice to meet you, uh, Edward," Charlie said stiffly.

Anxious to get going, I began pulling Edward towards the door. "Same to you, Chief Swan," he responded. "I'll take good care of your daughter."

I rolled my eyes again. _I can fucking take care of myself. I don't need two cavemen discussing it…_ I snorted, recalling that the last time Edward thought he was 'taking care' of me, he ended up punching one of my best friends in the face.

I inched us closer to the front door. "Okay, Dad, we're going now. I'll see you later."

Charlie grunted his assent, and we were almost free. Almost. "Bella, before I forget to ask you… Do you have any idea what happened to my shrub out front?"

Edward froze immediately and I bit my lip to keep from laughing. "No, Dad. What's wrong with it?" I asked, the picture of mock innocence.

"It's the damndest thing—the shrub's practically destroyed. There's a big mashed-down spot in the middle of it, and I know it must have taken one helluva force to do that kind of damage. Those things are so big and hearty… that's why I got that kind. It would really take some work to mess one up that badly…" he rambled, rubbing his chin in thought. _Wow, that's the most words I've ever heard him say in succession since, well, ever. _

Edward's eyes were huge, so I drew out this priceless moment. "I don't know, Dad. Maybe an animal… attacked it?" I said, working hard to keep the corners of my lips from turning up.

"No," Charlie said seriously, "animals don't attack shrubs."

"Maybe it was a bad storm?" I offered.

"Localized to one of three shrubs in the yard?" Charlie asked, not buying it.

"Tornado!" Edward muttered suddenly, and both Charlie and I turned to look at him questioningly. "What I mean is," he continued in a more collected manner, "small, localized tornadoes have been known to touch down in one small area, leaving the surroundings untouched." My dad and I wore matching expressions of incredulity. "What? It's a common phenomenon. You can Google it," Edward said, shrugging.

With that, I finally succeeded in pulling Edward out the door and closing it behind us. We spent the afternoon at his house, talking and watching movies with his siblings. It felt so natural – so _right_ – to cuddle up beside him on the couch, and I floated through the evening in my own personal boy-induced coma of contentedness.

He didn't mention the note, and neither did I. I had circled my response with the obligatory purple crayon, but I wanted to wait until school on Monday to give it to him (in keeping with the spirit of said note). After bickering good-naturedly for most of the evening about who would pick up whom for school, we agreed to just meet there.

I spent Sunday doing homework and chores, all the while thinking about Edward. Even doing something as mundane as laundry couldn't keep my mind off of him.

_I can feel someone watching me. The sensation makes the fine hair stand up on my arms and the back of my neck. As I bend over to put another load of clothes in the dryer, Edward steps up behind me. He grabs my hips roughly, grinding his prominent hard-on into my ass with an animalistic groan. I push back against him and he loses control, spinning me around violently and pinning me to the dryer with his hips. _

_He tears off my clothes in a fury of frantic hands and ripping fabric. As I stand there, naked and vulnerable, his eyes rake shamelessly over my body. He kisses me once, hot and hard, then unbuttons the fly of his jeans. Reaching into his boxer briefs, he pulls out his thick, hard, perfect cock and I can't help but gasp and bite my lip in anticipation of what I'm about to feel. He lifts me up by the hips, sitting me on top of the dryer, and plunges one long, elegant finger deep inside my overheated core, testing my wetness._

_I don't recognize the breathy whimper that escapes my lips. He withdraws his slick finger, pulling it to his mouth and sucking it clean so quickly that I'm not sure it really happened. With a wicked half-smile, I reach behind me and press a button on the dryer, starting the cycle of heated metal, slight rocking, and low, humming vibrations._

_With a grunt of abandon, he steadies my hips with splayed fingers and enters me fully in one long stroke. I scream, because the feelings of stretching and fullness and need are nearly too much to bear. My eyes roll back in my head as he withdraws slightly, and he's so big and I'm stretched so tightly that I can feel every little ridge and contour of his slick, hard cock as it slides against my taut inner lips._

_He sets a steady rhythm, and with every thrust his unyielding hardness stretches and molds my tight walls to fit the contours of his body. Suddenly, he angles my hips down slightly, and this time when he slams into me he grinds his pubic bone against my clit. Sensations I've never felt before bubble up in my stomach, and I don't know what's happening to my body but I don't think I can handle it. I cry out from the unbearable tension. He's rocking against me, holding me tightly to his body, filling me completely, and the dryer beneath me is warm and humming, and I surrender to his will._

_I feel the buildup, like a torturous crescendo of sensation in my stomach, then the waves of pleasure crash over me, pulling me under. I scream as my inner muscles contract around him, my legs locking tightly around his waist, and I feel him twitch inside me as he silently fills me with hot streams of his release. I collapse against his chest, completely and utterly owned by the man still spasming and twitching between my legs._

I woke up to the buzzing of my alarm clock and the highly unpleasant sensation of damp, sticky pajama shorts. _Eww, seriously? Wet dreams are for little boys with boner problems. And me, apparently. Cool! _I laughed inwardly, wondering if the one and only E.C. was as good in reality as he'd been in my dream. _Cocky bastard, he's probably even better—that's why he wears that damned knowing smirk all the time. _

Fighting a ridiculous grin, I practically leapt out of bed and down the hall, anxious to step into the warm, soothing shower water. _I am in a fuckawesome mood today! I need a theme song!_ I docked my iPod, selected my "Scandalous" playlist, and cranked up the volume so I could hear it in the bathroom. I danced and sang along with Ludacris to _What's Your Fantasy_ as I straightened my hair and did my makeup. Feeling somewhat scandalous myself, I put on a denim skirt (the same one I vowed not to wear to school again) with an emerald green sweater. The sweater had a low neck, was tight as hell, and was the exact shade of Edward's eyes. _My new favorite color._

I cranked up the radio and rocked out on the drive to school, for once not even minding the police cruiser tailing me. _Good morning, Deputy Mark_. I saluted him in the rearview mirror with my coffee cup.

Rolling gracefully into a parking spot, I immediately started looking for Edward, his little pixie of a sister, and the rest of the obnoxiously good-looking Cullen family. Much to my dismay, I stepped out of the Audi and directly into the path of Jessica and Lauren. They wore matching, snide little smirks, and I feared that my good mood was about to come to an abrupt end. I plastered a pleasant smile on my face as they walked up. Lauren's smile faltered slightly – _What, was she expecting a tear-stained mess?_

Jess started in on me immediately. "Oh my god, Bella, you must be like totally humiliated! I'm so surprised you even showed up to school today after what happened on Friday night. I mean… screaming at Edward like that and telling him all about your little stalker problem? I'm sure he'll never speak to you again!"

"As a matter of fact," Lauren interjected, "since you blew your chances, can I get Edward's number? I mean, it's only fair… That's what friends do, right? They hook each other up?"

Perhaps I should have been furious, but I laughed in her face. And once I got started, I couldn't stop—I was practically doubled over with laughter. Finally, I straightened up and collected myself, wiping the tears from the corners of my eyes. The look on Lauren's face was priceless.

"Oh, wait, you're serious?" I asked. An evil little thought occurred to me, so of course, I went with it. "You're right, it's only fair. I'll ask him if he wants to give it to you."

Lauren smiled triumphantly, and it was not an attractive sight. "And, of course, you're welcome to come back to our lunch table," she said imperiously. "I mean, we don't really mind that everyone will be staring at you… because obviously word has spread about your _problems_."

Jessica wore an unabashed look of awe. "Yeah, Bella, a stalker? That's so cool! Is he cute? I wish someone would stalk me…" she trailed off, looking wistful.

_Are you fucking kidding me? Someone please save me before I stab a pencil in my eye just for an excuse to end this conversation!_

My silent pleas were answered… the clouds parted and angels somewhere started playing harps and shit and Edward strode across the parking lot towards us, his tousled bronze hair fluttering slightly in the breeze. My breaths quickened as I took in the strong, angular line of his jaw and his pouty pink lips. _Hot damn, I will never get tired of looking at that boy._ Long, black eyelashes fringed his gorgeous green eyes, and when he looked at me from beneath them, I swooned. Literally.

When my knees wobbled, threatening to buckle under me, my hip bumped Jessica and she tottered into Lauren, knocking the waiflike girl to her ass on the pavement with an "oof". Catching sight of Edward, Jess and Lauren froze in place, transfixed as they watched the godlike creature approach.

Edward took no notice of them, his gorgeous eyes locked instead on mine. Taking my hand in his, he lifted it to his lips and grazed it with a gentle kiss. "I've missed you," he said softly, lowering my hand to my side but keeping his grasp on it.

"And I, you," I whispered back. He started to lead me away, but I stopped him, and he turned to look at me questioningly. "Hey Edward," I asked with a naughty smirk, "Lauren wanted me to ask if she could have your phone number."

He still looked confused. "Who's Lauren?"

"The one on the ground," I said unceremoniously, pointing to her as she looked up at Edward with what she must have imagined was a seductive stare. _Creepy. _

He addressed her politely, but his tone held a twinge of distaste. "I'm sorry, uh, Lauren, but I don't give out my private number to the general public."

I crouched down in front of Lauren, who was still sprawled on the pavement. Leaning in, I stopped when my nose was a mere inch away from hers. "If you _ever_ so much as bat your fake fucking eyelashes at my boyfriend again, I swear upon all that's holy that I will make you regret it," I growled in a tone so menacing that I could see the hair stand up on her forearms.

_Fucking whore. I'll shove those skanky hair extentions down her scrawny throat._

Standing, I let Edward lead me by my hand into the school, and he held the front door open for me to enter. He walked me to our first class, stopping outside the door. "I believe you have something for me?" he asked, holding out his hand expectantly. _Huh? Oh, yeah._ I withdrew a folded piece of paper from my pocket and handed it to him, then slipped into the classroom before he could respond. He came in behind me, his hopeful expression melting into a heartbreakingly beautiful grin as he unfolded the note and examined it.

Out of nowhere, Alice appeared in the doorway of our classroom. "This requires a celebration," she squealed, to the confusion of the half-full class. "You. Me. Saturday," she said, pointing directly at me. "Clear your schedule." Without waiting for a response, she bounced off down the hall.

"How does she know?" I asked Edward, bemused. "Psychic," we both mumbled at the same time.

The rest of the week flew by. I was ecstatic about my new "legit" relationship status with Edward, but my life was far from perfect. I still had my faithful police escort, and I couldn't ignore the fact that my issues with James were now the prime topic of discussion at Forks High. I sat with the Cullens every day at lunch, and that never failed to be an entertaining experience.

Edward snuck into my room on Wednesday night, and we talked and cuddled again. It was spectacular, but this time the air was filled with a tangible sexual tension that threatened to suffocate us both. Still, I didn't act on my urges, because I was unwilling to make the first move again. Whenever I attacked him in the past, I always seemed to humiliate myself, so that was incentive enough for me to wait for him to initiate something.

Saturday came in a flash, and, true to her word, Alice dragged me to a spa in Port Angeles. Alice was a liberated little being, as well as my best girlfriend, so I decided that I'd take the opportunity to talk to her about some things that been weighing heavily on my mind. She picked me up early in her little yellow Porsche and we sped off towards the spa, singing along with the radio.

After our song ended, I turned the volume down. "So, Alice," I began, "what's on the docket for today?"

"We're scheduled for Brazilian waxes at 10 am, pedicures at 11, then shopping afterwards," she responded happily.

"Argh," I cringed, "10 am is a little early to have someone touching my naughty parts."

She giggled. "Does your crotch have business hours, like a bank?"

"Not so much like a bank… more like an amusement park," I joked. "But even if you'd made the appointment for later, I'd still be trying to find a way to get out of it." _Of course I would! It hurts like a dirty motherfucker when they pull off those wax strips._

"Chicken shit," Alice teased, and I shrugged.

"Speaking of me being a chicken shit," I began, "there's something that I've wanted to talk to you about, but I've been uncertain of how to broach the subject." Her eyes widened, but she nodded for me to go on. "And I hope this isn't weird for you, but you're one of my best friends and I can't imagine discussing this with anyone else."

"Don't worry about it," she said, waving her hand to dismiss my concerns. "Nothing you can say will bother me. After being around Rosalie and Emmett for so long, I'm totally desensitized to the topic of sex as it relates to my family."

_How does she know this is about sex? I guess the fact that I'm so red I'm almost purple is probably a dead giveaway…_

I decided to be blunt. "I've been thinking a lot about Edward. Specifically, sex with Edward. More specifically, hot, filthy dryer-sex with Edward."

She giggled again. "I'm pretty sure it's normal to have sexual thoughts about your boyfriend."

"Well, it's just that… I'm a virgin." Alice's jaw dropped, but I continued. "Every time I see your brother lately, I just want to, well, hump him like a farm animal. But, we seem to have had an unspoken hands-above-the-waist policy so far."

"You're a virgin?" she asked, obviously surprised.

"What? Yes," I huffed. _Is it so friggin' hard to believe?_

"Sorry, I meant no offense, it's just really difficult to surprise me. There's something about your confidence, the way you hold yourself… I just didn't have you pegged for a virgin," she said.

"I mean, James and I did pretty much everything else, but we never had sex. It's not like he didn't try to push me into it, but I never wanted to. Everything is different with Edward, though," I admitted, blushing faintly.

"Well, you have nothing to worry about," Alice reassured me. "My brother is quite experienced in that department, so he'll make your first time memorable, to say the least. He's kind of a man-whore," she said with a laugh. She saw the horrified look on my face, then quickly corrected herself. "He's a reformed man-whore, I should say. If anyone could change my brother's slutty ways, it would be you. I've never seen him look at anyone the way he looks at you, Bella. Not even Tanya." _Wait, what??_

She muttered the last part under her breath, so low that I wasn't sure I heard her correctly. "Who's Tanya?" I asked.

"Shit. Look, Bella, she was the closest thing Edward ever had to a girlfriend. They started dating freshman year. Things didn't work out, and he was even more of a he-slut afterwards." She sighed. "Even I don't know all of the details." We pulled up to the spa, so instead of pressing for more information, I filed that one away for later review.

_I forgave him his past, but he never told me about an almost-girlfriend…_

After our waxes and pedicures, the next stop was an upscale lingerie store, where Alice goaded me into spending an obscene amount of money on some equally obscene scraps of lace. I picked out a few lacy thongs with matching lace bras, as well as some more casual pieces. Alice forced upon me a gorgeous little pair of underwear in a mauvey pink—they were made of a delicate lace, sat dangerously low on the hips, and the material felt lighter than air. They had a scandalously sheer lace bra to match (which she also insisted I buy). I tried them on in the dressing room, and I had to admit that the color looked amazing with my skin tone. Alice looked pleased with herself, like she had a secret that she didn't want to share. _Weird little pixie._

We arrived back home in the afternoon. After showering again, I put on a cute pair of boyshorts, made of delicate blue lace, and a matching bra. I was secretly hoping that Edward would discover them later. _If he doesn't make a move soon, I'm going to have to molest him._

Charlie was called in to work for the evening, and he probably wouldn't be home until late, so I called Edward and invited him over. About an hour later, he arrived at the door, looking impossibly perfect. Between his beautiful eyes and his unkempt hair and his perfect body and his fucking smell… _nngh_. I couldn't take it anymore. I tugged him into the house, pushed him down on the couch, and jumped on him.

"Why hello to you, too," Edward said against my lips as I smothered him with kisses. Without warning, he rolled us over so he was lying on top of me on the couch, supporting his weight on his elbows. _Hell, yes. _With one hand on the back of my neck, he angled my face up, giving him full access to my lips. He kissed me, immediately filling my mouth with the wet warmth of his tongue. I couldn't help but groan at the sensation, because he tasted every bit as good as he smelled.

Our lips and tongues and teeth met frantically, nipping and sucking and tasting, and when we stopped to catch our breath, he moved to plant warm, wet kisses down my neck. Lost to the sensation, I closed my eyes and prayed he wouldn't stop. He didn't stop. His long, elegant fingers moved under the hem of my sweater, pushing it up the smooth skin of my stomach until his fingertips met the edge of my bra. Edward looked up at me questioningly, his eyes half-lidded with lust, and I nodded, biting my lip.

"Wait!" I cried out, and he paused immediately, wearing a confused expression. "Upstairs!" I said, because apparently he'd reduced me to forming one-word sentences.

Wordlessly, he scooped me up in his arms like I weighed nothing and ran me up the stairs to my room, kicking the door shut behind us and resting me softly on the bed. "Now, where were we?" he asked, in a low, gravelly voice that inspired a little flood of wetness to pool between my legs.

In response, I held my arms above my head, and he gently pulled my sweater off. Edward gasped when he saw the translucent blue lace of my bra, and his hands glided reverently over the skin of my stomach, then traced the edge of my bra. When he moved up to gently cup my breasts, he let out a little groan, and I couldn't help but whimper at his touch.

_I wonder if he likes my tits. He seems to, because he's staring at them like they contain the secrets of life._ _Are they as nice as Tanya's?_ "Are they as nice as Tanya's?" _Shit. I did _not_ just say that out loud._

He stopped what he was doing immediately and looked up, a shocked expression on his beautiful face. His hair was even messier than usual, and his pretty pink mouth was swollen from his efforts. His only response to my words was a strangled cry of confusion and horror.

_Fucking great. I may as well put my shirt back on now, because I totally killed the moment. I am an indescribable idiot._


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13 – Mistakes**

_What is wrong with me? I'm certain that it would take scientists millions of dollars and decades of research to figure that one out…_

"Uh… fuck," I stated. _Brilliant recovery._ "My inner monologue doesn't seem to be working properly at the moment."

Edward just stared at me, dumbfounded. "Did you say _Tanya_?" he managed.

"No. I mean, well, yeah," I mumbled regretfully. I decided to come clean, because at this point there was no way it could worsen the situation… "Alice accidentally mentioned her name to me today. She said Tanya was the closest you ever came to having a girlfriend before me."

"And you thought it would be a good idea to discuss this while I was feeling you up?" he questioned in a condescending tone.

_Oh, fuck, no. If he values his balls, he will _not_ try to get snotty with me right now._

Scrambling up on the bed, I grabbed a t-shirt and threw it over my head to cover myself. "Sorry I ruined your moment," I sneered sarcastically. "I'd hate to let my inane thoughts interrupt your grope-fest."

Automatically, his face softened. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be rude. I'm not upset with you, I'm just surprised, and I regret that you had to find out about Tanya that way."

"Yeah? Well, I fucking regret that I had to find out that way, too," I replied, still irritated that he'd snapped at me. "I obviously can't be upset that you dated other people before we met, but you could have at least had the decency to tell me about her."

"Honestly," Edward replied, looking deeply into my eyes, "I didn't even think to tell you about her. She meant nothing to me; our little 'arrangement' just lasted longer than most."

"Why was that?" I asked softly, unsure of whether I really wanted to know the answer.

Edward hesitated before answering, as if carefully considering his words. _Shit, this must be bad._ "Tanya and I had an undeniable physical chemistry," he explained, and I winced. "She used me just as I used her, and it kind of… worked for us, for awhile. Our relationship was satisfying, like scratching an itch, but neither of us had delusions that it was anything more than just sex. Eventually, she moved on to her next conquest as I did the same, and we parted ways amicably."

I studied my blanket closely, bunching and releasing it with my fingers as I absorbed his words. I was glad he never had anything deeper than a physical relationship with Tanya, but I couldn't help but recoil from his callous attitude towards the whole situation. Edward placed his fingers underneath my chin, tilting my head up so I was forced to meet his concerned gaze.

"What's wrong, Bella? I swear to you, that's the truth," he said in his low, velvety voice.

"I don't doubt your truthfulness," I responded. "I guess I just don't get how you could be so cold and detached about it. You explained your past behavior to me before, and I can accept it, but that doesn't mean I understand it. How could you just use your body like that, over and over again? It seems like such a self-destructive, empty way to live…"

He sat quietly, examining his long, tented fingers.

"I'm sorry," I blurted, "I don't mean to judge you, I'm just trying to understand."

"No, it's all right, Bella," Edward said, moving to wrap his arms around me as he spoke. "Before I met you, I didn't know what it meant to truly connect with someone. I lived in a grayscale world, but I didn't mind, because I never realized my life could be any different. Then I met a beautiful, brilliant, captivating girl, and my world exploded into vibrant hues that I never even knew existed. With you by my side, I see everything in vivid clarity. And I only hope that one day I can be the kind of man who is worthy of your affection."

Tears in my eyes, I was stunned into silence. _Really, who says shit like that?_

"Thank you, Edward," I whispered, placing a soft kiss upon his cheek. I could feel myself falling harder and harder for him, and I was powerless to stop it. Letting go of the tension in my body, I leaned into his firm chest, inhaling deeply of his mouthwatering scent. Instantly, I felt the familiar thumping of my heart and the warm ache between my legs, and I knew I was home.

"I'd better get going before Charlie finds me here and shoots me," Edward said, regret coloring his silken tones. I knew he was right, but my lips formed a pout of their own accord. He leaned down and kissed my pout, making me smile despite myself.

He stood to take his leave, and I walked him to the front door, prolonging my time with him for as long as I could. "So, _are they_?" I asked, because I couldn't resist. Edward raised one eyebrow in question. "You know…" I continued with a sly grin, "as nice as Tanya's?"

He just leaned in to place a gentle kiss on my forehead, then walked out the door, chuckling. "Answer me!" I demanded of his retreating figure. He just turned around and gave me a wink before hopping in his Volvo and speeding away._ Damnit, what does_ _that mean? _

_Who am I kidding? Bitch ain't got nothing on these babies. Formidable men have composed entire sonnets about my tits. He's just being a gentleman…_

I climbed the stairs to my room, changed into my pajamas, then slid under the covers of my bed. My hand wandered down beneath the comforter to the warm wetness between my legs, but I couldn't concentrate. It was Edward's touch my sensitive skin craved, and my own small fingers felt like an inferior substitute. Eventually, sleep found me, and I dreamed of his soft lips as they explored the secrets of my body.

***

I was early for school on Monday morning, and I ran into Jasper in the hallway. Pausing beside me at my locker, he was a sight to behold wearing boots, a ridiculous hat, and a slightly amused expression.

"Hey, Jazz," I greeted him. "What's up, buddy? Halloween come early?"

"What's up, yourself, sugar?" he drawled.

I had to laugh, because the southern accent was definitely a new development. "Since when are you a cowboy, Jasper?"

He just shrugged. "Alice likes it."

_Ha, I wonder if she makes him leave the hat on while they're hooking up!_

I smiled to myself as Jasper walked me to class. Eventually, he stopped us, pulling me aside in the hallway.

"Bella," he began seriously. "I'm a pretty sensitive guy when it comes to people's emotions. And I've gotta say, the sexual frustration pouring off you is really fucking with my mojo."

"Is it that obvious?" I asked, slightly embarrassed.

"Is to me," he stated simply. "So what the hell is Edward waitin' for, anyway? It's not like he doesn't know what he's doing, 'cause he's certainly no _virgin_," Jasper mused.

Unintentionally, I winced at the distasteful way he said that last word. When his eyebrows rose in surprise, I recognized my mistake.

"_Really?_" he asked, and it looked like his eyeballs would pop out of his head.

"Yeah, Jazz, really. I'm a virgin. The way word is spreading, I may as well make little buttons and hand them out. They could have cute little slogans, like 'Bella Swan: Still holding on to her V-card' or 'Be nice to Bella, she's never had a dick inside her'."

"Damn, girl," Jasper said with a low chuckle, "you _are_ wound up. Ever thought of taking matters into your own hands?" he asked casually.

"Of course I've considered it," I practically shouted in frustration. _Christ. Am I seriously having this conversation with my best friend's boyfriend? _

"Then, what's the problem?" he asked, and I could feel my face burning.

"I," I began loudly, but I automatically hushed my voice and pulled Jasper closer to the lockers. "It's just not the same," I confided. "Why the fuck are we talking about this?"

"I see," he nodded, obviously deep in thought. "Why don't you try this…" he suggested, holding up three long fingers and his thumb in a complicated configuration. I immediately slapped his hand down.

"_Jesus Christ_, Jasper!" I screeched, "I do _not_ need your help!" Red-faced and humiliated, I stormed into my first class. Of course, Edward had saved me a seat beside him. He looked at me sideways, silently questioning me with an amused smirk on his face.

"Your family needs to learn to back the fuck off," I growled lowly.

Edward's response was gleeful laughter. "True," he agreed, when he'd collected himself. Fortunately, he didn't push for more information. I'm sure that after living with his adopted siblings for as many years as he had, he knew that some things were better left unsaid.

***

The week had flown by. At my father's recommendation, I changed my cell phone number, so I hadn't received any more threatening phone calls from James since the (now infamous) bonfire party. It was a busy week—with tests in three of my classes, though the material was relatively easy, I had to study more than usual. Unfortunately, that meant I didn't get to spend much time with Edward, and his absence left an aching void in the pit of my stomach.

By Friday, I felt crazed, like a drug addict desperate for her next fix. Edward was my own personal brand of heroin. _I would crawl into his clothes with him if I could fit..._ He was my home, my heart, my addiction.

When I caught a glimpse of his beautiful bronze head in the cafeteria, I pounced. Rather than taking my usual seat beside him, I hopped into his lap. After recovering from his initial shock, he looped his arms around my hips, squeezing me tightly. I felt him harden under me, and his body's reaction inspired my confidence as well a warm sensation between my thighs.

I leaned back slightly, inclining my head towards his. "I missed you this week," I whispered softly into his ear. Punctuating my sentence with a firm grind of my ass, I earned a low growl. His lips grazed the hollow below my ear, and I bit my lower lip to stifle a whimper.

"I missed you, too, Bella," he rumbled, his voice uncharacteristically rough, "and if you don't slide over and take a seat, I'm going to pull up your skirt and do something about it right here in front of all these children."

His words sent little quakes of anticipation to my core, and I trembled against him. "You promise?" I challenged, bouncing slightly in his lap.

"I'm not fucking kidding, Isabella," he growled, and I felt his hands move to the hem of my short skirt. I gasped at his touch, but when I felt his fingers slide under the edges of my underwear and start to tug them down, I squealed, leaping out of his lap and into my usual seat beside him.

I looked at Edward, my mouth gaping in shock. "I warned you," he stated matter-of-factly, but his smoldering emerald eyes betrayed his calm expression. _He wants me every bit as badly as I want him. _

Emboldened by his reaction, I did something I'd wanted to do for a long time. "I can't wait any longer," I said into his ear, my voice coming out low and breathy. "Tonight's the night. I _need you_." His eyes widened momentarily, but he quickly recovered the serene set of his features, mutely nodding his understanding.

When the bell rang, he took my hand and led me to Biology class. I couldn't concentrate on anything for the rest of the school day, besides my own graphic mental images of Edward's perfect, naked body – writhing, moaning, sweating, shaking, pumping – above me. I didn't care that we hadn't even actually messed around yet. I was ready. I needed him like I needed oxygen, and I was tired of trying to deny it.

The remaining hours of school dragged by at a torturously slow pace as I practically vibrated with nervous excitement. _I guess now I know how Alice feels all the time! _Conveniently, Charlie was out of town for the weekend for some sort of annual law enforcement convention. _Sounds almost as appealing as watching paint dry, except with no amusing side effects from the fumes… _Since the house would be empty, Edward and I agreed to meet at my place in a few hours.

As soon as the final bell rang to dismiss us for the day, I flew to my car as if I'd been shot from a gun. I sped home, ignoring Deputy Mark's disapproving look from my rearview mirror as he tried to catch up. When I got home, I immediately started preparations for lasagna, because I knew it was Edward's favorite.

After putting the lasagna in the oven to bake, I ran upstairs to take a shower. I shaved my legs with shaking hands, trying not to think too much about what I planned to do tonight. Since my boyfriend tended to be, well… skittish, I decided not to make a big deal of talking to him about my virginity beforehand. I wasn't really worried about the pain, and I'd been on the pill to regulate my cycle since I was 16, so pregnancy wouldn't be an issue. I didn't have any condoms, but I didn't think that was a problem, since I knew Dr. Cullen tested all his children for communicable diseases as part of their yearly physical. As I found out courtesy of Alice, Carlisle tested Edward _quarterly_. _Go figure_.

Stepping out of the shower, I toweled off and slicked on some lotion, then put on the mauvey-pink underthings that I'd purchased last weekend. Over them, I threw on jeans and a slim white tee. Towel-drying my hair, I mussed it a bit and smudged on some eyeliner for what I hoped was a casually sexy effect.

After changing my bed sheets, I sprinted back down to the kitchen to check on the lasagna. It was almost done, so I made a salad and sat the table. A combination of nervousness, anxiety, and anticipation rendered me unable to sit still, so I flitted around the house aimlessly as I waited for Edward to arrive.

When the doorbell rang, I'd swear my heart stopped. I took a deep breath, then opened it. There on my porch stood nature's most triumphant creation, with his hands in his pockets. He wore a tight vintage t-shirt and a crooked smile, and it took some kind of supernatural restraint for me to wave him into the house rather than stripping and mounting him right there in the doorway.

"Hi," Edward said as he pulled me to him in a loose embrace.

"Hey," I squeaked in response. He looked into my eyes with his sparkling green ones, and I was motionless, captivated by the intensity of his gaze. The spell was broken when the oven timer started going off, and I ran to the kitchen to pull out the lasagna.

Edward followed me to the kitchen, sniffing the air. "Something smells incredible," he moaned, and his voice was so undeniably sexy that I almost dropped the pan of lasagna. _Well, looks like dinner's ruined. How about we just screw like rabbits instead? _ I giggled at the thought, and Edward arched one perfect eyebrow in question.

I just shrugged, blushing. "You ready to eat?" I asked, suddenly feeling a little shy.

"Sure," he responded, pulling out my chair at the table. He grabbed our drinks from off the counter, then sat down at the table with me.

We made small talk over dinner, but we both just pushed our food around on our plates rather than actually eating. The butterflies in my stomach were making it impossible for me to ingest anything, and I wondered if Edward might have a similar problem.

"Not hungry?" I asked, and he just looked at me and shrugged, so I stood and started to clear the table.

He washed the dishes while I put the remaining lasagna away, then we stood awkwardly in the middle of the kitchen, me worrying my bottom lip between my teeth and Edward nervously raking a hand through his tangle of bronze hair. We both spoke at the same time. "Want to watch a movie or something?" he asked at the exact instant that I blurted, "Want to go upstairs and listen to music?"

"Uh, sure," he said, looking somewhat flustered, and I led him by the hand towards the stairs. We went up to my room, and I pulled the door closed behind us. My iPod was already docked and set to my "Sex" playlist (which I'd created specifically for this occasion) so all I had to do was press the button.

Sitting beside Edward on the bed, I couldn't help but notice that he looked like he might throw up. "Are you okay?" I asked, concerned. "You look kind of greenish."

"Yes, I… I mean, no," he stumbled. "Bella, I…" _Uh oh, maybe he doesn't want to do this. I'll give him an out just to make sure._

"Look, Edward," I said soothingly, taking his hand in mine, "we don't have to do this if you don't want to. We can just sit here and listen to music, or go back downstairs and watch a movie, or whatever." I was hoping he would dismiss my comments and take me in his arms, but instead he looked… relieved.

"Really, that would be okay? Because I'm starting to think that maybe this is not such a great idea," he responded, knitting his brows.

My face fell at his words, though I tried to hide it. _Seriously? What the fuck is his problem?_ His rejection hurt like a kick to the stomach, knocking the air out of my lungs and bringing unsolicited tears to my eyes. Avoiding eye contact, he withdrew his hand from mine, then stood and walked over to the computer desk in the corner.

With his back to me, he fiddled nervously with the computer chair, swiveling and rolling it around a bit before taking a seat. He was obviously trying to distance himself from me, and I looked down at the floor from my position on the bed, willing the tears not to overflow. Blinking rapidly and swallowing the lump in my throat, I looked up at him.

"Why are you doing this?" I asked, and I couldn't keep my voice from sounding cracked and broken.

"I don't know what you're talking about, Bella," he responded, his voice cool and even.

Nervous and awkward, I could deal with, but cold and standoffish, I couldn't bear. At a loss to explain his behavior, I began to question myself. _Am I so unappealing that my 'boyfriend' won't even touch me? Did I do something wrong? Did he see something that he doesn't like?_ I felt sick.

"You won't even touch me," I mumbled. "And you're all the way over there."

_From what I hear, he's never had a problem with screwing everything that walks, so what could possibly be stopping him? Is this some kind of a sick game that he's playing just to fuck with my head? _

"Let's just go downstairs and watch a movie," he said icily.

I stood up, ready to suggest that he go to hell instead, but I was interrupted by the buzzing of my phone on the desk. Edward glared at the phone beside him, and I stood to grab it. I looked at the screen and my stomach turned. Lightheaded, I dropped to my knees as James's name escaped my trembling lips.

Edward picked up the phone from the desk and answered the unknown call. "Hello?" he growled, then paused. "This is Edward, Bella's _boyfriend_," he hissed. "Who the fuck is this?" I couldn't make out the words of the person on the line, and I was grateful. His voice haunted my dreams. "Well, James," Edward spat, "I strongly suggest that you leave Bella the fuck alone and never call this number again, or I swear to God that I will hunt you down like an animal." With that, he disconnected the call.

I remained on the floor, slumped and defeated. The one person in the world who I wanted didn't want me, and the person who I never wanted to see again was trying to ruin my life. "There's nothing I can do," I whispered to myself. "I'll never get away from him."

The tears I'd been choking back burst forth with a vengeance, and I was reduced to a sobbing pile on the floor. Strong arms lifted me up, and Edward pulled me into his lap, hugging me to his chest while he stroked my hair. He tried to wipe away my tears with his thumbs, but new ones kept falling to replace them. He cooed my name reverently, like I was the most important thing in his world, and for a moment I believed him. I wanted to be angry and push him away, but the pain and fear and confusion made me weak, and I had no fight left within me.

He placed sweet little kisses over my face – nose, forehead, eyelids, chin – and I felt myself getting caught up in his spell. I was broken, and I couldn't resist the silent comforts that Edward offered with his warm hands and his soft lips. With an almost inaudible whimper, I surrendered and let him console me.

The tears stopped as he continued to kiss my face, and when he moved to place a kiss on the corner of my mouth, I met his lips with my own. I didn't grab his neck and pull him to me—I needed it to be _his _decision. I wanted him to kiss me because he wanted to. He rewarded my pleading lips with a deep, gentle kiss, and the simple act made my heart fly. After all that had happened tonight, I needed him to be in control, because if he were to refuse me, I was quite certain that I couldn't handle the rejection.

My kiss was desperate and needful, and Edward returned it with equal urgency. Our lips pressed and moved roughly, and when I opened my mouth to take a breath, he put his tongue inside. He licked and sucked at my tongue hungrily, burying both hands in my hair to secure my face to his. I moaned softly, lost in the sweet taste of him.

I could feel his growing erection pressing into me as I sat in his lap. Edward's body contradicted his earlier words, reassuring me in ways that he hadn't. I relished the feeling of his want –I needed it. I needed _him_. My hands moved up from his shoulders to tangle in his hair as our tongues stroked each other urgently. He rubbed my back and ran his hands along my arms, leaving trails of goosebumps in the wake of his electric touch.

His need grew uncomfortably prominent beneath me, and I squirmed in his lap, trying to readjust our bodies. My movement incited a groan from his lips, and it was all the invitation I needed. Surrendering to the demands of our bodies, I dropped to my knees in front of him. I slowly unbuttoned his jeans and unzipped his fly. My eyes were squeezed shut as I waited for the inevitable feel of his hands on mine, stopping me, rejecting me. His hands never moved to stop me—instead they hooked under the bottom of the chair.

I ran my palms slowly from his knees to his hips, looking up at him to gauge his reaction. All I saw reflected in his molten emerald eyes was pure, unadulterated need. I reached into the flap in his boxers and gently pulled him out. His cock was perfect, just like the rest of him, but I was shocked and a little intimidated by its size. Immediately, my hands were all over him, stroking and exploring his velvety length as I examined it with fascination. _Huge. Perfect. Mine._

Edward made little growls and purrs in response to my touch, and they spurred me on. I grasped him more firmly, then took just the tip into my mouth. I wrapped my lips around it, swirling my tongue greedily, then gave it a hard suck. Every muscle in his body constricted, and before he could recover, I took the entire thing into my mouth in one stroke. Relaxing my throat, I took him all the way in, then tightened my lips as I pulled back away. I took what I could fit into my mouth and wrapped my hands around the rest, sucking hard and working him roughly. I didn't want to draw it out—I needed this just as badly as he did.

He paused me for a moment to pull my shirt off over my head. As I resumed my movements, his body tightened, and I knew he was close. My mouth practically watering in anticipation, I quickened my pace to finish him off. Suddenly, he stopped me and pulled me to my feet. I looked on in surprise as he quickly unbuttoned my jeans and pulled them off, then took off all of his own clothes. Sitting back down in the chair, he pulled me onto his lap so that I straddled him, my legs hanging over his on either side.

Reaching around me, he unfastened my bra and slid the straps off my shoulders, tossing it to the floor. My head dropped back as he fondled and sucked me—his hands and lips were everywhere, and the sensation was overwhelming. With his lips latched onto one nipple, he swirled it and teased it with the tip of his tongue. His hand moved away from my other breast, and I felt him swiftly push the fabric of my underwear aside.

I gasped when I felt his finger inside me. He worked me expertly, his finger pumping in a hypnotic rhythm while his thumb manipulated my sensitive spot above. Without breaking his rhythm, he slid in another finger, and I cried out at the increased sensation. My legs started to shake, and I gripped his shoulders tightly. Without warning, he halted his movements, and I whimpered in dismay.

"Ssh, ssh," he said as he pulled me in and kissed me tenderly. As he did so, he tore the delicate lace of my underwear and I looked down in shock as he tossed the fabric aside. Gripping me by the hips, he guided my body over him, and my eyes widened in fear. I was petite _everywhere_, and I was almost certain that he wouldn't fit.

Edward didn't notice the trepidation in my eyes, because his gaze was locked on our bodies as he steadily pulled me towards him. I felt the tip of him at my entrance, and he kept going, burying himself inch by inch until he was fully seated inside me. My eyes were closed, and I just sat there, my body fully impaled on his thick, hard cock. My lower lips strained around his girth, and my inner muscles cramped at the intrusion.

The sensation of fullness was incredible, but our connection was so tight that I didn't think I could move. Gripping my hips roughly, he unsheathed himself from me, then sat me back down abruptly. I cried out in pleasure, completely helpless and lost to the unfamiliar sensations. My legs dangled on either side of the chair, not touching the ground, and I could gain no leverage to help him.

He thrust again and again, and I could see him break a sweat with the effort. His arms and shoulders flexed as he worked my body against him, and I grew impossibly more aroused as I watched. The incredible, unending movements became too much, and I felt my eyes roll back into my head as my legs tightened around him. Instantly, he quickened our pace, rocking me against him furiously as his hips thrust up to meet mine. He bit down on my nipple, and I screamed as I came. When my body contracted around him, I felt him tighten then explode inside me, and I watched his beautiful face as he spurted his hot release deep within my body. I collapsed against his chest, giggling at the sensation as he twitched inside me.

He held me as our breathing slowed, and when he eventually softened enough, I gingerly slid off his length. Edward followed me to the bed, where we both collapsed in a tangle of sweaty, naked satisfaction. We lay there for a long time, content and fulfilled, not needing to speak. He toyed with a strand of my hair while I traced nonsensical patterns on the taut skin of his stomach.

My mind wandered aimlessly as sleep threatened to overtake me. _I'm renaming him Edward Monster Cock Cullen. Heh. I wonder if I could get Carlisle to say that one…_

Suddenly, Edward seemed to snap out of his blissful stupor. He tilted my chin up until I was looking into his sparkling green eyes. "I'm sorry, Bella, I don't know what came over me. Was I too rough? Did I hurt you?"

I rolled my eyes as he started looking me over. Both our glances landed on my hip, where five perfectly-formed bruises were blossoming in the shape of his fingertips. I looked up at him, and he seemed utterly crushed. "I behaved like an animal—please forgive me," he begged.

"Edward, there's nothing to forgive," I insisted, placing little kisses around his mouth. "Yeah, it was a little rough, and it was hot as hell. I loved every minute of it, in case you didn't notice," I said with a smirk. "Especially that part at the end where I had the most mind-blowing orgasm ever and drenched us both from hip to knee with my cum. Do you remember that part?"

I wasn't sure why he was choosing this moment to go all Emo, but I'd just had the single most amazing experience of my life, and I was not going to let him ruin it for us.

He nodded, blushing at my crass teasing. _Ah, success. But how he can still blush after doing _that_, I'll never know!_

Cuddling my body against his, he gazed at me adoringly. As I lay there, taking in his flushed cheeks, boyishly lopsided smile, sweat-dampened hair, and swollen lips, I knew. _I am in love with Edward Cullen. _

The entire world exploded with my realization, then refocused with perfect clarity, on him alone. _I've loved him all along. _He looked so vulnerable, naked and spent in my arms, and I wanted to share my feelings with him. He'd said that our being intimate was a bad idea, so I just wanted to reassure him that what we did was wonderful…

"Seriously, though, that was incredible. I never imagined that my first time would feel so good—" I began, but Edward interrupted me.

"Excuse me, _what_?" He asked, moving away from me as his features hardened into a look that I didn't understand.

"I, I…" I stuttered, because I didn't know how to respond. _What on earth is wrong with him? Did I say something wrong?_

"Do you mean you didn't imagine _our first time together_ would be pleasurable?"

"Well, that's not it, exactly," I said, struggling to explain. "I… I just meant… I'd heard that losing your virginity was usually not an enjoyable experience."

I opened my eyes, and he was sitting up in bed, tightly pinching the bridge of his nose with a look of pained disgust on his face. "I don't know what kind of twisted game you're trying to play right now, but I assure you, I want no part of it," he said harshly.

My mouth dropped open in shock. "_Excuse_ me?"

"I know you weren't a virgin, Bella. I would have felt the barrier. You would have bled…" he said, his voice cold and unfamiliar.

"As much as it pains me to have to explain this to you, between years of regular tampon use and the vigorous ministrations of my favorite three fingers, my _'barrier'_ was a goner a long time ago," I practically shouted. Hot tears of humiliation stung my eyes. _Why is he doing this?_

Edward stood up and gathered his clothes. "You should have told me," he said, pulling on his pants and shoes. I thought I _had_ told him. Maybe I never came right out and said the words "I am a virgin" but I thought I explained that James and I never had sex…

"Just stop it, Edward. What are you doing? I'm sorry I didn't tell you before—I thought you knew. You know now… what's the big deal?" I asked, close to tears again.

When I looked up, his face distorted with a mixture of pain and loathing, but he instantly composed it into a mask of coldness. "I'm sorry, Bella," he muttered as he strode out the door.

I heard the front door slam behind him as I lay naked on my bed. Unmoving, I stared at the ceiling, lost in my own shock and pain. My body and soul were perfectly attuned: both felt raw and bloody. As his seed began to seep out of my body onto the sheets, I had my second revelation of the night. _He's gone. I gave him everything, and he's gone. _


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14 – Unbearable**

Eyes wide and unblinking, I lay in disbelief for what seemed like hours. _He's gone._ The words repeated endlessly in my head, playing over and over in a cruel refrain as I waited for tears that never came.

I grew progressively more nauseated as I stumbled down the hall to the bathroom, barely making it to the toilet before my stomach clenched violently, emptying its contents into the porcelain bowl. After the waves of gagging and choking subsided, I collapsed to the bathroom floor, unable to move. Cheek pressed to the cold tile floor, I contemplated what I possibly could have done to deserve this.

Unwittingly, I remembered Lauren's words from that day in the bathroom:

"_He went through half of the girls at his old school—he'd woo them and make them think he was interested until he got in their pants, then he'd never speak to them again. He took lots of girls' virginity then ignored them like they didn't even exist. I actually wouldn't be surprised if that was part of the reason his family decided to move."_

I couldn't help but recognize the similarities between what Edward had just done to me and the things Lauren said. _How could I be so stupid? I thought that somehow what we had was different… that I'd be the one to change him. I see now that it was all a ridiculous fantasy._ I was angry at him, but even angrier at myself. The fact that I'd allowed Edward to wield such power over me, to the point where he was capable of ruining me, was appalling.

It wasn't as if I hadn't seen it coming—all the warning signs were there. His constant mood swings, his blemished past… even his own sister said that he was a whore! And yet, I actually thought I could be his girlfriend? _Stupid, stupid Bella. I gave my heart away to a boy who didn't want it, and now I'm left with a ragged, bleeding hole in my chest._

Edward's own words from the first night we had dinner together replayed in my head, confirming my suspicions:

"_I am a user, Bella. I'm no good. I never meant to be a coldhearted bastard, but that doesn't change the fact that I am."_

I realized with shock that he had warned me himself not to get involved with him. He'd basically told me that he would inevitably hurt me, and still, I let him in. I let him into my heart, so completely that when he left he tore it out with him. _And from the raw pain between my legs, I think he tore something else, too._

Eventually, I managed to pry myself up from the floor and crawl into the shower. Trails of steaming water ran down my face, mixing with the hot tears as finally, I cried. I cried for the loss of my innocence, and my own stupidity. I cried because the water stung my tender flesh below, and because I could still smell him on my skin. I cried for the way I loved him and the look on his face when he left me.

Quiet tears turned into sobs as I scrubbed every inch of my skin with the god-forsaken strawberry body wash that he loved so much. I was torn between wanting to rid myself of all evidence of his touch – his sweat mingled with my own, the lingering traces of his sweet saliva, the viscous remnants of his release – and wanting to leave it. These physical reminders were all I had left of him. I thought perhaps that if I washed them away, what we'd shared would cease to be real. The thought paused my hand, but only for a moment, before I resumed my scrubbing, sickened.

When I'd completely cleansed myself of all traces of Edward Cullen, I shut off the water. It had long ago run cold, and my tears had run dry. Numbly, I dried my skin with a towel, then returned to my bedroom. The comforter still smelled of him, so I stripped it from the bed and wrapped my naked body in the sheets. I lay there all night, lost in my own pain.

I didn't notice when the sun came up, but eventually my cell phone started buzzing on the nightstand beside me. I didn't bother to lift my head, only shifted my gaze to the display_. Jacob_. My brain was numb, but my body must have known that I needed help, because my hand stretched to the table of its own volition. I flipped the phone open but didn't speak.

"Bella?" came Jake's confused voice through the speaker. "Hello? B, you there?"

I tried to respond, but the noise I made was more of a choked sob. "Jake, please. Help me."

"Bella," he cried, "where are you? What's wrong? Is it James?"

"No, not James," I mumbled. "Home. Please hurry."

"Just hold on. I'll be there soon."

Minutes later, I heard the front door fling open, and heavy footsteps pounded up the stairs. Jake appeared in my doorway, then he was immediately by my side. I registered the concern and anguish in his dark chocolate eyes as he looked into mine. What he saw there must have worried him, because he immediately cradled my sheet-wrapped form into his own huge body.

The numbness melted away as Jake silently rocked me back and forth. I sighed softly, then my words came out in a torrent. I told him everything: what had happened last night, Edward's reaction, and the way my heart broke when he slammed the front door shut behind him. Jake's expressions ranged from surprise to tight-lipped rage as I relayed the story, but he stayed silent until I was finished.

"I'm so sorry, Bells," he whispered, pressing his forehead to mine.

Hating myself for what I was about to do, I gripped his strong jaw with both hands and took his lower lip between my own.

"What the hell are you doing?" he asked against my mouth, but after a moment he gave in and let his lips move with mine. Sensing his capitulation, I stood and let the sheet drop to the floor.

"Jesus Christ, Bella," he groaned, turning his head away from my naked body. Jake set his jaw, then turned back and looked me squarely in the eye. "I'm going to turn around, and you're going to put your goddamn clothes on," he ordered. I merely nodded.

While Jake's back was turned, I pulled on sweats and a t-shirt. "I'm sorry, Jake," I muttered, and with my words the tears began to fall again.

He crossed the room and hugged me, then sat me on the bed beside him. Before he could ask, I tried to explain myself. "I just thought that if we… I thought that if we were _together_, maybe what he and I did would seem like less of a big deal."

"Sex _is_ a big deal, Bells," he said softly.

"Oh, you're one to talk," I said with a snort. "You lost your virginity at 14 to a girl whose last name you didn't even know. And she was just the first in a long line…"

He couldn't help but laugh. "Okay, so it's not that big of a deal to me. But it is to you. And if you try to screw around with other people just to lessen the impact of what you and Edward did, you'll only be hurting yourself."

"You're probably right," I admitted, ruffling his shaggy hair. We sat in silence for a few minutes, and when I spoke again, my tone was somber. "I can't stop thinking about it, Jake. What we did was so intense and beautiful. How could he just throw it all away like that?"

"I feel like this is all my fault," Jacob said, his brows furrowed together in thought.

"What?" I gasped, pulling away to look at his face. "What are you talking about, Jake?"

"That night on the beach," he explained, "when you walked off after the fight, we sent Quil along to keep an eye on you, but Embry and I stayed behind to keep an eye on Edward. He tried to go after you, but I stopped him. I told him that you obviously wanted to be alone, so he should just back off and let you sort things out."

Jacob hesitated, conflicted. "It's okay, Jake," I reassured him, "just tell me."

"He said that he needed to go after you, but I told him it wasn't an option. Then he said… he said he was in love with you. I guess I shouldn't have bought it, Bella, but the look in his eyes when he said it… I believed him. And I let him go."

Jake looked as though he could cry at any moment, so I put my arm around his shoulders, reassuring him. "None of this is your fault, Jake. I guess we were both duped," I teased.

He just shook his head. "I can't explain it, but I know he wasn't lying. He told me he loved you, and I knew it was true—I just can't figure out why he's doing this now."

Of course I couldn't believe that Edward actually loved me—he was saying what he thought he needed to say to get past my overprotective beast of a friend. _I'm glad he never said those words to me. My heart couldn't handle the lie._

"I mean," Jake said, "he's gotta hate himself for what he did to you." I just raised my eyebrows in question. "He didn't know that it was your first time… and he fucked you, _hard_, on your computer chair, for chrissake. I'd hate myself, too."

"So you think he's mad at _himself_?" I asked tentatively. "What about the awful things he said to me afterwards?"

"Who the fuck knows what goes on inside that guy's head," Jake said honestly. "But he has a history of being unable to deal with his own emotions. He always reacts in the worst possible way—that's why you hated him for so long. He liked you… so he acted like a total douchebag?" Jake just shrugged. "The only way to know for sure is to talk to him."

"Can I really do that, after what he did to me? It's not as though I just call him up and say 'Hey, it's Bella, the girl you fucked then accused of lying. Want to talk about it?'," I said sarcastically.

"I don't know, Bells. After what he did, it'd be perfectly reasonable for you to kick him in the nuts and then never speak to him again. As a matter of fact, he deserves to have his ass beaten."

"I guess I have a lot of thinking to do," I sighed. "Thanks, Jake, for being such a good friend. And for not screwing me," I added with a laugh.

He stood up, stretching. "Anytime, Bells. I have to say though, you've got the best pair of tits I've ever seen," he said with a mischievous smile.

In retaliation, I kicked the desk chair in his direction. He jumped out of the way to avoid it, yelling "fuckchair, gross!" as he fled down the stairs.

_Is it possible that he really cares?_ The idea that he might be off somewhere torturing himself was oddly comforting. _If Edward is miserable, too, then at least I'm not alone…_

For the rest of the weekend, I moped, only leaving my bed to make trips to the kitchen or bathroom. Charlie returned home on Sunday night, took one look at my haggard appearance, then hightailed it up the stairs to his bedroom. _Thanks, Chuck. I don't want to deal with me, either._

***

By the next morning, I'd made up my mind to try and confront Edward. I listened to Blue October on the way to school, because that shit's fucking depressing and it fit my mood. I had no idea what I was trying to accomplish by talking to Edward, but I thought at worst it would give me a little closure, at best perhaps an explanation of his behavior. He owed me at least that much.

As I spun into the parking lot, the tires on my Audi throwing gravel everywhere, I saw him getting out of his Volvo, looking more like a stoic god than any man deserves to. Bravely, I hopped out of my car and strode over to where he stood, willing myself not to cry. _No matter what he says, don't cry._

As I approached, Edward regarded me with cool nonchalance, leaning against his car and folding his arms across his chest.

"Edward," I said in greeting.

"Bella," he replied, raising his perfectly arched eyebrows in an expression of indifference. "What can I do for you?"

I almost snorted at his formality. _So that's how you want to play it?_ "I believe you owe me an explanation for your behavior the other night," I said, doing my best to imitate his cold, even tone.

"I don't _owe_ you anything," he replied, arrogance distorting his velvet voice.

_Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry._

I stepped closer until I was mere inches from his flawless face. "You took my virginity, accused me of lying about it, then walked out on me," I hissed. "Considering that you call yourself my fucking boyfriend, I think I at least deserve an explanation."

He winced visibly at my mention of the word 'boyfriend', but his blank, indifferent expression never faltered. "I think it's pretty clear, Bella," he said with a cruel laugh that didn't reach his eyes. "I warned you that I was a monster. I guess I finally proved it."

I swallowed the lump in my throat, clearing it out of the way enough that I could speak. "So you got what you wanted, and now we're through?"

He looked at me with frigid green eyes and shrugged, but when I saw his cruel little smirk, the dam broke inside me, letting out all my carefully concealed emotions. I slapped him across the face, _hard_. His head swung to the side with the impact, but his expression didn't change.

I was practically panting, and my body trembled with barely-controlled rage. "I realize it means nothing to you," I spat, my voice shaking with emotion, "but I will never _fucking_ forgive you for as long as I live."

Something flashed in his eyes at my words, but I didn't pause to interpret it. I spun on my heels and walked away, silently pleading for the tears to wait until I was alone. They were already streaming, uncontrolled, down my face by the time I reached the bathroom door. When I was safely inside a stall, I let myself cry, but not for long enough to satisfy my despair. I vaguely realized that all the tears in the world would never be enough as I blotted my eyes with toilet paper, carefully avoiding my mascara.

I splashed cold water on my blotchy face, then waited around for my breathing to calm before I went to class. When I'd recovered adequately, I went to Literature. I eyed my usual spot beside Edward with unabashed disdain, and when I passed him, I physically recoiled in disgust. I would have thought it impossible to go from loving someone to hating him in a matter of days, but Edward Cullen proved me wrong.

I noticed with satisfaction that he had a red blotch on his cheekbone, courtesy of my right palm. I would have punched him, but even in my enraged state, I recognized that it would be a shame to mar something so beautiful.

Walking to the back of the room, I sat down in the empty seat beside Mike Newton. Had he any self respect, he would have ignored me, since I'd barely spoken two words to him in the past month, but he smiled, obviously thrilled. Lauren took the seat on the other side of me, pleased that I'd moved to their side of the room. My unintentional popularity was almost sickening, but at least I had somewhere to go that wasn't by Edward's side.

I couldn't concentrate in class. I tried to focus on my anger, because that was the only thing that could keep the pain at bay. I wondered if Edward would go back to his old ways of fucking everything that moved. _He'd probably start with Jessica, then move on to Lauren… _ I gagged, but tried to cover it up with a cough.

_Or maybe he'll just move away._ I had a visceral reaction to the very thought of being physically separated from him, and a strangled whimper escaped my lips. I tried to cover it up with another cough, but I wasn't entirely successful.

"Are you okay, Bella?" Mike asked, giving me a concerned look. I'd swear that Edward turned to look at us, but I faced Mike instead. _You're dead to me now, Cullen. It'll be like you never fucking existed._

"I'm fine, Mike. Thanks for asking," I replied sweetly. "Hey, I was wondering…" I began, but I knew the answer before I even asked, "Would it be okay if I sat with you guys at lunch today?"

A wide grin stretched across his face, and his bright blue eyes momentarily clouded over with lust. _From the look on his face, you'd think I just offered him a blowjob…_

"Of course, Bella," Lauren answered for him. "You're welcome to sit with us anytime." Her words were kind, but the wicked gleam in her pale eyes was anything but. I just sighed and nodded, resigning myself to the fact that lunch was not going to be pleasant.

I plodded numbly through the rest of my morning classes, balanced on the verge of tears. Every time I saw Edward in the hallway, the pain was almost unbearable, but I ignored him, averting my eyes until he was out of sight.

When I walked into the cafeteria at lunchtime, inevitably, he was there. I had to walk right by the Cullens to get to my old table with Newton and company, and I nodded to Alice as I passed, acknowledging the look of pained confusion in her eyes. _Ask the prick beside you, Al. _Edward stared straight ahead, and I was quietly thankful that he didn't look at me, because he would have seen the unbidden tears in my eyes. _Why did I let myself fall in love with him? _

Not even bothering to go through the food line, since I'd violently puke up anything I tried to ingest, I took a seat beside Newton. He looked unnaturally pleased to see me, and Jessica was proportionately pissed off. _Some things never change._

Edward passed our table to get a soda from the vending machines, and it was as if he looked right _through_ me. It didn't escape the notice of Jessica and Lauren, of course.

"Wow, Bella," Lauren began snidely, "trouble in paradise? Because he's seriously acting like you don't exist right now."

Jessica jumped in. "Yeah, you guys haven't been sitting together all day, and I heard you slapped him this morning," she practically shouted. I just shrugged, hoping they would drop it.

Unintentionally glancing over my shoulder, I saw Alice storm out of the cafeteria. _Yeah, he has that effect on me, too._

"That's so funny," Lauren continued with a sinister smile, "for him to be all over you on Friday then totally ignoring you on Monday." I winced, because her words were a knife in my chest. Then she turned the knife. "Unless…" she began, and I hated the vindictive twinkle in her eye, "You gave it up to him, didn't you?" she squealed, so loudly that half the cafeteria must have overheard.

My blushing cheeks gave me away as my head bowed in shame. "Of course not," I muttered, but the damage was done.

"So, what, B, are you just a tragically bad lay?" Jess asked, giggling. "Because since he'd been pretending to be your boyfriend, he could have at least stretched it out for a few more fuck sessions."

With her words, I reached the limit of what I could endure. Picking up my bag, I hissed in her face. She backed up in surprise, and I stomped out of the cafeteria, fleeing to the refuge of my favorite bathroom stall. I crouched down in the corner, sitting on my books, and buried my head in my hands.

I jumped in surprise when a dark, spiky-haired head popped under the divider from the adjacent stall. Her kind face and sad eyes inspired my tears to fall for the millionth time today. "Oh, Alice," I wailed as her tiny body wiggled into the stall with me.

She held me in her fragile arms while I cried, sympathetic tears staining her cheeks. "He was locked in his room all weekend," she said. "When he came out this morning, he was cold and distant, and now you guys won't even look at each other. He wouldn't tell me what happened."

"We had sex," I whispered, "and then he walked out on me. And now it's over."

"No," she cried, in disbelief.

I just nodded slowly as she let my words sink in. Her blank look twisted into an expression of all-out rage.

"I'm going to kill him," she screamed, and her voice reverberated off the tile walls.

"No, Alice," I said, "it's not worth it. He's your brother, and I can't be responsible for coming between you and your family. I guess, technically, he warned me in the beginning that this would happen. I was just stupid enough to fall in love with him, anyway."

"You love him," she sighed, and I just nodded sadly.

"I realized it when we were holding each other, you know, afterwards. What we had was so amazing… and then he just tossed me aside like trash," I wailed into her shoulder. She was speechless, and we just clung to one another until the bell rang.

With a few encouraging words from Alice, I reluctantly trudged to Biology class like a dead man walking. My face a carefully composed mask of impassivity, I took my seat without so much as a glance in Edward's direction. For his part, he didn't acknowledge my presence, either, and I was glad.

Out of my peripheral vision, though I tried to ignore it, I saw him run a hand through his hair. His movement disturbed the air around us, and I got a face full of his sweet scent—it was cinnamon and rainwater and heaven. My heart rate picked up, my palms got sweaty, and my nipples tightened visibly beneath my shirt. _My body still thinks he's mine. Stupid, Edward-loving nipples._

"Fuck!" I yelled, frustrated by my body's traitorous reactions to the one person it would never have again. Standing up so quickly that my chair tipped over and hit the floor behind me, I ignored the teacher's questioning look as I fled the classroom. I strode down the hall to the office in all my glass-cutting glory, and before I could change my mind, I changed my schedule. I couldn't get out of first hour Lit, but I managed to swap Bio and Spanish, so at least I wouldn't have to share a table with Edward anymore.

I waited out the rest of Biology in the bathroom, then stumbled my way through gym class, and before I knew it I was safely enclosed in the comforting interior of my car. I killed the Blue October in favor of Rage Against the Machine, and I lay my head back against the headrest, letting the engine idle while the familiar smell of leather soothed my soul.

The parking lot was clearing out, so I opened my eyes and started to back out of my space. When I glanced in the rearview mirror, I was met with the fiery green eyes that would probably haunt my dreams for the rest of my life. Drawing strength I didn't know I possessed, I closed my eyes again and waited until he was gone.

I pulled out of the lot, gunning the engine as I took to the highway. I drove around aimlessly for hours, satisfied with the knowledge that somehow I'd gotten through my first day without Edward.


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15 – The Bitch is Back**

I awoke on Tuesday morning feeling cold and empty. For the first time in several weeks, I had the unpleasant sensation of having nothing to look forward to. I guess I never really realized how focused on Edward I was—with every glance, every kiss, and every touch, he had somehow become the hot little center of my universe. And now, I was incomplete. Purposeless. Broken.

Mechanically, I showered and dressed for the day. I found myself dressing more nicely than usual, in my charcoal grey pencil skirt, stilettos, and a gauzy, sapphire top. Perhaps my subconscious was trying to taunt Edward, and show him what he'd never have. _He already had it. And it wasn't enough to keep him._

When I appraised myself the mirror, I took little satisfaction in my appearance. My intention was to feel sexy, attractive, desirable… but I just felt _stupid_. I thought I was smart and worldly and strong, but in the end I was just another stupid girl who gave in to the charms of Edward Cullen. _How naïve of me, to think that I could tame the lion._

It was a small consolation that I wouldn't have to see him for most of the day. With my newly rearranged schedule, I only had to endure first hour Lit class and the lunch hour in his presence. In such a small school, it was practically a miracle, and I'd take what I could get.

Fluffing my silken chocolate locks, I grabbed my things and headed out the door. The overcast skies did nothing do soothe my dark mood, and I found myself taking out my aggressions on the poor, innocent Audi. I stomped the clutch (_quite a feat in stiletto heels_) and shifted roughly, pushing my car to the limit and landing in my parking spot in near-record time. Deputy Mark was so far behind that he didn't even bother to follow me into the lot, choosing instead to glare reproachfully from the highway as he passed. _Sorry, dude._

When I stepped out of my car, the glint of a metallic blue custom paint job caught my eye, and I found myself openly ogling the newest addition to the FHS student lot: a '67 Shelby GT. Impressed, I let out a long, low whistle. "I'd sure as fuck like to see what she's got under the hood," I mumbled under my breath.

"You and every man in a 50-foot radius, so get in line, bitch," a contralto voice spoke from over my shoulder. Smiling at her snarky comment, I turned to see a beauty of the same caliber of Rosalie. She had long, strawberry-blonde curls that fell just below her shoulders and shone even in the cloud-filtered daylight. Freckles sprinkled the bridge of her petite nose, and she had a gorgeous, glowing tan. I could tell that she had a perfect dancer's body, with lean muscles and a round ass, because her tight leggings left very little to the imagination.

When the breeze fanned her hair, I caught a whiff of her spicy, exotic perfume. From her cute black ballet flats to her white babydoll top, barely containing an ample chest to rival my own, I could tell this girl was trouble. I held in a chuckle as I considered what the boys of Forks were in for.

"V8?" I asked, arching an eyebrow towards the venerable machine. She nodded in response. _Nice._ "Bella Swan," I said politely, extending a hand.

"Tanya Petersen," she replied with a smirk, shaking my hand.

_Shit. No. It can't be._

As we walked into the school, I reasoned with myself that it couldn't possibly be the same Tanya—not _Edward's_ Tanya. Moments later, my irrational fears were confirmed as Edward came skidding around a corner at top speed, with Alice in tow. Instantly, he froze, looking back and forth between Tanya and me with an expression of sheer horror on his devastatingly beautiful face. Almost as quickly as he'd appeared, he was gone, fleeing with Alice in the direction from whence he came.

"Edward," I muttered venomously, glaring at the spot where he'd been standing.

"Oh, you know _my_ Eddie?" she asked, her once melodic voice turning slightly acidic.

"_Your Eddie?_" I said, laughing. I couldn't resist commenting, so I added, "Your Eddie didn't look too happy to see you."

Her sweet, freckled face quickly crumpled into a fierce glare. "I'm pretty sure that look was directed at you, bitch," she snarled.

_Whoa, mood swing, much? I must have touched on a sensitive area…_

"Maybe," I shrugged, still chuckling. I was trying to provoke her, and apparently it was working. "He and I aren't exactly on the best terms right now. You know, bad breakup…"

"What?" she screeched. "Breakup, like, from a relationship?"

I was beginning to detect the source of her anxiety. Undoubtedly, she thought that _her Eddie_ didn't do relationships. So, of course, I continued.

"Yeah, from a relationship. You know… boyfriend, girlfriend, meet-the-parents, movie dates… the whole nine yards," I explained innocently. _There's no fucking way she's going to take this well._

"Listen, slut, I don't know what kind of game you're playing, but I don't like it," she screamed, her face an unflattering shade of purple.

"I'm not playing a game, Tanya," I said calmly. "But, I must say, it's hilarious to be called a slut by Edward's former _fuck buddy_."

With that, she lunged at me. I think she was going for my hair, but I sidestepped her. I could see Emmett coming to break it up in my peripheral vision, so I knew I had to make it quick. I punched Tanya right in the ear and she dropped like a dead weight. By the time Em reached us, I held up my hands in a show of surrender, and I strolled casually down the hall to Lit class, leaving the others to clean up the strawberry-blonde mess.

Our little squabble had drawn a crowd, mostly consisting of boys with their tongues out, wishing they had some jello to throw into the mix, but none of the teachers seemed to notice. _I swear, you could commit murder at this school and the administration would turn their heads. _

Having dealt Tanya a very satisfying blow to the skull, I reached the classroom with a little spring in my step. After spending less than ten minutes in her company, I already couldn't stand her, so I couldn't imagine that Edward would be any happier about her sudden appearance than I was. _I wonder if he taped her mouth before he banged her._ I cringed at the very thought.

Newton came in, immediately taking a seat beside me. "I heard you owned the new girl in the hallway! That is so fuckin' hot," he exclaimed, his blue eyes bright with adoration.

"Nah," I shrugged. "Might have been hot if she'd have fought back," I teased, and his jaw dropped.

With two minutes until class started, Tanya staggered in with an icepack to her ear, clinging to Edward's arm for dear life. _I was so not expecting that._ I stiffened in my chair, then forced a smile at them both before my reaction gave me away.

"I see you woke up, Tanya," I said sweetly. "Try to touch me again, and I'll put this stiletto so far up your ass you'll choke on it."

The color drained from Tanya's face, but she said nothing. Edward looked like he wanted to crawl in a hole and die. He led her to a desk near the front and she sat down, but she retained a death grip on his hand.

I wanted to scream, "He's mine! Get your filthy hands off, bitch!" but he _was_ not, and I _could _not.

Unfortunately, Lauren chose that moment to pipe up. "Looks like your ex found himself a new toy already," she said with a laugh. I had to give it to her, she had guts. It took balls to say something like that to me, after having just watched me beat another girl unconscious in the hallway.

"They're old friends," I replied, trying my best to sound unconcerned.

Lauren shrugged, obviously not convinced. "Do you knock out all of Edward's friends?" she asked.

I turned to face her, wide-eyed. "I don't know, Lauren," I said slowly. "Are _you_ Edward's friend?"

"Fuck no!" she cried, drawing the attention of the entire class. I just smiled smugly and resumed taking notes, all the while making a valiant effort not to peek over to _their_ general direction.

When the bell finally rang, Edward stood immediately, and a rather bedraggled-looking Tanya immediately superglued herself to his right arm. _Ugh._

"The damn Gingers have to stick together," I whispered rather loudly, to a resounding chorus of snickers.

"Hey, Bella," Tyler called from across the room as we all gathered our books, "if I'm a really naughty boy, will you kick _my _ass, later?"

"I'll think about it, T," I replied with a smirk. _I guess since word has spread that Cullen and I are through, I'm fair game once again… Oh, joy._

***

I avoided Edward and Tanya like the plague, hiding out in the bathroom and waiting until the very last minute to go to my classes so I wouldn't have a chance encounter with either of them. When I caught sight of Alice in Trig, I resisted the urge to pull her into my lap and stroke her hair like a little treasure troll. I settled for dragging my desk over until it touched hers.

"Ali," I groaned, "please tell me what the fuck that bitch is doing here, followed by a list of the best ways to get her to go away again."

"She just transferred here as a student. Honestly, I think she was following us. Well, following Edward, more specifically," Alice said. I put my head on my desk and gestured for her to continue. "As for the latter, I think you'll need a bible, some holy water, and at least two priests… preferably, a young one and an old one."

"I was afraid of that," I muttered into the desk.

"Or, you could always try hitting her again," she added brightly. After a few minutes, her tone turned serious. "Bella, do I need to get Jazz in here to cheer you up? He's wearing the pirate thing today, and I know that's your favorite…"

"No, it's okay," I murmured despondently. "I just need some time, I think. It can't hurt this badly forever, right? The Tanya thing is pretty awful, and it's piss-poor timing, but ever since she arrived this morning, _'Eddie'_ has looked at least as miserable as I feel. I mean, if he'd actually been happy to see her, I probably would have thrown myself off the roof this morning," I joked dryly.

"Bella, the school is one story," Alice said in a somber tone. "You'd probably just break your legs."

"True," I replied. "Maybe I'd have to slit my wrists with a plastic cafeteria knife. If you keep sawing, you eventually have to get somewhere, right?"

"Perhaps," Alice agreed, "but we've been out of plastic knives all week, so you'd have to resort to a fork or spoon. Or a spork."

I sighed. "I suppose death via stab to the jugular with a spork would have to suffice. I think it's dramatic enough, don't you?"

Alice nodded vehemently.

***

To my immense relief, neither Tanya nor Edward were in the cafeteria at lunch time. The relief lasted for about thirty seconds, until I realized that wherever they were, they were possibly together. I almost heaved into a trashcan, but I fought back the bile just in time.

Trying to focus on the positive, I took the opportunity to sit at my old spot at the table with Alice, Jazz, Emmett, and Rosalie. It had only been a matter of days, but I missed them all terribly. When Edward left me, he not only broke my heart, he also drove a wedge between me and the closest thing to siblings I'd ever had. I had a bad feeling that I was only beginning to realize how badly it would hurt to lose them all.

"Oh," Alice said, "I keep forgetting to return this." She dug around in her bag, then produced a thin crystal vase that I'd loaned her. Fragile though it was, she had to bring it to me at school, because in all likelihood, I would never set foot in the Cullen house again. The thought overwhelmed me with grief and loss—their place had begun to feel more like a home to me than Charlie's house. Stifling a sob, I hit the cafeteria doors at a dead run.

"Bella, no!" came Alice's shrill yell from somewhere behind me, but I was already gone.

What I saw in the hallway stopped me dead in my tracks—Tanya had my fallen angel pressed up against the lockers. Her lips were pressed to his and her hands gripped his strong shoulders. _No._ White-hot pain exploded behind my eyes as a strangled cry of longing and defeat escaped me. With a pop, the crystal vase in my hand exploded, and I felt a stinging pain as the shards sliced through the flesh of my palm. The stinging provided a momentary distraction, jarring me enough that I turned and ran.

I heard footsteps pounding the halls behind me as I flung the remaining pieces of the vase aside, spattering the wall with blood as I passed. Edward's unmistakable velvet voice rang out behind me, "Bella, stop! Please, you're hurt!" The tortured sound of my name on his lips made me cry out, but I didn't stop.

Cursing my stiletto heels all the way, I sprinted to my car and hastily wrapped my hand in a towel from the glovebox. I kicked up a cloud of dust and gravel in my wake as I hit the highway going 70. A familiar silver Volvo pulled onto the road behind me, but I ignored it as I dialed my cell phone with a trembling, damaged hand.

Renee answered on the third ring. "Hello?" she answered, and I was relieved to hear the sound of her voice.

"Mom?" I said, my voice shaking slightly, "I need a flight to Phoenix, as soon as possible. I'm coming home."

She understood, as I knew she would, and she didn't ask questions. "I'll try to book you a flight right away. Let me call you back in a few minutes."

"Thanks, Mom," I replied. "I love you."

"I love you too, baby," she said, and I disconnected the call.

One glance in the rearview mirror confirmed that the silver Volvo was still tailing me. He was close enough that I could make out the blazing green of his eyes. _Oh, Edward, why?_ The expression on his face looked like someone had lit him on fire, and he was slowly burning from the inside out. Vaguely, I wondered what I looked like to him. _It's too late, my angel. I'm already gone._

The cut nerves in my right hand screamed as I gripped the gearstick and shifted hard, accelerating. Jake had made a few tweaks under the hood of my Audi, and I knew Edward could never keep up. As I shifted again, unwelcome images clouded my vision – a mane of red-tinged-blonde curls, her body fitted to the hard lines of his – but the sharp pain in my palm cleared my head. The miles stretched out, the Volvo dropping further and further behind, until finally I could no longer see it.

Two hours later, I was on a plane to Phoenix. I'd called Charlie from the airport to let him know where I was, and I asked him to overnight a few of my things to Renee's house. He was concerned about James, but I reassured him that I would be fine. As far as I figured, there were two possibilities. The first option was that James was actually lurking in Forks. If that was the case, I'd be perfectly safe on this unannounced trip to Arizona. The second option was that James was in Phoenix and he'd been there all along. Even if that were the case, he would never know that I was in town, and all of his harassing phone calls had just been empty threats, anyway. Charlie grudgingly accepted my logic, and I agreed to call him in a couple of days.

Renee phoned the school for me and informed them that I'd be out for a week due to a family emergency. With my perfect grades, the school couldn't really say anything, and they didn't object. I didn't know if a week would be enough time, but I intended to stay down in Phoenix for long enough to get myself collected so that I could finish out the school year. I was quite certain that I would feel better once I didn't have to face Edward every day. It was the blackest kind of torture to have to see him all the time, hear his voice, catch subtle traces of his glorious scent…

The loudspeaker interrupted my thoughts with an announcement that we were making our final descent into Phoenix.

***

Renee picked me up from the airport, and I sighed with relief as I hugged her. Silly, irrational creature that she was, she was still my mother, and she could comfort me like no one else could. The words poured out of me as I told her everything. I told her about Edward – our rough start, and the deep green color of his eyes, and the way he dazzled me with his smile, and how everything went wrong. She laughed and cried with me, but mostly she just listened.

Above all things, Renee was an observant, intuitive person, and I knew I would need her help to get through this. Sensing that I needed some time to wallow in my pain, she didn't object when I moped around the house for days. Lying in bed with the window shades drawn, I let the misery have me. I thought about the cold, hard look in Edward's eyes when he left me, confused and naked in my bed. I thought about the way Tanya looked by his side—two examples of physical perfection, like halves of a whole. I thought about all the things that he'd let her do to his body, now that I was gone.

On Friday, Renee and Phil staged an intervention of sorts. Having decided that enough was enough, they insisted that I get out of the house a little bit. Finally agreeing, I threw on a navy blue bikini and some SPF 45, then spent the day lounging by the pool. As the warm rays of the sun soaked into my skin, I begrudgingly admitted that I felt better. I was nowhere near "cured", but at least I felt somewhat human, and that was a marked improvement.

I decided to call Angela to see if she wanted to meet for dinner while I was in town. She was thrilled to hear from me, and I could sense that she was embarrassed for not doing a better job of keeping in touch. She told me all about her new boyfriend, Mark, and explained that he'd been taking up all of her free time. I told her I'd love to meet him, so we made plans to have dinner together on Saturday night.

I awoke on Saturday morning to the early morning sunlight coming through the bedroom window, and I felt… okay. Smiling with the realization, I showered in my bathroom, then dressed and took a walk. I stopped by the drugstore to pick up a few items, and I had lunch at an outdoor café. It felt nice to walk around, free from my worries and obligations, however temporarily.

Eventually, I walked back home to get ready for my dinner date with Ang and Mark. I enjoyed looking through my wardrobe of "Phoenix clothes" to pick out an outfit, as I hadn't seen my warm-weather attire in quite awhile. I settled on a black cashmere cardigan and a cute little khaki skirt with black sandals. We had 7 pm reservations for an outdoor Mexican restaurant, and I grabbed my purse and left a few minutes early, calling out my goodbyes to Renee and Phil as I shut the door behind me. Since it was a beautiful evening, I decided to walk to the restaurant. It wasn't that far, and I figured I'd better enjoy the warm weather while I could.

I made it to the restaurant just in time, and I was immediately swept up into a hug. "Bella, it's so good to see you," Angela's familiar voice squealed as she clung to me.

"It's great to see you, too, Ang," I said as she released me. I observed a tall, thin man standing behind her, and I assumed he was Angela's boyfriend. "Is this the man I've heard so much about?" I fibbed, because I hadn't really heard anything about him besides the fact that he's the reason Angela hadn't been returning my calls.

"It is," she squeaked excitedly. "Bells, this is Mark… Mark, Bella."

"It's nice to meet you," I said, shaking his hand. He seemed nice enough, if a little shy, but over the course of speaking with him at dinner, I decided that he was a perfect match for Angela. After dinner had wrapped up, we paid the check and parted ways. They offered me a ride home, but the sun was still up, so I decided to walk again.

Contentedly full and lost in my thoughts, I took the long way home. It was not quite twilight, and I had plenty of time to get back before dark. I considered Mark and Angela, and their easy, contented relationship, and I couldn't help but wonder if that was love. What they shared seemed more akin to the kind of friendly feelings I had for Jacob than what I'd consider real love. Sadly, I wondered if the weird, almost supernatural connection that Edward and I had shared would ruin me for every loving anyone else. I got the overwhelming impression that I'd never feel for anyone a tenth of what I felt for him, and the thought was miserable.

So absorbed was I in my own thoughts that I didn't hear the footsteps behind me until it was too late.


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16 – Breakable**

_So absorbed was I in my own thoughts that I didn't hear the footsteps behind me until it was too late… _

As I walked through a narrow alleyway separating the business district from the park beside Phil and Renee's neighborhood, I heard the faint crunch of gravel behind me. The noise startled me, and I automatically clenched my fists, making the still-tender cuts on my right hand sing with pain. Glancing over my shoulder, I saw the lean, wiry form of the one person who could terrify me down to the very marrow in my bones. _James._

Before I could blink, he was standing right in front of me. I considered running, and he must have seen the idea flicker across my face, because he laughed, a cold, mirthless sound. "You can try to run, but we both know I'll catch you," he said with a smirk.

I knew I had to stand up for myself, but my lower lip started to tremble. James was strong, and he was dangerous, and I was afraid. I looked around the alleyway frantically, finding nothing that could save me. It was twilight, and the brick buildings on either side of the alley cast long shadows on the narrow path between. The area was deserted and quiet, save for the wet pounding of my own pulse in my ears, and we were alone.

"Get out of my way, you psycho fuck," I spat with all the force I could muster.

"I don't think so, Bella. We're just getting started," he crooned.

"What the hell are you doing here, James?"

"I've been waiting for you, of course. I knew sooner or later you'd come running back to Mommy." He said, his chilling words betraying the calm tone of his voice.

"You… you were never in Forks?" I stuttered.

His crocodile grin spoke volumes. "No," he admitted, creeping closer to me with each word. "I just couldn't stand not to hear the sound of your voice. And I knew if I convinced you that I'd followed you to Forks, you would be all the more likely to come back to Phoenix… _unprotected_. It wasn't hard to pull it off—you are, after all, an exquisitely predictable creature."

"Predict _this_, you sick motherfucker," I whispered as my knee made contact with his groin.

Grunting, he bent over in pain, and I took the opportunity to sprint in the opposite direction. I didn't get far though, because my sandal caught on the pavement. I barely had time to close my eyes as I fell towards the rough asphalt, but the impact never came. Two strong arms caught me and stood me upright.

"That was not polite, Isabella," James hissed, and I cringed away from his harsh tone. He had a crazed look in his ice blue eyes, and I knew he had every intention of hurting me.

He squeezed my upper arms tightly to restrain me, but I fought against him with every ounce of my strength. His masculine body was impossibly fast and strong, and he overpowered my struggles with seemingly little exertion. Gripping my throat with one hand, he slammed my body against the alley wall, then spat his words in my face. "You always were a little cocktease. Flaunting it in my face, always leading me to the very edge but never letting me claim what was mine…" his voice lowered, and his frightening eyes bore into mine. "I'm going to take you the way I always wanted to, and this time there's nothing you can do to stop me."

_No. Please, God, no._

From the pocket of his jeans, he withdrew a switchblade, popping the blade out and waving it, taunting me. He dropped his forehead to mine, then trailed his nose over to my ear as I shivered in disgust. "If you scream, I'll slit your beautiful throat," he practically purred in my ear. And I believed him.

I struggled against his strong limbs, fraught with panicked frustration at my own weakness. The hand clamped around my throat was cutting off my oxygen, and the world started to get fuzzy. Desperate to get my words out before I lost consciousness, I spoke in a rush. "My virginity was never yours to take, you stupid pig. I didn't let you have it then, and you won't have it now."

"What?" he bellowed in a tone of incredulous rage, "You're lying, you bitch!" In his momentary distraction, his hand loosened slightly, and my lungs drew a shallow breath of air.

"No," I chuckled darkly. "His name is Edward. He fucked me and I screamed his name all night long. He's twice the man you ever were," I added, with a pointed glance to James's crotch. I immediately regretted looking there, because I could see the bulge of his erection straining against the fabric of his jeans. Involuntarily, I gagged. _He's actually going to do it. He's going to hurt me, and there's no one here to stop him._

I knew that either I could whimper and cry the whole time, or I could berate him. I couldn't fight him, so all I had left were my words. I realized that it would probably make things worse for me, but I couldn't stand to let this happen without doing whatever I could.

His hand left my airway, only to move roughly over my body. As I choked and gasped for air, his hands were everywhere, squeezing and pinching hard enough to bruise my skin. When he glanced up at me, his eyes twinkling maniacally, I spat in his face. He slammed me up against the bricks, hard, and I felt the trickle of blood as it ran down the back of my scalp. It was almost worth it to see James's indignant expression.

"I'm not a virgin," I screamed at him. "That's what you wanted, isn't it? To take my innocence? Well, I'm not innocent, anymore. I'm tainted, damaged, impure… Why waste your time?" I asked, vainly trying to get him to change his mind.

"If you can't be my virgin lamb, then you'll just have to be my filthy little whore. Either way, I'm going to fuck you so hard that you'll bleed from the _inside_," he said with a sinister smile.

_No, no, no. _

He ripped my cardigan open, scattering its buttons across the pavement and exposing my heaving chest to his eyes. My breasts strained against my bra, and he leered at them at length, licking his lips in a manner that turned my stomach as he pinned my arms against the wall.

"Like what you see, you worthless prick?" I taunted. "If you don't stop this right now, these are the last tits you'll see for a long time, because your ass will be rotting in jail."

"Unless you're conveniently unable to tell anyone," he whispered into the skin of my neck. His words sent a chill of horror through me, and I felt the hot sting of bile rising in my throat. _Please, no. I can't die, not like this. I have regrets, and things left unsaid. Edward. Oh, God._

James squeezed my thigh viciously, then hitched my leg up around his waist as he unzipped his pants. _No!_

As I thrashed violently against him, I somehow managed to free my arms from his grip. I used my hands to slap and claw at his face. He slammed my head against the wall again, harder this time, and I must have lost consciousness briefly, because my body went limp in his grasp. Taking advantage of my weakened state, he wrapped both hands behind and under my thighs, lifting me up to drape both my legs around his waist and scraping my back against the bricks in the process.

My head felt woozy and I could barely lift it. I felt him him reach under my skirt and push the cloth of my underwear aside. "Did you start yet?" I asked with a sneer. "Because your dick is so small, I won't feel it, anyway." James froze momentarily, his face twisted into an unblinking mask of fury. Then, suddenly, he was gone. With his weight no longer pinning my body to the wall, I slid down to the ground, where I slumped in a quaking pile.

Fighting against the fuzziness that threatened to overtake my vision, I tried to focus on what was happening in the shadow-filled alley. Between slow blinks of my heavy eyelids, I caught strobe-like glimpses of the surreal scene in front of me. There was a flash of a knife blade. Edward had James pinned to the wall by his neck in a grotesque position – _blink_ – James was laying on the ground with Edward above him. I heard the sickening crunch of James's ribs as Edward's shoe made repeated contact with his torso – _blink_ – Edward grasped him by the hair, extending his neck at an odd angle as he hissed something in his ear.

Finally, the darkness won, overtaking my vision and hazing my consciousness. _I must be dying, because my angel is here. I wouldn't have expected him, but I'm glad he came._

As I opened my eyes to see Edward's flawless face, I couldn't help but smile. "I must be dead," I mused aloud. "Though, being dead and all, I wouldn't think my head would still hurt this badly."

"Of course you're not dead," the angel said, "you're going to be fine."

"Nope," I argued stubbornly, "I'm definitely dead. You're just a figment of my imagination who looks a disturbingly lot like the man who murdered my soul."

As the sickening metallic scent of blood – copper and salt – reached my nostrils, I blacked out.

***

When I became aware of my surroundings, I couldn't bear to open my eyes. From the rough sheets, the antiseptic smell, and the pinch of tape on my hand, I knew that I was in the hospital. The rhythmic beeps of a heart monitor sounded from somewhere nearby. I tried to move my head, but the answering pain in my temples was nearly unbearable. A hand gripped mine tightly, and I finally found the courage to speak.

"Renee?" I asked tentatively, because I knew she'd be by my side.

"Yes, baby?" came her voice from somewhere in the room.

"_Did he?_" The following pause must have only lasted seconds, but it felt like an eternity.

"No, he didn't, thank God," she said, her voice cracking with emotion, and I let out a sob of relief at her words. "Edward stopped him just in time."

My eyes snapped open in shock, and when they adjusted to the light from the harsh fluorescent bulbs above me, I saw him. He was standing beside the bed, holding my hand. His bronze hair stuck out at random angles, and the warmth in his dazzling green eyes mirrored the warm, crooked smile that graced his perfect lips.

"Edward," I breathed, and the heart monitor sped it's cadence of beeps embarrassingly. "What are you doing here?"

"I came after you," he said simply, his voice a warm blend of dulcet tones.

"I can see that, but _why_?" I asked, growing slightly exasperated.

"Because I had to," he said, as though it were the most obvious thing in the world. My eyes narrowed in suspicion. "Tanya kissed _me_," he explained, "she practically attacked me, and I was so surprised that I froze for a moment. Before I could push her off, you were there," he trailed off sadly. "I'm so sorry that you had to see that."

I glanced up at Renee, and she took that as her cue to leave the room, giving us some privacy. I pulled my hand from Edward's, and my skin tingled, protesting the loss of contact. He looked pained for an instant before he controlled his expression.

"Yeah, it hurt to see that skank pressed up against you, more than I can say. But it's really none of my business, not anymore. Things are over between us, so as far as I'm concerned, you can do whatever the fuck you want," I said, rolling my eyes. _You can do whatever you want. And each time you do, it will cut away another little piece of my soul, until eventually there is nothing left. _"So, you followed me all the way to Phoenix just to tell me that things weren't what they looked like with Tanya?" I questioned, skeptical.

Something inside him seemed to break free, and a look of anguish twisted his angular features. "I can't fucking do this anymore!" he growled.

My nerves still raw from the traumatic encounter with James, I instinctively recoiled from Edward's harsh tone.

Immediately, his expression softened into one of regret. "I'm so sorry, Bella, I didn't mean to scare you," he said, reaching again for my hand. I pulled it away from him, and he stuffed his hands in his pockets, instead. "I would never hurt you."

I snorted at his ridiculous words, and he looked at me, his eyes widened in horror and disbelief. "I know you'd never rape me in an alley, but you hurt me more deeply than James ever could," I said softly, looking into his eyes as my truthful words sank in.

Utterly defeated, he fell to his knees at my bedside. "I was so rough with you," he whispered, "I knew you could never forgive me for taking your virginity like that."

"Oh, so you actually believe that I was a virgin now?" I asked coldly. "Because I seem to recall that you accused me of _lying_, before."

Edward looked miserable, like he was burning, again. "I knew you were telling the truth. I was only lying to myself—I couldn't handle the thought that I had just taken you that way," he muttered, almost to himself.

"Why can't you just fucking understand," I cried, frustrated. "The sex was perfect—raw and natural and fucking beautiful. There was nothing to forgive! I hate you because you walked out on me." Unwelcome tears streamed down my face, and I couldn't hold back any longer. He had to know the truth. "I was in love with you, and you left, and it broke my heart," I said, my voice cracking on the last word.

Instantly, he was in my arms, or I was in his, and we clung to each other like it could somehow fix everything. His familiar touch must have healed me fractionally, because I gained enough control to push him away by his shoulders. He cried out in pain, then slumped against the hospital bed beside me.

"Edward?" I asked tentatively, reaching for the neck of his shirt. He nodded slightly, so I pulled the cloth aside, exposing his muscular shoulder. It was bandaged and taped, and I could see a spot of bright red blood seeping through the gauze. I gasped, and without thinking, my lips moved to his neck, placing little kisses down the line of his collarbone to the edge of the bandages.

Blushing, I pulled away and looked at him. His head was tilted back, his eyes closed. Finally, he spoke. "When I knocked James off of you, he stabbed me. It's nothing, really." His eyebrows furrowed and he opened his eyes to look at me. "If I had been only a few minutes later…" he began, and a shuddering sob wracked his body. I saw tears well up in his eyes, but he blinked them back, swallowing.

"How did you find me?" I asked, suddenly curious.

"It sounds crazy, but Alice kind of… had some sort of… a premonition. She called me as soon as I got off the plane, practically in hysterics. She told me where to find you, and that James was there. I took a cab from the airport, screaming at the driver to hurry up the whole way, and I almost went insane, not knowing if I could get there in time. When I saw him holding you against the wall, I snapped." Edward's eyes were clouded as he relived the scene. "I could have killed him, Bella. I almost did."

"Where," I paused, unsure of whether I wanted to ask the question. "Where is he now?"

"He's in police custody, now, Bella. He'll never hurt you again. They had to take him to a hospital, but I insisted that they send him somewhere else," Edward explained, looking down. "I didn't want him anywhere near you."

I took a deep breath and tried to swallow the lump in my throat so I could say what needed to be said. "Thank you for saving my life, but you shouldn't have." Edward gasped, but I didn't look up to meet his eyes, studying instead the thin fabric of my hospital gown. "You could have been killed… and for _what_? For _me_? You should just go back to Forks where you belong."

"But, Bella, I—" he began, and I could see it in his eyes. The lie. Those three words that would deliver the death blow to my already fragile existence.

"Get out," I screamed, and he jumped off the bed and scrambled to the door. He turned to speak again, but I didn't let him. "Now!" I howled, and he left the room, almost knocking into Renee as she hurried in the door.

Renee came over to the bed, pressing the button on my IV to give me a much-needed dose of pain medicine. Silently, she stroked my hair as the grogginess set in, and I fell into a deep, medicated sleep, my head swirling with unasked, unanswered questions.


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17 – Redemption**

When I awakened, my head was swimming slightly from some unholy combination of medication and head trauma. I started to squirm around under the scratchy sheets, but I abandoned that plan when I felt a wave of movement-induced nausea. Throwing up would be bad enough, but my mother had always been a sympathetic puker, and I knew if I lost it, the results would be disastrous.

Renee was occupying the seat by my bed, flipping through a magazine. Looking up when she heard me shift around in the bed, she came over to straighten my pillows and smooth my hair a bit. Still pissed off and confused about my conversation with Edward, I didn't hesitate to start questioning her.

"Why the hell did you let him in here, after all that he's done? Aren't you supposed to be on _my_ side?" I asked.

"He saved my baby's life. I owe him," she said simply. "Besides, he's in love with you. I can tell. I don't know how or why he did those things to you, but he loves you." I rolled my eyes, but she continued. "Perhaps you should give him a chance to explain?" I sighed. _ I_ knew _this was coming…_

I decided to change the subject. "My head hurts," I complained.

"You have a pretty serious concussion. The doctors want to keep you here overnight so they can monitor your condition," Renee explained.

"That's funny. I haven't actually seen a doctor, at least that I'm aware of, since I've been here."

"The pain meds have kept you pretty out of it—you've been sleeping a lot," she said, stroking my hair again. "Though, I have to say, you're missing out. Your doctor is one of the finest looking men I've ever seen!" she giggled, making a show of fanning her face with her hand.

_Wait a minute! Hot Carl? I mean, uh, Dr. Cullen. Nah, it couldn't be. There's _no way_ he flew down here just to check on me…_

"When are you and Phil going back to Florida?" I asked, hoping to keep the conversation away from my bronze-haired obsession.

"We're staying at the house here for another week before he has to be back," she said, then made an attempt at giving me a stern look. "And I know you're trying to change the subject."

_Damnit._ "Is… is he gone? I mean, did he go back to Washington?" The hope in my voice sounded pathetic, even to me. After all, I had just practically thrown him out of my room and insisted that he go back. But, if I was honest with myself, I wanted him to stay. He saved me from James, and at the very least he deserved the chance to try to explain himself. _It's probably too late—he's probably already on a plane already. The sky really is the fucking limit for my idiocy._

"No, Bella, Edward's still here. He's been in the waiting room since your argument. I wish he would at least get a hotel room, though. He needs better rest than what a waiting room couch can provide in order to heal," she said, shaking her head. "You know that bastard stabbed him in the shoulder, right?"

I just nodded. "Yeah, I feel awful about it. Is it bad?"

"Not as bad as it could have been," she replied. "The doctors said it was a pretty clean cut, and it missed the major blood vessels. He barely let them tape it up, though, because he refused to leave your side. He won't even take any pain medicine. It seems like he's trying to punish himself," she said, giving me a pointed glance.

_Wow. Could I feel like any more of a complete ass? I think not._

I sighed. "Yeah, he's all about the self-flagellation." I tried to sit up too quickly, and the sudden pain in my head made me wince. Before I could stop her, my mom was pressing the button to deliver more medication into my system. "I really wish you'd stop doing that," I slurred as the room hazed and darkened, and I fell into another strange, unnatural sleep.

When I opened my eyes again, the room was dark, save for the dim glow of a light shining through the cracked bathroom door. For the first time all evening, I felt strangely alert. The air buzzed with unique electricity, and I knew I wasn't alone. In the faint light, I could discern the outline of a person as he sat in a chair across the room. _Edward._

My soft words cut into the charged air. "How's your shoulder?"

"It's fine, Bella," his velvety voice replied as he laughed quietly. "You have a serious head injury and you're worried about my little flesh wound?"

_Yes._ I didn't know what to say, so I didn't answer him. For a moment, we sat in the thick silence.

"Why did you leave me?" I asked, my voice so weak it was almost a whisper.

Edward moved closer, and I felt the edge of the mattress sink under his weight as he sat down.

"I tried so hard to be deserving of your love," he began with a sigh. "I tried to take it slowly with you, to prove to you that I was worthy of your affection, but I am so inexorably drawn to your body as well as your soul. In a moment of weakness, my control slipped. Then knowing that I had hurt you when I took your virginity was unbearable. I thought I was a monster. I realized what a thoroughly despicable creature I was, and that's why I left."

He paused, and despite the relative darkness I knew he was running his hand through his hair nervously. "I couldn't believe that you would ever want to speak to me again, but when you did, and asked for an explanation, I was unforgivably cruel. I wanted you to hate me so that you would stay away, and I suppose I got my wish," he said with a humorless chuckle. His tone became somber again. "I can't ever afford to lose control with you, Bella. You're much too precious for that."

My eyes had adjusted to the dim light, so I rested my palm gently on his uninjured shoulder. "I'm not as fragile as you seem to believe, Edward. I'm a grown woman, not some delicate little kitten."

He nodded slowly before speaking again. "You have to understand, Bella. I was afraid I would mess up and do something to hurt you again, so I pushed you away, and ended up hurting you even worse in the process. I swear to you, I thought it was for the best. In my history with women, though I've never really cared for anyone but you, they have all ended up damaged or broken somehow. I could never let myself do that to you."

Sighing deeply and looking down, he continued. "I thought about moving away, so I could just leave you in peace and you would forget about me and the horrible things I'd done. But I convinced myself that I needed to stay so I could protect you from James. In truth, though James was part of it, I just couldn't bear to be apart from you. It was torture, seeing you every day, not being able to touch you, knowing that I'd made you hate me," he said, putting his head in his hands.

"I didn't do a very good job of hating you, because I love you too damned much," I admitted, and he turned to face me.

His green eyes seemed to flash in the semi-darkness, and I held his gaze, captivated. "I love you, too, Bella. With all my heart and soul," he said, and his whispered words cut straight to my heart.

"Don't say that to me," I said gently, squeezing my eyes shut. "If you loved me, you never could have left me that way."

"I left _because_ I love you," he replied earnestly. I raised my eyebrows expectantly, because there was no way he was getting off the hook without a better explanation than that. "I love you… and I was terrified," he elaborated.

_Ah, there it is, at last. You pansy-ass, chicken shit, I'll-hurt-you-before-you-hurt-me motherfucker. I'll let you go on, but only because you took down my would-be rapist and took a knife to the shoulder in the process._

I said nothing, silently imploring him to continue. "It's pretty pathetic, really," he said, shrugging. "Besides my own family, I'd never felt anything but barely-concealed distain for anyone, including the girls I fucked. Then, when I met you, I experienced things I'd never felt before. I felt so strongly for you, from the very beginning, and it scared me shitless. I didn't know how to deal with it—I knew I wasn't worthy of your love, and I was just waiting for you to realize it, too. I figured that eventually you'd drop me. On some level, I'm sure that fear has probably been fueling my actions all along."

I sat for a moment, attempting to process his blatantly honest words. I wanted to be angry with him, but his words made sense. The whole reason I'd sworn off guys in the first place was because I didn't want to get burned again…_ Ah, sweet, comfortable self-preservation._

"That's pretty fucked up, you know that?" I asked with a chuckle.

"Truly," he admitted, running a hand through his tangled mop of hair again.

"So, what changed?" I questioned, still skeptical. "How did you go from being terrified of your feelings and making me hate you to chasing me all the way to Phoenix?"

"When you saw me with Tanya…" he began, his voice a low rumble in his chest, "The look in your eyes before you ran away will haunt me for the rest of my life. I knew that if I let you go then, I'd be losing you forever. Selfish bastard that I am, I couldn't stand to let you go, so I went after you. If I hadn't come after you, or if I had even hesitated," his voice broke, and he took a moment to collect himself, "I could have lost you. I don't know what I would have done… "

His eyes glistened with unshed tears, and I wanted so badly to reach out and comfort him, but we both needed to hear what he had to say. "I wasn't sure I could be the kind of man you deserved, but I know now, without a doubt, that I can. I'm not afraid anymore," he said, his voice tapering off into a whisper. "When I heard you were in danger, something broke inside of me. Had anything happened to you, had I been too late… I don't think I could have gone on without you. I knew at that moment that I could never hurt you again. You are my life now."

"I love you, Edward, but how can you expect me to forgive you? How could I ever trust you again?" I said, my voice trembling with emotion.

He stared down at his hands, contemplating, and when he looked up to meet my gaze, I could detect the faintest glimmer of hope in his eyes. "Let me prove it to you," he said. "Let me show you just how much I love you."

Slowly, he moved to kiss me, but in a remarkable display of self-control, I pulled away before his lips met mine. I craved the sweet softness of his kisses, but I couldn't trust him that way, not yet.

"No, Edward, I can't," I said in softly. Apparently my words were more convincing to his ears than mine, because he retreated to his chair, crestfallen. "I mean, not yet. I need some time to think things over," I added. There were a lot more questions that I would need answers to, but at least it was a start.

His lopsided smile lit up the darkness. "I will happily wait for you forever," he said, his voice exultant.

***

As I sat on the plane, the little air vent above drying out my eyes and contaminating my lungs with recirculated air full of God-knows-what, I couldn't keep the ridiculous grin off my face. I kept stealing little glances at the perfectly-formed Adonis beside me, and every time I looked, he was looking at me, too. We'd been repeating the pattern – look, laugh, smile, then look away – for the entire flight.

I desperately hoped that I could work up to trusting him again, but I also knew that it would take inhuman strength to resist him in the meantime. _I'm going to need reinforcements… Alice! She'll help me..._

My eyes wandered back over to Edward of their own accord. _God, he makes eating those little bags of peanuts look sexy. How is that even possible?_ In my head, we were doing much more than trading shy little glances.

_Edward asks the flight attendant for a blanket, and she brings him one. It's a soft, navy blue fleece blanket, and he cuddles up under it immediately, sighing with contentment. He closes his beautiful eyes for a nap, but I have other ideas, of a decidedly less-wholesome nature. I slip my hand under the blanket, resting it innocently on his knee. He sighs again at the contact, and I squeeze his knee gently. Slowly, my hand works its way up his muscular thigh in a long, firm stroke. He clears his throat but keeps his eyes closed. When I finally reach the juncture between his legs, he's already hard and ready for me. I purr my approval into his ear. 'Such a good boy.' I know it's risky, but I have to feel his bare cock in my hand, so I unzip his pants and pull him out. He manages to stifle a groan as I squeeze and tug the hot, silky skin. Unable to resist any longer, I dip my head beneath the blanket on his lap. I'm sure it's obvious to the other passengers what we're doing, but I can't bring myself to care. I discover that his happy cock made a little droplet of pre-cum for me, and I lick it greedily from the crease at the tip, practically squealing with pleasure… _

"Bella?" Edward asked softly, interrupting my reverie.

"Yeah," I squeaked, then I regulated my voice to an acceptable octave and tried again. "Yes, Edward?" He just stared at me with a look of fascinated awe. "What?" I asked, biting my lip uncomfortably. His penetrating green gaze dropped from my eyes to my captive bottom lip, then back up again. I squirmed in my chair, because I knew what he'd see when he looked at me. I was undoubtedly flushed, with dilated pupils, and I was breathing harder than normal. His eyes darkened as he took in my appearance. _He knows._

Finally, he spoke. "God, what I wouldn't give to be able to read your mind right now."

I kind of shrugged, all the while thanking my lucky fucking stars that he couldn't hear my untoward thoughts. _Is it anti-feminist to fantasize about sucking dick?_ _'Cause if it's wrong, then I don't want to be right._ I smiled at the thought, and ever-perceptive Edward caught me again. _It's going to be a long-ass flight… _

***

When the plane touched down, I called Charlie to let him know that we'd arrived, and we arranged a place to meet. Though he didn't say it, his gruff voice sounded uncharacteristically emotional, and I knew that he was relieved to have me back safely.

Edward's hand ghosting the small of my back, we made our way through the airport to the baggage claim. I saw Charlie waiting, and I began to make my way over to him, but I was blindsided and scooped up into a rib-crunching hug. My face was smooshed into the mystery assailant's firm chest, but when I inhaled, I recognized Jake's woodsy smell.

Punctuating his words with kisses to the top of my head, Jake yelled, "Don't ever, ever, EVER, under _any circumstances _worry me like that again!"

"Sorry, Jake," I said as he released me, flashing him my most apologetic smile.

Jake wasn't impressed. "I should get you one of those ankle bracelets with the little tracking device," he muttered. "Then we could keep an eye on you and make sure you're staying out of trouble. What do you think, Ed?" he asked over my shoulder.

Edward rolled his eyes at the nickname, but the corners of his mouth twitched as he tried to restrain a smile. "I think that's a brilliant idea, actually," he replied.

I turned around to face him, my eyes narrowed. "You wouldn't dare," I said slowly, locking my eyes on Edward's as he stared back in a silent challenge.

Suddenly, I heard a resonant bellow paired with a high-pitched squeal, and I turned to see the source of the discordant sounds. I braced myself for another enthusiastic attack as Emmett and Alice approached, with Rose and Jasper close behind them. To my surprise, Carlisle and Esme were following, as well.

Thankfully, Edward slipped his arm around my waist and drew me close, not releasing me as everyone drew me in for hugs. His grip on me was the only thing restraining Emmett from grabbing me up and pulling a repeat performance of Jake's bone-crushing, feet-dangling embrace.

Carlisle approached last, and I stuck out a hand to shake his, because I didn't know what the appropriate course of action was. Chuckling, he ignored my outstretched hand and pulled me into a gentle hug, instead. _Ooooh. Bad, Bella!_

"It's nice to have you back, Bella," he said kindly, and I couldn't help but notice the sparkle of his clear, blue eyes. _Gulp. Version 1.0 has the dazzle down, too._

Edward must have recognized the ridiculous face I was making, because he gave me a slight shake, effectively breaking the spell.

"Thanks, doc," I replied warmly.

I turned to Edward to thank him for not letting me make a total fool of myself, but he was quaking with silent laughter. "What?" I asked defensively. "I can't help it—he's almost as magical as you are." As soon as the words were out of my mouth, my hand flew up to clamp over it, preventing the escape of more verbal embarrassment. _Fuck, really? Did I say that out loud? _

Edward leaned into my ear, his lips barely grazing my earlobe, and spoke. "I suppose that's all right, as long as you think he's _almost_ as magical as I am," he said in a low, velvety tone.


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18 – Get Some**

My breathing hitched and my eyes glazed over. Slowly, I turned to gaze into the most beautiful green eyes I'd ever seen. Even in the crappy fluorescent light, they danced and glittered with playful amusement. Of course, I did the one thing a self-respecting woman could do in that situation: "ALICE!" I cried. The intuitive little midget recognized immediately that I needed help, and she tugged me away from Edward and his sex-trance eyes. Smart boy that he is, Edward released me without complaint, and Alice proceeded to drag me to the exit, the entire entourage of people following behind us in a parade of gorgeousness. And Charlie.

To my great horror, Chief Swan had driven the cruiser, so I hopped into the front seat and prepared for the onset of humiliation that comes as a natural part of being driven around in my father's cop car. The Cullens, of course, brought an entire fleet of luxury vehicles and Jake had his Rabbit, but embarrassing or not, I felt obligated to ride with my dad.

I was surprised and far too pleased for my own good when Edward squeezed into the passenger seat beside me, forcing me to the middle of the bench seat. His shoulder pressed against mine, and I could feel the hard contours of his muscles and the heat of his skin through his shirt. _And why does he have to smell so fucking good?_ I had to physically restrain myself from turning my head to lick his neck. Approaching the car, Charlie took one look at Edward and I squeezed into the front seat together and gave a "harrumph" of disapproval, but he didn't say anything. He just climbed into the driver's seat and started the engine, and we begin the painfully slow, traffic-law-abiding journey home.

When we were about halfway back to Forks, the chief cleared his throat, then began to speak. "Bella, we found out some more information about James while you were gone," he said in his official police business voice. My body tensed automatically, and Edward grasped my hand as Charlie continued. "James was working for a telecommunications company, and he was illegally monitoring some of your calls. That's how he seemed to know so much about your life, and how he was able to obtain your new phone number after you changed it." Charlie paused, and I sensed that he didn't want to share the next piece of information. "He was also tracking your location via the GPS locator in your cell phone."

_Fuck. That's how he knew I was in Phoenix._ I cringed, and Edward began to rub my hand reassuringly. Charlie glanced down at our hands, but again, didn't comment. It would be safe to say that I was freaked the fuck out. The thought of James monitoring my every move from afar was disturbing. To be back in Washington, so far from where I was attacked, made the entire episode seem surreal, and it was becoming difficult to discern nightmare from reality. My head pounding with the after-effects of my concussion, I realized that I needed some time to rest and think. I cowered in the seat, deep in thought, comforted by the warm presence of Edward's body beside me. Too soon, we pulled into the driveway of the Cullen house to drop him off.

Edward turned to face me, his hand on the door handle, and his piercing emerald eyes said it all. He didn't want to leave my side any more than I wanted him to. Ridiculously, I almost teared up as we said our goodbyes and he got out of the car, but I blinked them away before they could fall. He made me promise to call him if I needed anything and I agreed, and with that, he was gone.

It was Sunday evening, and as soon as we got home, I went upstairs and changed into my pajamas. Charlie had offered to let me stay home from school the next day, but I thought it would do me some good to fall back into a quasi-normal routine. I was asleep almost the instant my head hit the pillow, but it was a restless, dream-filled sleep.

_I was in a familiar alley, but this time it was dark, and I couldn't quite see who was behind me. I tried to run, but strong arms caught me, and a large body pressed my face to the warm brick wall. A low voice hissed in my ear. "If you scream, I'll slit your beautiful throat." I tried to struggle, but his hold on me only tightened. "There's nothing you can do to stop me," James said, his voice icy and emotionless. "I'm going to fuck you so hard that you'll bleed from the inside…"_

I awoke to the raspy sound of my own hoarse screams. "Get out of my head!" I yelled, frustrated and exhausted from my fitful night's sleep. I dressed and tried to fix myself up, but the dark circles under my eyes were evident despite the concealer I applied in a half-hearted attempt to hide them. I fumbled my way through classes in a daze, and I wasn't sure whether my inattentiveness was due to lack of sleep or my head injury, but either way my productivity level was shit. Luckily, word hadn't spread about the attack in Phoenix, so at least I was spared the additional drama for the moment. Edward and Alice shot me matching looks of concern throughout the day, but I didn't get a chance to talk to either of them until lunch.

I made my way into the cafeteria, stopping at the vending machine to buy a diet coke and a bag of sunchips before heading over to sit with the Cullens. Looking toward my destination, I halted mid-step. _Fucking Tanya is in my seat._ Though every primal bone in my body screamed for me to take her out once and for all, I fought to maintain a calm demeanor. Carefully, I walked around to the other side of the table, taking a seat beside Alice and studiously ignoring the strawberry blonde bitch. Of course, she couldn't leave well enough alone.

"Bella, you're back," Tanya said, her voice dripping with fake enthusiasm. "How lovely."

I nodded slightly in reply, barely glancing at her before I redirected my attention to Alice.

"You look exhausted, Bella," Tanya spoke again, her sarcastic tone just begging me to punch her in the face. "Rough night last night?"

"You could say that," I replied vaguely. _Stop talking, bitch, or I swear I'll make you regret it._

I noticed that Edward's intense green eyes were locked on mine, his brow furrowed in concern. "What happened, Bella?" he asked in a voice so soothing that I answered his question without stopping to consider it first.

"Uh… I was having nightmares last night," I explained, putting my head in my hands. "I was back in that alley again, and James was there, and he was just so strong…" my voice trailed off, and suddenly Edward was beside me, gently stroking my hair. Alice took my hand as I continued to speak. "He was whispering in my ear, repeating those awful things, and I just felt so helpless. It was happening all over again, and I couldn't stop it."

I looked up, and the eyes of the entire table were on me. Even Rosalie looked concerned, to my surprise. Tanya looked kind of pissed, but I ignored her. Finally, Emmett spoke up. "Don't worry, little B," he said, "I'll never let that crazy bastard hurt you again."

"Thanks, Em," I replied with a small smile, reaching across the table to squeeze his freakishly large forearm.

When I leaned back in my chair, Edward pulled me in close and kissed my forehead sweetly. "I'm so sorry you had to go through that," he whispered against my skin.

I couldn't help but shiver at his touch. "I'm so glad you were there to save me," I whispered back.

Eventually, the bell rang to end the lunch hour, and I stood, deep in thought. Edward hovered protectively at my side, and Tanya gave me a withering death glare that probably would have sent a weaker woman crying home to her mother. Instead, I directed a saccharine smile at her as I walked out of the cafeteria.

As I took notes in my afternoon classes, my mind was free to wander, and I considered what I'd said at lunch. _'I'm so glad you were there to save me.'_ It was such an odd sensation, relying on someone else to help me when I needed it. I always prided myself on being the strong, determined, self-sufficient one—I thought that depending on another person would make me weak. However, when I thought about needing Edward – depending on him, letting him be there for me – it didn't make me feel weak. Quite the opposite, actually. It was almost as if I drew strength from him… as if leaning on him made me stronger. _That's sappy as shit, but I'm blaming it on hormones. Yeah, hormones._

At the end of the day, a horrible thought occurred to me, and I called Alice on the drive home. She picked up on the first ring, like she knew I was going to call. "Hey, Al," I said, "I just thought of something really craptacular."

"What is it, Bella?" she inquired in her musical voice.

"I kind of spilled the beans in front of Tanya today," I explained. "I mean, I'm not actively trying to cover up the attack or anything, but as of right now no one besides your family knows, and it's been really nice to just deal with everything on my own time, without having half the school interrogating me about it. I'm afraid that from what I said today, Tanya will figure it out, and I'm pretty sure she hates me enough to tell everyone at FHS."

"Oh, that's all you're worried about?" Alice asked, and I could hear the smile in her voice. "It's already taken care of."

"What? _How?_" I questioned.

"Rose stopped her before she could even get out of the cafeteria today. She threatened to make Tanya's life a living hell if she so much as mentioned a word of what you'd said to anyone. You should have seen Tanya's face… she was scared shitless," Alice said with a giggle.

"Wow, really. _Rose?_" I said, in stunned disbelief.

"Yeah. I think she's finally warming up to you," Alice confided. "But don't you dare tell her I said that!"

"Okay, I won't," I agreed with a sigh. "That's a huge relief. Thanks, Al."

***

I opened my eyes to the cool morning air as a slight breeze blew across my face. The window was open a crack, but I couldn't recall having left it open last night. At that moment, though, I was too comfy to care. I had about ten minutes before my alarm went off, so I turned over onto my side and snuggled further under my comforter. Closing my eyes, I tried to recall my dreams. I'd been dreaming of Edward, and if I pressed my nose to the blanket and inhaled, I could almost smell his delicious scent lingering in my bed.

The next couple of weeks passed uneventfully. For the most part, my nightmares had been replaced with pleasant dreams of Edward, and I was able to sleep remarkably well. I continued to ignore Tanya at school, and she continued her casual attempts to goad me into lashing out at her. I kept my temper in check, though, because as long as she kept her skanky paws off of Edward, I had no reason to bother with her. The Cullens were awesome as always, if not slightly protective of me since the incident with James.

Edward was… well, Edward. Beautiful and perfect and sweet. He acted kind but a little distant, and I was thankful that he respected my request for some time and space to think. Still, whenever I saw that hopeful little glint flash in his green eyes, it was all I could do not to pull him into the nearest janitor's closet and make him the happiest man in the world. _But, can I trust him with my heart?_

That night, I enjoyed another peaceful sleep. I dreamt that Edward was beside me, holding me, reassuring me. The dream was so vivid that I swore I could smell his sweet cinnamon skin, and I awoke with a longing in the pit of my stomach. My heart wasn't ready, but my body screamed for him, and now that I knew the feel of his hot skin on mine, I ached to feel it again. When I got out of bed, I noticed that my bedroom window was slightly ajar again, but I was sure that I closed it last night. I was instantly suspicious, because I knew of one person who could climb the tree outside and spring through my window with cat-like agility, and I wasn't sure how I felt about said person observing me while I slept. Smiling at the thought of having my own covert operation, I made a plan to test my theory.

The next night, I put on my pajamas and slipped under the covers, curling up on my side in my usual position. Closing my eyes and taking even, measured breaths, I waited. A few minutes later, I heard the slight creak of the window, and Edward was there. He climbed into the bed behind me, and I fought to keep my breathing even, because his mere proximity was sending little currents of energy through my body. Keeping a respectful distance, he lay beside me, stroking my hair gently. I couldn't help but melt further into the mattress, and when I did, he began to sing a soft, low melody. The unfamiliar lullaby was so beautiful that it brought tears to my eyes, and I was glad my back was turned to him, because I couldn't stop them from rolling down my cheeks and soaking into the pillow._ He's been keeping the nightmares away. _ The emotions I felt were so overwhelming that I thought my heart might explode, but eventually I fell asleep there beside him, feeling more secure and loved than I ever had.

When I awoke, alone, to the soft rays of the first sunny day in Forks for over a month, I was conflicted. I called Alice, hoping she could advise me.

"Alice," I practically wailed into the phone when she answered. "He's been keeping the nightmares away!"

"Huh?" was her confused response.

"Your dear brother has been sneaking into my room at night and singing to me while I sleep. That's why I've been able to rest lately… he's staying with me and petting my hair and making sure I don't dream of James."

"Whoa, I didn't see that one coming," Alice said, and I laughed, because it was nearly impossible to surprise Alice. "Actually, Bella, that's kind of creepy."

"Yeah, I thought so too, at first, but it's not like that," I said.

"Please, enlighten me, then," Alice retorted.

"It was like… I could feel the love coming off of him in waves, and I ended up sleeping better than I have in months. There was nothing 'creepy' about it, just comforting. It's not as if he climbed in the window to leer at me while I was sleeping, or something. And, Alice, he barely even touched me. It was so beautiful… it kind of makes me wonder what the hell I've been waiting for," I explained.

"Well," she said, pausing a moment to consider, "what the hell _are_ you waiting for? You love him, he loves you… it's not as if there's some neon sign that's going to appear over his head at the perfect moment and flash 'you can trust me now'."

"I guess I've been waiting for that damn sign," I said with a sigh. "Are you sure there won't be one? Not even just a little one? It doesn't have to be a big neon sign—I'd be perfectly happy with a little lightbulb or something…"

We talked for awhile longer, then hung up so we could get ready for school. It was a Thursday, and it was hard to find the motivation to get ready and to go class, but I managed. Since I'd rearranged my schedule, I only saw Edward once in Lit class, but I was waiting to talk to him at lunch. When I walked into the cafeteria, something was wrong. My brain alerted the pit of my stomach to commence with tying itself in knots, while in the meantime I tried to figure out what I was so worked up about. Then, I noticed our lunch table. All the usual suspects were present, save for Tanya and Edward, and I was hit by a sickening sense of déjà vu. The last time they didn't come to lunch, they were together.

I remembered seeing them in the hall, her body pressed firmly against his, her hands gripping his muscular shoulders… and again, I spun and ran from the lunchroom. This time, though, I wasn't running away. I was going to fucking find him. I stormed down the hallway, then froze. Around the corner in front of me, I could hear the unmistakable velvet tones of Edward's voice.

"I sincerely apologize, Tanya," he said, "but I don't know how I could make this any clearer. We will never be together, and I will never touch you again."

"But, Eddie," she whined, "just once more for old time's sake? I promise, you won't regret it. I remember what you like—"

He cut her off. "I just can't, Tanya. And I won't."

I heard a little shuffle, and I wandered what the hell she was trying to do to him. Peeking around the corner, I could see that she had grabbed handfuls of his shirt, and she was leaning in to try to kiss his neck. My vision blurred with rage, but I held my ground, waiting to see Edward's reaction.

"Just get the fuck off me, Tanya," he growled, and she immediately dropped his shirt and stepped away, a look of shock on her face. When he spoke again, his voice was low and cold. "I realize that we have a past together, and I have made every effort to be entirely polite to you since you arrived. But this is fucking ridiculous! You're throwing yourself at me, and you can't seem to understand that _I don't want you_. I've tried being nice, and that didn't work, so I'm just going to lay it all out there. I am in love. I am completely, irrevocably, stupidly in love with Bella Swan, and I would rather wait a lifetime for her to love me back than spend one more minute wasting my breath on you."

Tanya stood before him, her mouth gaping open in surprise. I'm sure I wore a similar expression as I crept back down the hallway in the direction from whence I came. I was seated at our usual table by the time Edward came stomping into the cafeteria, his fists clenched so tightly that the skin on his knuckles was white. Wordlessly, I hugged him, and the tension seemed to melt out of his body as I held him in my arms. We sat, looking into each other's eyes for awhile, and he seemed to have calmed down completely by the time the bell rang.

_Is it so wrong to let him love me? I want to be a hard-nosed bitch and make him work for it, but I'm only human, and all around me I can feel the evidence that he loves me. Am I hanging on, despite what I know to be true, just out of my own stupid pride? I'm scared that he'll hurt me again, but really I want to trust him. He's my fucking soul mate, and he's begging for me to let him show me how he feels. Everyone has a breaking point, and I, ladies and gentleman, just reached mine._

***

Jasper dropped Alice off at my house early on Friday morning. I told her that I had finally made up my mind, and she insisted on dressing me for the occasion in a sapphire satin corset top and skinny jeans with black boots. We styled my hair in loose waves and left it down, and I accented the look with slightly smoky eyes and my usual pink lipgloss. We rode to school together in the Audi, and I let her select our theme music for the day. As the opening chords of the song filled the car, I regretted that decision.

"Eye of the Tiger, Alice, really?" I asked.

"Yeah," she said, her lower lip pouting a bit. "I thought it was appropriate to get you psyched up to seduce my brother… again."

"Eew, don't say it like that," I complained. "It sounds so dirty. Besides, sex isn't really the point, it's just an added bonus. The point is to show Edward that I'm ready to trust him with my heart _and_ my body."

"Yeah, yeah," she grumbled. "So, what's the plan?"

"Well," I said, an ornery smile pulling at my lips, "The plan is to tease him all day. This sexy little number that you put together should do the trick, for starters. Then, I'm going to surprise him by pulling a reappearing act in his classes. And then tonight, when he comes in my bedroom window, I'll be ready for him…" I trailed off in what I hoped was a mysterious manner.

"Ooh, I love it!" Alice squealed, clapping her hands in delight as we pulled into a parking space.

"Deep, calming breaths, Al," I muttered as we stepped out of the car.

I was hoping my outfit would garner a reaction from Edward, and I wasn't disappointed. We locked eyes across the lot, and as his gaze dropped lower to sweep over my curves, his mouth dropped open. He stared at me all through Lit class, but he seemed to be uncomfortable. He kept squirming in his chair, and when I snuck a glance over at him, I couldn't help but notice that he was sporting a _raging hard-on_. I went from wide-eyed surprise to heavy-lidded lust in a matter of seconds, but even in my state the humor of the situation didn't escape me. When I let out a little giggle, Edward turned to face me. I raised one eyebrow, and he knew he was caught. The inviting pink blush that spread over his cheeks and neck made me smile in silent victory.

By lunch time, I felt like the most powerful woman in the world. I headed to the cafeteria to tease Edward a bit, and I was assaulted by the sight of Tanya in my seat _again_ with her nasty hands on Edward's arm. _Unbe-fucking-lievable. Has the woman no shame?_ He was cringing away from her touch, and when his eyes met mine, they pleaded for help. I strode across the room and plopped myself down on his lap, my back to Tanya. I kissed him chastely on the side of his mouth, and settled myself comfortably against his chest. _Mine._ Finally, the bitch got a clue and left. I gave one little grind to his now-obvious erection as I climbed out of his lap, and I noticed that Edward's eyes were glazed over with lust as he looked at me questioningly.

"What?" I asked, popping one of Jasper's fries into my mouth. "I just had to get that bitch out of my seat." Everyone laughed as I tried to look as innocent as possible, folding my hands under my chin sweetly.

When I stood up to leave lunch early, Edward looked disappointed. _Don't worry, baby, I won't be gone for long. _ I walked directly over to the main office to get my schedule switched back so I'd have Biology with Edward again. The office lady was annoyed, but she didn't feel like arguing with me, so she rearranged my schedule again with little complaint.

I entered the Biology classroom right on time, only to find Lauren occupying my old seat. _What is it with these bitches taking my seat?_ She was trying desperately to get Edward's attention as he read a book before class, but he was studiously ignoring her. He glanced up as I approached, and his expression turned from one of boredom and mild disgust to a look of pleased surprise. I just glared at Lauren, because she knew damn well that was still my chair, and she scampered off to her desk. Ahh.

I took my place, and Edward was positively glowing. He was beautiful, but I had to laugh. "Edward, if I didn't know better, I would say that looks like an 'I'm gonna get some' face," I said, a note of teasing in my voice. He just shrugged happily.

Banner droned on and on about something, but neither of us paid any attention. The same old electricity pulsed between us, and we couldn't keep our eyes off each other as we sat, looking, smiling, and blushing. At some point, I realized that a certain part of his anatomy was standing at attention. _Shit! Still? Again?_ I shivered with pleasure as I remembered the things he could do with it. Instead of drooling all over myself, I wrote him a note.

**Is that for me, baby?**

He read it, then looked up at me. I jutted my chin in the direction of his lap. He looked down, nodding shyly, but when he met my gaze again his dark emerald eyes smoldered with unabashed heat. _Holy shit._

***

I waited in the dark of my room wearing only a pair of pale blue cotton boyshorts, my covers pulled up under my chin. Charlie had gone to sleep hours ago, and I could hear his rhythmic snores from down the hall. Practically shaking in anticipation, I listened for the creak of the window. I just closed my eyes for a second, and James had his hand on my throat, squeezing so tightly that it cut off my airway. I wanted to struggle, but it felt like my entire body was paralyzed. I woke up screaming and crying, my arms flailing in the dark. My wayward fist collided with something, and I was pulled into a warm embrace. _Edward._

He held me until the tears stopped and my breathing calmed. When I tilted my head up to face him, he scrambled to explain. "Bella, look, I can explain," he began, nervously running a hand through his hair. "You said you've been having trouble sleeping, so, well, I… I came over to sing to you and hold your hand, and it seemed to help. So, I've been here every night." He looked down, ashamed.

"Edward, it's okay," I said softly. "I know."

"You do?"

"Yeah. You've been keeping the nightmares away. I'm beginning to think I'll never be able to sleep without you again," I said shyly.

He tilted my chin up so that I could meet his smoldering gaze. "You'll never have to. Bella, I swear to you that I'll be by your side forever, or until you force me away. I will never leave you again."

"Do you swear it, Edward?" I asked, pleading him with my eyes. "Can I trust you never to leave me?"

His green eyes bore into mine with unparalleled intensity, and my breath caught in my throat. "Isabella, I couldn't leave you again if I tried. I swear to you that I'll always be here."

Before he could speak again, I crashed my lips to his with a fervor that matched the fire in his eyes.


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19 – Release**

"_Do you swear it, Edward?" I asked, pleading him with my eyes. "Can I trust you never to leave me?"_

_His green eyes bore into mine with unparalleled intensity, and my breath caught in my throat. "Isabella, I couldn't leave you again if I tried. I swear to you that I'll always be here."_

_Before he could speak again, I crashed my lips to his with a fervor that matched the fire in his eyes._

Our kiss was fire and wetness and pressure, and after a few glorious moments I broke away to look at Edward. We stared at each other, and the atmosphere in the room seemed to shift—the air around us began to buzz with heat and urgency, and suddenly I couldn't stand the distance between us. I wanted him. I _needed _him. Grasping his soft hair between my fingers, I brought his lips to mine, my open mouth licking and nipping at his in a silent plea for more.

Desperate to feel the weight of his hard body on mine, I grabbed him by the shoulders and pulled him down on top of me, my legs parting to make a space for his hips between them. He lowered his mouth to mine and kissed me fervently, but all too soon he pulled away, sitting up to rest on his heels. I let out a little whimper of loss, but he placed a palm on my cheek to still me.

"Ssh, my girl, slow down. This time I'm going to do it right," he said, and the husky tenor of his voice reverberated to my very core. When I sat up to meet him, the covers fell away from my bare upper torso, and Edward gasped in surprise. His eyes followed the path of his finger on my skin as he lightly traced along my collarbone, and the combination of his feather-light touches and the intensity of his gaze overwhelmed my senses.

He held my trembling body to his own as he kissed me – my mouth, my chin, my throat – and I sighed softly as my head fell back, lost to the sensation of his gentle lips against my skin. His kisses were soft but intense, and I felt the pit of my stomach tighten in aching need. I felt the familiar sensation of aching for him, but an additional tension started to develop between us this time.

He wanted to take it slow, but we'd never taken anything slow before, at least not physically, and honestly it was terrifying. Without the desperate, frenzied actions of being caught up in the moment, everything felt so much more _real_. And personal. Feeling awkward and self-conscious, I found myself starting to second-guess my every move, every touch. _Fuck! What do I do?_ He must have seen the trepidation in my eyes, because he laid me back on the comforter and climbed over me, silently taking control.

Edward pulled his t-shirt off, then his lips were everywhere as he placed gentle, wet kisses along my jaw, down my neck, and across my shoulders. Helpless beneath him, all I could do was respond to his touch. The feel of his hot mouth on my skin was driving me crazy, and I panted and squirmed in breathless frustration. Finally, his head dipped lower, and he cupped my breasts gently in his hands before peppering sweet, reverent little kisses all over my chest.

Needing more, I arched my back and pushed into his hands, my nipples hardening against his palms and begging for his touch. He glanced up at me with a cocky smirk, and I almost regretted letting him turn me into a needy puddle of goo, but then his mouth was on my little pink nipple, sucking and licking and nipping, and I lost the capacity for rational thought as I soaked through my panties. While his attentions were focused on one, he teased the other nipple with his fingers—pinching and pulling until my body burned for him.

My hips arched up towards him of their own accord, and this time when he flashed me a wicked smile, I smiled back. Keeping his eyes on mine, Edward hooked two long, pale fingers into the waistband of my thin cotton boyshorts and tugged on them playfully. My grin widened as he slowly dragged them down my legs._ Oh, yeah, baby. Time to give me what I've been missing. Can a one-time experience turn a girl into a sex-crazed cock-fiend? Why, yes. Yes, it can._

I groaned with anticipation as he slowly worked his way back up my body, nuzzling my ankle with his perfect nose, wetly kissing up my calf, and pausing to lick and bite at the inside of my knee. By the time he made his leisurely way up to my thigh, I was whimpering uncontrollably and my eyes were threatening to roll back into my head.

But when his teeth softly grazed the sensitive skin of my inner thigh, I froze. _Oh, shit. Wait… is he… ? Mayday! _Realizing exactly how close his face was to my very wet, very delicate area, I panicked and immediately tried to squirm away. Of all the things that James had ever said to me, one thing stuck in my mind, and I couldn't help but recall his words. _"Are you kidding, Bella? No, I won't do that—it's really fucking gross! If any guy ever tells you he doesn't mind going down on a woman, that's a fucking lie…"_

Edward's rich, low voice broke into my consciousness. "Bella? Come back here, baby. I don't know what you're thinking right now, but everything's okay." I relaxed minutely at his soothing words, but I was still unsure of how I felt about what he was about to do. Gripping my hips firmly, he pulled me back towards him, but he must have seen the panic on my face, because he stopped to lightly stroke my stomach. "Bella, just trust me," he said as he gazed intently into my eyes.

I nodded slightly, and almost instantly I felt the warm, wet stroke of his tongue between my legs. I cried out as he kissed and licked me gently, giving me time to process the unfamiliar sensations. It was incredibly slippery, and every motion of his tongue against my skin felt like it was magnified a thousand-fold. The feeling was intensely intimate. _No fucking joke… it doesn't get much more intimate than having a guy's head between your legs!_ I found myself bucking up into his mouth, and when he chuckled lightly against my skin I practically screamed from the vibrations.

He pulled away from me for a moment to look me squarely in the eye, the wetness on his lips and chin glistening in the moonlight. "I knew you'd love this," he said with a knowing smirk, his voice low and gravelly. "You taste so fucking good—even better than you smell." Then he started licking my clit, flicking and teasing it with the tip of his tongue, and I was fucking lost in ecstasy, thinking I might die from the sensation as I felt his hardness pressed against my leg. He wrapped his lips around my sensitive little bundle of nerves and sucked, forcing me to let go. Every inch of my body surrendered to his will as I came, hot and hard into his eager mouth.

_Fuuuuuuck. I am Jell-O. Or an amoeba. The happiest, most satisfied amoeba EVER!_

I smiled shyly as Edward crawled up to lay beside me, then nestled myself against his chest so I didn't have to look him in the eye when I asked my next question. "So, that wasn't… _nasty_?" I questioned, point blank.

"What?" he asked, shocked. "No! Where on earth would you get an idea like that? You taste fucking incredible! You've got me so turned on that I can't hardly stand it." He pulled my hand over and pressed it against the straining bulge in his jeans, thrusting his hips so I could feel exactly how turned on he was. _Oh, hell, yes._

He felt huge and impossibly hard against my palm, and I traced my fingers along his denim-covered length, eliciting a soft moan. Overcome with the need to feel his naked skin, I frantically tugged open the button-fly of his jeans and reached inside, gasping when my hand came into contact with hot, silky skin. _Shit, he's not wearing underwear. That's it… I need him_ now.

I wrapped my fingers around his rigid cock and squeezed at the same time as I sucked deeply on the skin of his neck, hoping to drive him over the edge. His head fell back as a hiss escaped his parted lips. _Screw taking it slow—I want him to flip me over on my back and fuck me until I scream his name. _Stroking up and down with my hand, I pressed my lips to his, licking urgently into his open mouth.

After a moment, Edward slowed the pace of our kiss, pulling back slightly to place soft pecks against my now-pouting lips. "Bella," he said firmly, "I will _not_ be rushed." The sound of his voice, rough with desire, worsened the throbbing heat between my legs, and I thought I might go insane before he touched me again.

When he finally pushed me back on the bed and crawled over me, I was so happy that I wanted to cry. He didn't stop me as I gently hooked my hands under the waistband of his jeans, pushing them down, then working them the rest of the way off his legs with my feet. _Yes yes yes!_

He paused, looking intently at his hand as he slid two fingers into me, preparing my body to accommodate him. I couldn't help but cry out at the sensation of his long, dexterous fingers moving slickly inside me. All too soon, he withdrew them, and I whimpered my disapproval, but as he shifted his body slightly, aligning himself at my entrance, all traces of my disappointment vanished.

Hovering over me, Edward gazed into my eyes, and as we stared at one another, the rest of the world ceased to exist. "I love you," he said simply, and then he guided the head of his cock into my hot, wet folds. I moaned as he pushed into me slowly, inch by glorious inch. The fit was tight, but I was drenched, and I felt only pleasure as my body stretched and molded itself to him. When he was in to the hilt, he stopped, and the air was filled with the sound of our ragged breathing.

He rested his forehead to mine for a moment, then he began to move his body against mine with a slow, gentle rocking motion. "It feels so good," I whispered breathlessly. Edward kissed my lips softly, then changed the angle of his hips, sliding in and out of me as he hit the spot inside that made me grunt and pant with pleasure. His face was intent, his brow furrowed with concentration as he moved.

His muscles tightened and flexed with the motion of his body, and I could see the sheen of perspiration on his face and neck in the moonlight. The heat and dampness of his body only intensified the sweet, incredible smell of his skin – cinnamon and sex and vanilla – and it mixed with my musky arousal to form an intoxicating cloud around us.

Suddenly, he pushed my knees up towards my shoulders and thrust into me deeply, and we both cried out at the incredible feeling. He pumped in and out of me deliberately, prolonging the wonderfully torturous sensation, the expression on his beautiful face a mixture of pleasure and pain. Our soft grunts and moans filled the air, and I'd never been so turned on in my life. It felt like a slow burn, and he was gradually driving me to the edge. _I think I'm losing my mind._

"Edward," I whimpered, "I'm not sure if I can handle this."

"Mmm," he moaned, never ceasing his rhythmic movements, "feels so good, doesn't it? Like you might go crazy? It's okay—I'm right here with you."

His words reassured me even as he quickened the pace of his hips against mine. My stomach tightened and my legs began to shake as I mewled softly in helpless rapture. As he pushed deeper and faster, my walls contracted around him, tighter and tighter until my world exploded in a flash of white light and ecstasy. I whimpered and writhed as wave after wave of incredible sensation washed over me.

With a low, sexy groan, I felt him twitch and spill into me, emptying his release deep inside in hot, wet spurts. His face was angelic as he came—his eyes squeezed shut, his cheeks flushed beautifully, and his swollen lips slightly parted—and I knew I would never forget that sight for as long as I lived.

When it was over, his gorgeous green eyes opened, and we silently stared at each other, still connected and wearing matching expressions of what must have been awe. Not wanting to break the spell, I waited for him to speak. "Bella, that was… incredible," he said softly.

I held back a laugh, because he was looking at me wondrously, like I just changed his life, but really he was the one who did all the work. "Yes," I stated simply, "it was."

Kissing me sweetly, he slid out of me with a little groan and lay down on the bed, pulling me into his chest and nuzzling his face into my hair. We lay there contentedly until our breathing evened out, and in that moment I felt closer to him than I ever had to anyone. _This is heaven and he's my angel—my gorgeous, sexy, mind-blowingly talented angel._

Wordlessly, he unraveled his arms from around my shoulders and stood up beside the bed. He grabbed his jeans from the floor where we'd tossed them, and just like that it was happening all over again. The only thing missing from this grotesquely familiar scene was the disconcerting sensation of Edward's cum running out of my body to drip onto the sheets. _Oh, wait, I spoke too soon._

_Fuck! How could he do this to me again? Please, no, not again!_ A strangled cry escaped my throat, and when Edward spun to look at me, my vision was blurred with unshed tears. "Please, don't go," I mumbled pathetically, and his face contorted into a mask of pained guilt and horror at my words.

"Oh, Bella, no!" he gasped. "You thought I was going to leave?" The words had barely left his lips before he was holding me to him, rocking us back and forth and murmuring softly. "God, Bella, I'm so sorry. How thoughtless of me. I was just going to get something out of my jeans pocket," he whispered.

His earnest words snapped me out of my tearful daze. "No, Edward, I'm the one who should apologize. I said that I trust you and I do… It's just that it was happening just like before. You stood and grabbed your clothes, and you weren't saying anything… and I just thought…" I rambled, loosely covering myself with the bedsheet.

"You needn't apologize for anything," he insisted, his eyebrows furrowed. "This one's all on me. If I weren't such a monster, I never would have left you then, and you wouldn't have that horrible memory to relive." He tilted my chin up so that I was forced to meet his gaze, and I noticed that his eyelashes were wet with tears. "I don't deserve you, but I love you with all my heart," he said, his voice cracking with emotion. "Would you like to see what I was getting out of my pocket?" he asked, flashing me a small smile that didn't reach his eyes.

Slowly, I nodded, and he picked up the discarded pants, digging something out of the front pocket. It was a small, velvet pouch, and he handed it to me. "For you," he said. I pulled open the pouch and upended it, gasping as a delicate bracelet dropped into my palm. It was beautiful, with small silver links and a sparkling crystal heart that hung from the chain.

Momentarily, I was speechless, but then I said the first thing that came to mind. "It's breathtaking, but you shouldn't have."

A slow grin stretched across Edward's face. "Do you like it?" he asked, his eyes full of hope.

"Of course… it's beautiful. I love it."

"And I love you," he said, now smiling his heartbreakingly-gorgeous crooked grin.

I flicked on the light to get a better look at the heart pendant, and when the light glittered off its flawless facets, I realized that it wasn't a crystal, after all. "Edward!"

He just smiled like a man who had conquered the world. "It was my mother's," he explained, "and I want you to have it."

I looked up at him, tears and adoration flowing from my eyes as he fastened the bracelet around my wrist. His face glowing with triumph, he was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen. I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him, and his soft moan of approval only served to fan the flames of desire that were burning in the pit of my stomach again.

"Insatiable," he muttered against my lips, teasing me.

I forced his lean body backwards on the bed and straddled his hips. "I'll show you insatiable," I said with a smirk. "You've created a monster."

"I suppose I have," he agreed. "I guess it's a good thing that Charlie is such a sound sleeper," he said, and we both collapsed in a pile of giddy laughter.


	20. Chapter 20

_**Author's notes:**_

_Last chapter before the epilogue… there WILL be an epilogue, so stay tuned!!_

_This story was nominated for a couple of awards over at theindietwificawards(dot)com, and tons of other great stories are nominated, so go place your votes! Also, please review this chapter. Come on, it's the last full chappie, and I've seriously never asked you for anything. :D (end of guilt trip)_

**Chapter 20 – Resolution**

I awoke in the dark, disoriented. The sheets were tangled and twisted around my legs, and I gently tugged myself free of them as I rolled over on my stomach. I felt cool air on my skin—I was completely naked, save for a delicate silver bracelet around my wrist. Dangling from the bracelet, the multifaceted diamond heart that had belonged to Edward's mother glinted and sparkled in the white moonlight that poured through the bedroom window. I closed my eyes, momentarily overcome with emotion. _How did I ever get so lucky as to find Edward? _

When I turned towards Edward's warm body, my breath caught in my throat. He was stretched across the mattress beside me, bare to the waist, with the thin sheet draped low over his hips. Startlingly perfect in the dim light, he looked more like a mythical god carved from marble than a flesh-and-blood man. My mind was still clouded from sleep, and I could almost imagine him a sculpture cut from stone, but the rhythmic rise and fall of his tight abdomen gave him away.

As I stared at him in awe, my hand moved to his torso of its own accord, and I slowly trailed a finger down the ridges of his stomach muscles, following the line of soft bronze hair that led from his navel to the edge of the sheet that covered his lower body. Drinking him in with my eyes, I shuddered silently at his overt masculinity. My light, reverent touch drew a soft moan from Edward's sleeping lips, and I diverted my gaze up to his face.

His flawless profile was illuminatedby the moonlight, his full lips slightly parted as he drew deep, even breaths. Relaxed in sleep, his face was boyish and beautiful, but his hard, muscular body was all man. His tousled mop of reddish brown hair begged to have my fingers tangled in it, and I longed to see his clear emerald eyes, but he looked so peaceful that I decided to let him sleep. Gently, I curled up against his chest, and when he instinctively gathered me closer to him, I sighed in contentment.

Just as I was drifting off to sleep, I heard it: a groan so low and gravelly that it came out more like a growl. "Bella."

Edward's tone, raw and needful, made my breath quicken with excitement. He turned then, angling his hips slightly and pressing them into mine, and I could feel every inch of his steel hard-on through the thin sheet that separated us. I couldn't help but moan at the sensation of his stiff length against my soft, yielding body. _Mmmm... he's having a fucking SEX DREAM!_

Eventually, to my disappointment, he stopped sleep-humping me, but he continued to let out a series of short, breathy groans. Moisture pooled between my thighs in response to the sound—this went on until the sheets were damp and I couldn't stand it anymore. _If I wake him up by riding his cock, he's going to think I'm some kind of nymphomaniac who can't go four whole hours without having him inside me. Heh, maybe he'd be right… Fuck it._

Surrendering to the warm, aching need, I practically tore the covers from Edward's gorgeous body and straddled his knees, lining my mouth up with its intended target. He was beautiful, and his soft skin smelled like candy and fabric softener, making my mouth water in anticipation. Just as I leaned in to circle the head of his perfect cock with the tip of my tongue, Edward awoke with a gasp. I briefly wondered how he'd react to seeing me, naked and poised to lick him like a lollipop, but he couldn't say anything because I pounced on his chest and put my tongue in his mouth.

"Fuck, Bella," he whispered hoarsely when I pulled away for air. I could feel his excitement poking against my inner thigh, huge and hard, and I liked it so much that a little trickle of wetness seeped out of me and onto his leg. _Hmm, that's kind of embarrassing. I wonder if he'll notice. _Almost instantly, his pupils dilated and a low growl rumbled in his chest. _Yep, he noticed._

Eyes wild and out-of-control, he flipped us over so that he was on top, his hips firmly pinning me to the mattress. As much as I was enjoying the position, I had other ideas. _Not so fast…_ I'm _running the show this time. _Utilizing one of my handy self-defense moves, I grabbed Edward's arm, flipping us over so that I was on top once again, and his green eyes sparkled with surprised excitement.

"Is it safe to assume you're taking control of this round?" he asked teasingly.

I just nodded, biting my lip as my confidence was slowly replaced by an untimely case of nerves.

A wide grin spread across Edward's face, and he laced the fingers of both hands behind his head in a demonstration of his eager submission.

_Okay, so now that I have him where I want him, what exactly am I going to do to him? Shit, I should have planned this out a little better…_

I started by kissing his full lips hungrily, hoping that instinct would take over and guide my inexperienced body through this most primal of acts. Somewhat tentatively, I grazed my lips lower, roaming down the sweet skin of his neck to nibble at his collarbone. Edward sighed in contentment, and my lips trailed lower still, exploring the hard planes of his chest. Glancing up at his face to gauge his reaction, I darted my tongue out, using the tip of it to lick his small, peach-colored nipple. His eyes flashed, and he bucked his hips against me, creating a sudden, delicious pressure where I was carefully seated on his groin.

I practically whimpered in response, and Edward's grin widened even further. Partly trying to affect him as strongly as he affected me, but mostly just seeking the friction my body craved, I sat up and rolled my hips firmly against him, and his eyes squeezed shut at the sensation, a low moan escaping his parted lips. As I continued to grind against his erection in a slow, instinctive rhythm, careful not to let him slip inside me, his hands gripped my hips, guiding my movements and rocking my body even more firmly against his own.

"Are you sure you've never done this before?" Edward teased breathlessly, biting his full bottom lip.

"Yeah, baby, I'm sure," I panted, smiling. "It just feels right, though, like my body was made for you."

He purred happily in agreement.

Finally, when I could endure no more of the exquisite torture, I lifted my hips and lowered myself down on his thick cock, burying it within me in one fluid motion. Edward's lust-darkened emerald eyes widened. He grunted and I cried out as we were finally joined, but I never halted the smooth, rolling undulations of my hips against his as I brought us on a slow climb to ecstasy.

The pleasure tightened in the pit of my stomach like a coiled spring, and my motions intensified. I ground more firmly against him, riding his body and whimpering unintelligibly at the incredible feelings of fullness and friction. A thin layer of perspiration covered our bodies as we moved together, wet skin on skin, and I cried out as every muscle in my body tensed in anticipation.

I had difficulty continuing to move as my climax approached, so Edward took over seamlessly, gripping my hips and rocking them roughly into his as I began to lose control. The sensation was incredible – simultaneously too much and not enough – and when I looked down at Edward, he was gazing up at me with heavy-lidded eyes, watching my face as he worked our bodies together.

His expression, filled with love and lust and wonder and heat, put me over the edge, and I mewled helplessly as I surrendered to the all-consuming waves of white-hot ecstasy, crying out for Edward as I lost myself. His jaw clenched tightly, Edward held off his own orgasm as he watched me come, then as my body shuddered with aftershocks, he spilled his release deep inside me, panting and whispering my name like a prayer. I watched him closely, and his face was ethereal as he came—his cheeks were flushed, his hair damp with sweat, and his gorgeous green eyes rolled back into his head as the pleasure overwhelmed his senses. _That's the most unspeakably beautiful thing I've ever seen._

We didn't need words to express the love that flowed palpably between us, so we just held each other, staring into one another's eyes until we both drifted off to sleep. With my last conscious thought, I could almost imagine that I heard Edward's velvet voice whisper in my ear: "One day you'll be my wife, my beautiful Bella."

***

Monday morning dawned, greenish-grey and glorious. I was fairly confident that I was the only person on the entire fucking Olympic Peninsula who would consider this weather glorious, but I was riding so high on the afterglow from my weekend with Edward that even the dank, cloudy morning weather seemed downright perfect to me.

I couldn't help it—I felt ecstatic, and more satisfied than I ever had in my entire life. _Edward loves me!_ I lay in bed for a few minutes, enjoying the smell of my newly Edward-scented pillow and recalling my favorite (naked) parts of the weekend. I blushed as the memories came rushing back to me – our perspiring bodies, grinding together, Edward's red, swollen lips, green eyes rolling back as he came…

Edward and I had spent Friday and Saturday night together (unbeknownst to oblivious Charlie), but we had made the difficult decision to stay in our respective homes on Sunday, finishing the homework that we neglected over the weekend. We'd spoken on the phone on Sunday night—after nearly an hour of bargaining we came to an agreement that we would take turns driving to school every morning.

Prying myself from bed, I bounced happily through my morning routine, eventually pulling on a stretchy navy boatneck top and jeans. I was driving today, and when I headed out the front door of the house, I was met with the icing on the cake of a fucking fabulous morning. Edward's silver Volvo was in the driveway, and he was there, leaning against my Audi and looking like a wet dream in a blue button-down shirt with the sleeves rolled up. _Mine!_

For a moment, I seriously considered taping a sign to his ass that said "Property of Bella Swan" but then it struck me that that might come off as a little psycho. Or a lot psycho. Whatever.

My skin tingled at the mere sight of Edward, and I had no idea how I'd get through an entire school day without kissing him, licking him, fondling him… _Focus, Swan!_

We hopped in the car and as I drove us to school he played with the skin of my palm, drawing little circles that made my nerves crackle and trailing his fingers up to toy contentedly with the silver links of my bracelet. He smelled so fucking good in the enclosed space of the car that I almost forgot how to breathe. One would think that our time together over the weekend would have taken the edge off of my crazed, aching need for him, but if anything, my longing was more acute. I was an addict, desperate for another fix, and Edward was my drug of choice. I needed more and more to satisfy me, and I hoped to god that the feeling would never go away.

I must have been wearing an odd expression, because when I glanced over to Edward in the passenger seat, he was studying my face intently.

"What are you thinking about?" he asked with a crooked grin, his velvet voice sending my heart into palpitations.

I shrugged, then answered him honestly. "Even if I could touch you and taste you and wrap myself around you for all eternity, I still don't think I'd ever get enough." Embarrassed at my revelation, I blushed involuntarily, keeping my eyes on the road.

I felt the back of his hand stroke my cheekbone. "I know I'll never get enough of you, but I'll happily spend the rest of my life trying," he responded softly.

At his words, my thoughts drifted to vows and rings and permanent things, but I tried to force those things from my mind. Thinking logically, I reasoned that we are only 17, and even though I couldn't even imagine ever being apart from Edward, marriage is such a tangible, real-world thing that brings on practical concerns like divorce. I'd seen first-hand how premature, rash decisions can lead to fractured lives, and I couldn't bear to think of imposing that possibility on our relationship.

Edward's parents had a picture perfect marriage, and I knew that his views on matrimony weren't so… jaded. _What if he wants to get married someday? Could I ever agree to that? Edward. Forever…_

I sneaked a glance at his flawless profile, only to discover that he was still staring at me, and the smile that stretched across his face took my breath away. In that instant, I knew the answer to the questions I'd been pondering. A resounding 'yes'. If, someday, he asked me to be his wife, I'd say yes in a heartbeat—to hell with my parents' failed marriage or my skewed notions of the whole institution.

Stealing another look into his sparkling green eyes, I realized that I would never hesitate to give him anything he asked. Considering my inability to refuse him, I only hoped that if he ever decided to propose, he'd at least wait until we're in college. Otherwise, I might end up a bride at 17, cementing my status as a backwoods Washington redneck. _Sweet._

We pulled into the school parking lot, and my heart dropped into my stomach as I stepped out of the car. There, waiting for me with her hands on her hips, was Tanya fucking Petersen. I thought that nothing could have ruined my spectacular mood, but if I had to name one person who could put a damper on it, it would be that strawberry blonde bitch. What the fuck does she want? _To paw my boyfriend again? Not real fucking likely…_

Rather than her usual modus operandi (fall all over Edward, humiliate herself, repeat), she approached me first.

"Tanya," I spoke in a sickeningly sweet tone, "to what do I owe the pleasure?"

She looked me up and down haughtily, her hazel eyes glittering with barely-contained hatred. Edward must have caught the venomous glance, because he was around the car and by my side in an instant, taking my hand in his large one and regarding Tanya distastefully. She looked down at our joined hands, then back up to Edward's face, slowly taking in his lips, still kiss-swollen. Her eyes widened almost comically as she noticed the faint shadow of a hickey, half hidden beneath the collar of his shirt.

"I suppose the happy couple is back together again?" she asked with a sneer. "With all of this on-again-off-again bullshit, it's hard for the rest of us to keep up."

Her words accomplished their goal of irking me, and I opened my mouth to respond, but Edward spoke first. "Trust me, Tanya, there is nothing 'on-again-off-again' about my feelings for Bella," he said in a low voice. He turned to me then, and his gaze, deep green and smoldering, penetrated my soul. He lifted our interlocked hands to press a gentle kiss on my knuckles. "Forever," he whispered against the skin of my hand, and I could only nod in agreement. Ignored and forgotten, Tanya stormed off.

When I recovered motor capabilities, we walked into the school, his arm casually slung across my shoulders in a blatant show of possession. I fucking loved it.

***

Morning classes seemed to fly by unusually quickly, and before I knew it, it was time to head to lunch. A lanky spectacle in black leather pants caught my attention in the hall, so I hollered out to him. "Jazz," I called out, and he turned to face us, smiling.

"Submissive?" Edward guessed, cocking a question eyebrow in my direction.

I just shook my head as we approached, looking Jasper over more thoroughly as he stood, hands out to the sides and grinning. He wore black eyeliner and had some kind of pomade in his hair. _Aha! _"Rockstar," I stated, not even bothering to make it a question, because I knew I was correct.

Alice appeared out of nowhere, grabbing Jasper's and my hands and confirming my guess. "Right you are, Bella my dear! You're good at this game!"

Laughing, we walked to the cafeteria, joining Em and Rose at our usual table. Emmett was already in the process of destroying a giant mound of pizza and fries as Rosalie looked on, her face a strange mixture of disgust and admiration. "Bewwa," he exclaimed through a mouthful of food when I approached the table.

"What's up, big guy?" I responded happily. He smiled, a wayward fry hanging from his mouth, but his expression turned to one of worry as he looked over my shoulder. _Great. Let me guess…_

"Hello, Tanya," Alice said politely as Tanya took a seat directly the fuck beside me. The bitch ignored Alice, instead turning her attentions to Edward, who occupied the seat on the other side of me.

"Hi Edward," she purred, and he just nodded once in her direction.

My temper flared at the slight to Alice, but I held my tongue, waiting to see how this whole thing would play out. A knot was beginning to form in the pit of my stomach, and on some instinctual level I knew that the proverbial shit was about to hit the fan. Whose shit and what fan, I wasn't sure, but it didn't amount to a good feeling.

I tried to ignore Tanya's presence, focusing instead on the beautiful boy beside me. I gave him half of my cinnamon raisin bagel, then watched with rapt attention as he delicately pulled it apart with his long fingers. Reaching out to retrieve the remaining half, I heard Tanya's sharp intake of breath.

"No," she muttered, "it can't be. He wouldn't." She grabbed my arm and pulled it roughly towards her, and I almost backhanded her across the face before I realized what she was staring at. Her gaze was locked on the diamond heart dangling from the bracelet around my wrist.

"You gave _her_ your _mother's fucking diamond_?!!" Tanya screeched at full volume. The entire cafeteria fell silent at the outburst, and all eyes gravitated to our table.

Edward just sat there in wide-eyed disbelief, obviously at a loss for words. "Uh, yeah," he finally managed. "I mean… Yes, I did."

"Aaaargh," she screamed in response. _What the fuck?_ "Are you kidding me? So, what, do you intend to marry her or something?"

We just stared at Tanya incredulously as the emotions played across her face—first rage and confusion, then, unexpectedly, utter despair.

"Oh my god," she continued softly, "you do." Tanya's voice tapered off into a whisper as she realized the truth of her own words. Eventually, she began to tremble with some unknown emotion. Anger? Disappointment?

"Edward," she suddenly wailed, her voice a high-pitched keen. "I waited years for you to come around! I was patient, because I knew you'd eventually settle down and we could be together. I wanted a relationship, Edward, so fucking badly. But you weren't ready, so I took what I could get. Do you have any idea how hard it was to pretend I didn't give a shit?"

At her words, Emmett choked on his pizza. After he recovered, he resumed watching the scene play out in front of him, enthralled. "Fuck buddy from the past has wanted more all along… This is better than a goddamn soap opera!" he said with a chuckle. Rose rolled her eyes and smacked him on the back of the head on principle.

"You—you said you were cool with keeping things… casual. You lied to me?" Edward asked, ignoring Emmett's commentary.

"Duh," Tanya replied rudely. "It was the only way I could get what I wanted. What I want is you, Edward."

Alice snorted, trying unsuccessfully to cover it up with a cough. She elbowed Jasper to get his attention—he'd been staring off into space, oblivious to the conversation that had drawn the attention of all other occupants of the room. He rolled his glassy, eyeliner-rimmed eyes forward to where Tanya stood.

To my horror, she dropped to her knees on the cafeteria floor in front of Edward, gripping his legs tightly. She spoke again, but for a moment her words didn't register in my head, because I couldn't believe that she was actually doing this, here and now.

She started begging, pleading him to give her a chance to make him happy. Edward was red-faced and flustered, and all I could do was raise my eyebrows as I watched, because this was just fucking pathetic. I almost felt sorry for the girl. _Almost, but not quite_.

Finally, she seemed to have reached the end of her rant, and she paused to catch her breath.

Across the silent cafeteria, Lauren stood up from her chair, and it was as if I could see everything happening in slow motion. Like a tiger stalking her prey, Lauren approached the spot where Tanya knelt. She looked around, making sure she still had the attention of the entire lunchroom, then smirked when she confirmed that all eyes were on her.

Lauren was flanked by a gum-smacking Jessica, and I just shook my head, because I knew that there was no way this could end well. I knew exactly what she was doing—she saw Tanya, spent and broken on the floor—a wounded gazelle, separated from the pack. She could sense her weakness, smell her blood… and she was about to pounce.

"Seriously, Tanya?" Lauren questioned scornfully, her nasal voice ringing out unpleasantly in the quiet room. "You really thought that Edward Cullen would be interested in you as more than just a casual fuck? Boys like him don't bring whores like you home to their mothers," she said with a cruel laugh. "Besides," she added, giving a pointed glance to Tanya's backside, "you've got a fat ass."

Jessica's statement of assent was blocked out by the bloodcurdling scream of rage that emitted from somewhere in Tanya's chest as she sprung from the floor and tackled Lauren in a whirling mass of hair, acrylic nails, and fury.

"For the love of God, somebody get some fuckin' Jell-O," Emmet hollered gleefully.

Tearing his eyes away from the girl fight, Edward gazed at me for a moment before I rolled my eyes and turned back to face the table, ignoring the writhing, rolling ball of girls behind me. He cocked one questioning eyebrow, and I shrugged. "I've said it before and I'll say it again. I fucking hate high school."

Lauren had made a fatal mistake: sometimes wounded animals are the most dangerous. _Fatal? Stop fantasizing, Bella, she's not dead!_

Justice was served later that afternoon when word spread that the administration had finally decided to put their collective foot down on the recent bouts of fighting in school, expelling Tanya and Lauren and sentencing Jess to a week's worth of detentions for 'egging it on'. To my great delight (and Edward's), Tanya never showed up to school again after the expulsion. Rumor had it that her parents were so humiliated by their daughter's behavior ("First the promiscuity, now _this_??") that they dragged her skanky ass back to Alaska. _Heh._

As for me, I couldn't be happier. Grabbing Edward's hand as we finally got to leave school for the day, I realized that, for the first time in my life, I felt truly content. _Sure, we're young, and yes, there will be problems along the way, but I haveno doubt that I want to spend the rest of my life making Edward happy. In bed. And, if I'm not mistaken, I'm pretty sure that when that ginger bitch Tanya asked if he planned to marry me someday, he didn't fucking say 'no'. For now, that's good enough for me. _


	21. Epilogue

A/N:

This is it… the epilogue. I've never written an epilogue before, so I hope you like it!

An EPIC thanks to Twilightzoner and also to all the readers and reviewers who've stuck with me through the story.

GO VOTE – this story is nominated for an Indie Twific Award for "Most Romantic Moment – WIP"!!! (Voting ends 7/29/09)

**Epilogue**

_Senior year_

I looked down at the letter clutched between my shaking hands. It was a small, white envelope addressed to Ms. Isabella Swan, and the return address was for the Dartmouth College Department of Admissions.

Unable to open it, but equally unable to ignore it, I dropped the trembling envelope into the middle of my kitchen table, where it lay as I continued to stare at it. It felt insane to fear such a tiny, unassuming letter, but that very letter held the key to my future. So many hopes and dreams, years of hard work… it all rested in the black and white print contained within that envelope.

_Come on, Swan, suck it up and open the damn thing. Just read the first word. Either it will say 'Congratulations' (meaning you're in) or 'Regrettably' (meaning you're fucked)._

I picked up the sealed envelope resolutely, determined to read it this time, and I actually got as far as tearing it open, but my hands were shaking badly, and my palms were sweaty, and I thought I'd probably puke on what could be my early acceptance letter to Dartmouth. I put the letter down again, sighing in frustration, then sat down in a chair, resting my head in my hands.

I wanted to wait for Edward, because I knew he'd open the letter for me then hold me as we read the words together, but that made me feel fucking weak, so I grabbed the damn thing back off the table and unfolded the letter, reading it aloud.

"_**Dear Ms. Swan,**_

_**Congratulations! You have been accepted for early admission to the Dartmouth College program for Comparative Literature…"**_

_Holy shit, I'm in! We're moving to New Hampshire in the fall! I have to tell Edward!!! _

In shock, I dropped the letter. _Edward._ Instantly, my feelings of elation melted into a depressing grey puddle of uncertainty. _What if Edward doesn't want to go to Dartmouth? Fuck, what if he didn't even get in_ _to Dartmouth?!?_ It was my number one choice, but I couldn't possibly go there without Edward. In fact, I couldn't imagine life at all without Edward.

Blinking back the salty tears that threatened to fall, I attempted to think logically. Edward's credentials were nothing short of outstanding, but he hadn't received any acceptances yet, and my first had arrived months ago. There was no reason that he shouldn't be accepted anywhere he applied, but as competitive as college admissions had become, sometimes people were turned away just because there were no open positions in the class. Plus, if I thought about it, Caucasian male Biology majors probably weren't exactly rare…

The Cullens had enough money to buy the whole fucking school if they wanted, and then Dartmouth would have to let him in, but it was morally reprehensible, and Edward would never allow it. _Damnit!_

I was still standing in the kitchen, tear stained and dismayed, when Edward let himself in the front door. For a moment, my breath caught in my throat as I looked at him. It was raining outside, and tiny droplets of water glinted in his messy bronze hair. His snug grey t-shirt was speckled with raindrops, and even his eyelashes were wet. _Gulp._

I must have looked as disastrous as I felt, because he was by my side instantly, taking me up in his arms as he peered down me, his perfect brows furrowed.

"What's wrong?" he asked softly, his velvet voice tinged with concern.

Silently, I pointed to the letter on the floor. He retrieved it from where I'd unceremoniously dropped it, then read it quickly, his worried expression brightening into a breathtakingly beautiful grin.

"But, Bella, it says you got in," he said happily, punctuating his statement with a tiny kiss on the tip of my nose.

"Thank you, Captain Obvious," I grumbled, burying my face in the front of his shirt.

Now he was thoroughly confused. "I don't get it—I thought Dartmouth was one of your top choices," he spoke against the top of my head, his arms wrapped securely around my waist.

Reluctantly, I pulled away from his chest to look into his gorgeous emerald eyes. "It's not just one of my top choices, it's my number one—" I began, but he interrupted.

"I thought you hadn't decided for sure which school was your top choice," he said.

"I hadn't, until this morning," I responded with a grin. My face fell as I continued. "At first, I was thrilled, but I know you haven't been accepted anywhere yet, and I couldn't possibly imagine going to college without you. When we said 'forever', I meant it, and if that means that we both end up going to Port Angeles Community College, then that's what we'll do…" I rambled.

He held up his hand to stop me, and I waited as he walked across the kitchen and reached into his backpack. One by one, he tossed a stack of opened envelopes onto the kitchen table. Harvard. Yale. Dartmouth. _Dartmouth?!?_

"Acceptances?" I questioned, my mouth dropping open in surprise. Edward just nodded, a look of smug satisfaction on his flawless face.

"You… you insufferable ass!" I sputtered, pouncing onto his chest. He caught me easily, having anticipated my attack. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't want your final decision to be influenced by where I had already been accepted," he said calmly, watching my face carefully to gauge my reaction to his words.

I was furious that he had kept this from me, but when I considered it, it actually made sense. Had I known that we were both accepted to Yale weeks ago, I would have taken them up on it without even bothering to wait to hear from Dartmouth. At some point along the line, Edward had become my first priority, and all else was a distant second, even my plans for college. An undoubtedly goofy grin stretched across my face as I allowed his revelation to sink in.

"We're going to Dartmouth!" I practically squeaked. Clearing my throat, I tried again. "Dartmouth."

Edward laughed. "I hear New Hampshire is lovely. Lots of… green." I just nodded, slightly overwhelmed.

"I have to call Alice," I said as my head began to clear, "and Charlie!" I reached for my cell phone, but a large hand shot out to grab mine before it reached its destination.

"Not so fast," Edward rumbled in a low voice, completely catching me off guard. I turned to face him as he continued. "You seriously thought that the only place that would take me is Port Angeles Community College?" he inquired with a dangerous smirk.

_Shit._ "I… uh… I didn't…" I trailed off, fidgeting under his intense gaze. He moved sinuously, his darkened green eyes shining with a predatory glint as he stalked toward me like some kind of sex panther. _Wow, that's hot_.

Swallowing loudly, I pulled myself together enough to utter a complete sentence. "I just meant that I'm yours. Whenever, wherever, forever."

He seemed to like that answer, because he pulled me in for a smoldering kiss, his full lips assaulting mine until we had to pull away, breathless. "You had better be careful, saying things like that to me," he said, panting lightly. "One of these days I'll just drop to one knee and ask you to be my wife."

His words made my heart pound until I thought it might burst out of my chest. _Yes, yes, yes._ However, a thought suddenly occurred to me, and I couldn't resist teasing him. "If you asked, I would say 'yes'," I said sweetly, giving him my best wide-eyed, innocent face.

"You would?" he questioned, dazzling me with a stunning smile.

"Of course," I replied matter-of-factly. "If we were married, then I'd finally get to call Carlisle 'Daddy'."

Edward's mouth gaped open, his face a priceless expression of horror.

Gloating internally, I leaned in to whisper in his ear. "And _that's_ for not telling me about the acceptance letters."

It took him a moment to recover, but then he closed his mouth and looked down at me, and his green eyes were practically black. When he spoke, his voice was deep and rough. "You've been a naughty girl, Isabella. You know better than to tease me, but you did it anyway. And I'm going to fucking punish you."

Giving me a playful wink, he reached down and unzipped his pants.

_HOLY FUCKING SHIT. I should probably settle things with the man upstairs, just in case I die of spontaneous orgasm._ Trying my best not to faint or come, I uttered a silent prayer.

_Dear God, this is Bella Swan. I know we don't talk very often, but I just want to say 'thank you'. I'm pretty sure this is about to become the best day of my whole life, and I just thought I'd thank you in advance. So, thanks. Uh… amen._

**The End**

A/N:

Let me know what you thought!


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